Listen, don't tell me how to do it. You tell him [Meatwad] how to do it and he'll tell me.
“Global Grilling” · Season 4
In this episode: Master Shake (9), Meatwad (8), Frylock (5), Carl (3)
Mmm, that a George Foreman grill?
Uh, no. George Washington.
Couldn't afford the real one, huh?
Oh, and like you can?
Shut—you shut your mouth.
Dudes! Check. This. Out!
[Shake shows off a flashy, high-tech, chrome grill.]
Ah, yeah! We grillin' tonight!
Now here's what's different about this my friends: it uses actual pieces of the sun, combined with some radioactive vials from Chernobyl, and I know this is interesting also to the ladies out there, it uses them to heat burgers, steaks, chicken; no problem. And, best of all, it's not even suppposed to be inside this country.
Hey, hey maybe ya'll should turn that that thing down, Mucus Man is meltin' here.
He's not meltin' he's 'chilaxin'. If you can't speak the language, go back to Mexico. Where you were born and are from.
CCarl
You grillin'?
No, I'm curing cancer. Yes, we're grillin'.
CCarl
[looks at the Char-Nobyl 6000 emiting its flavor beam into the sky] Wow! Damn. Putting out some BTUs. [looks up at the clouds] I think those... Are those clouds on fire? [the clouds are on fire]
Oh, you noticed that. Uh, don't worry, sir. It's just the flavor beam doing its zesty magic.
CCarl
[Carl's body hair ignites] You smell burning hair?
[Shake is frantically pressing the thermostat]
How do I get this to be cold?! I keep pressing it and pressing it and pressing it, and it won't get cold now!
[Frylock checks the thermostat.]
242 degrees?! Man, that's insane!
That's what I've been sayin' for the last hour and a half, while you've been "Dreamin' of Jeanie."
Dammit, I think we're gonna have to freakin' call the landlord. The compressor's on the fritz again.
Well, he...he may be gone. I...I wouldn't go out there.
[As we see that the outside background is melting] And why not?!
Watch this. [Flings a skillet out the front door, causing it to explode almost immediately]
That was my Alton Brown saucepot! I use it to make my Balsamic Reduction! Dammit! … You've seen me do it.
Shake! You left that grill on, didn't you?
[looks outside] Oh... uh... no!
Well then, why is it on?!
I don't know... uh... it's in "self-cleaning" mode!
No, I think it's on "create-a-hole-in-the-ozone" mode, Shake!
Well, we got all that cream cheese we won at the fair. Can you tan through that?
Master Shake [dramatic music plays] ...It's worth a shot.
And it may be the only shot we have...
[Shake and Meatwad are rubbing the cream cheese on their bodies]
Or we could just shut the fucking grill off!
[Treading water] Phew. Feel that cool water. So soothing!
Yeah. Feel that polar bear chewing on my head up here. [We see this is actually happening]
Oh my God! This is a melted polar cap!
Uh, no, no. Polar caps are traditionally cold. And this... [The water begins to boil] ew, this is starting to get hot. [The grill is still running] Aw, hell.
We've got to get to that grill.
I know. You've said it like 93 times!
Hurry somebody! Hurry!
Mex—Mexicans! They'll do it! They'll do anything! Who here knows Spanish?
Carl may. His hair is dark.
That's a good thought. I'm gonna ask him.
[Carl's house has flooded.]
CCarl
NO, NO, NOOOOO!! My father's amateur porno! I love you dad…and all those money shots!
Look, ya'll just stop bickerin'. We's all need ta join together and…thank God that…it's on Extra Low.
Ya'll suck. I wish Superman was here. I'd say "Hey Superman. You mow the lawn while you're here?" And he'd be like "Yeah, I'm Superman. I know how to work the mower."
What is this dissension in the ranks? Someone refuses to blow.
CCarl
[grabs crotch] Oh no, I got somethin' you can blow all right.
Carl, no.
CCarl
WELL, WHY IS HE THE KING?!
[shoves Carl aside] Uh...because he is the smartest and best...looking, and his wisdom lead us to this great utopia, isn't that right, handsome master?
Yeessss, that is correct. Mucus minions, congest him, at once!
No, Meatwad. Please.
CCarl
[Two mucus men surround him] Ah, that takes two of ya. Let's go.
[Carl is immediately congested]
Our future's at stake, and it's in your nose. You must eat your boogers, America, for the sake of your grandchildren's lives.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.