Aqua Teen Hunger Force · Season 4
“Carl Wash” · Season 4
In this episode: Meatwad (4), Master Shake (3), Carl (2), Frylock (1)
[Meatwad is reading through job ads] Hey, here's one. "Looking for dollars? Are you stupid, and gullible, as hell? You may qualify to be part of our dangerous experiment. Bring your resume, wallet, social security, ATM, and all credit cards to Carl's Car Wash. Minorities need not apply, or we gonna sue your balls to the wall." ...That sounds promising.
That job is perfect for you.
Ah no, all these shapes, just freakin' hurtin' my kidneys. Why-why can't people just like me for me.
But sadly, no one does. Not even the president. He's a great guy though.
[Carl is getting his car washed]
Oh, here we go. This is the first part of our patented three step treatment. [Garbage juice from a dumpster is poured on Carl's car]
Ya that kinda looks like you're just sorta slingin' dirt on it.
Well that-what that actually is is dumpster juice, which is sort of a combination of rain water and garbage; very acidic. Very harsh on the paint job.
And uh, why are we doing this again?
It's just a precoat. I mean, obviously we need to prep the outer coat for, you know, the cat urine. [Cats are lowered and shaken and their urine spreads on Carl's car] And of course the hammers. [A rotating hammer device is lowered, destroying Carl's car]
What the hell are you doin'!?
Look Carl, lets just lay back down and relax okay [Meatwad puts on a gas mask and gas blows in through a vent]
Whadda? Whadda?
Lets allow the mystery gas to do its work. [Carl sighs as he is drugged] And don't worry, we totally redo the paint [Two cans of green and yellow spray paint are lowered and start spraying Carl's car] in a color of our own choosing.
Ehh, whatever. I'm easy.
(A shadow falls over him)
Hello, Carl. I too, am Carl. And this is my son, Carl Jr.
(vague jabbering)
We are all Carl.
...neat.
Yes. Yes. Remove his brain!
Where's Carl's brain?
I am Carl Brain.
Carl...
No, Carl's brain.
I am Carl Brain.
Carl...
No no no no no, different-different Carl, okay!?
...I am Carl Brain.
My friend Carl! His brain!
Carl...
Behind you.
Is that Carl's brain? Over there, on the expressway?
Beware, for it will immediately seize you upon my command, and your mind will be enslaved to forever...polish the chrome at this wash...Car Wash.
...This is retarded.
Oh! He called you retarded daddy!
Stop him! At once! (pause) From calling me retarded!
Too late, he got away with it.
[On the street, advertising the car wash] Go on, getcha car washed! [takes the shape of a fist with the middle finger up] Or you a dumbass, gonna get yo ass WHOOPED!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
