[Back at the pirate ship, Captain Mel has a harpoon and he hops]
MCaptain Mel
Arggh! [Yakko, Wakko and Dot have fishing poles, throw them away and then show banner, it reads, WISH YOU WERE WERE; throws the telescope away] Rarr! [hops to his harpoon and sits on his chair then shoots the harpoon but it missed the Warners. He grabs the grip with a big, huge shark and gasps. He laughs and sends the shark back.] Phew. [turns around to see the Warner dressed up like pirates]
YWYakko, Wakko and Dot
Arr!
[Captain Mel raises his fist and hook then hops to them]
Arr! Yarr! Arr, Arr, Arr! Yarr!
MCaptain Mel
I'll teach you three scallawags to mess with the likes of me. [walks away, opens the door, then comes back with a treasure chest with weapons] Choose your weapon.
[They zip and then comes back with a very big, black cannon. Captain Mel gasps and shoots him, covered with black smoke]
MCaptain Mel
[dazed] How did ye do that?
Aah, you mean with the big comedy cannon? You really wanna know?
I'll take that as a yes. [zips away and Wakko and Dot bring a chair and Captain Mel sits on it. They grab two dust Ostrich Feather Dust Cleaning Brushes to clean him. They stopped and Yakko skid and they spin. Yakko, Wakko and Dot are back to their original clothes; singing] I Am the Very Model of a Cartoon Individual. My animation's comical, unusual and whimsical. I'm quite adept at funny gags, comedic theory I have read from wicked puns and stupid jokes to anvils that drop on your head. I'm very good at fancy dances, I can even pirouette then smack the villain with a fish, I know my cartoon etiquette. I can make my face all mean and really give you quite a fright. Aah! Then make up with flowers made of real exploding dynamite. [they run down the stairs, while Captain Mel chases them] When in a jam, I just yell, "Stop!" and villains in their tracks are froze. Then I sneak up, and utter "Start!" and take their hands and honk their nose. I am quite proud to be in such a hierarchical progeny from Daffy Duck and Tweety Bird to Babs and Buster Bunny. [pulls a lever with four pictures on them. Daffy Duck, Tweety Bird, Babs Bunny and Buster Bunny. Daffy gets a Hammer and hits Captain Mel. He falls into the chair] To suit my mood, I can call forth a lot of different sceneries like outer space and desert scapes and Himalayan eateries from this bag here, why, I can pull most anything imaginable like office desks and lava lights and Bert who is a cannibal! [pulls Bert, a cannibal wearing a necklace and a hula skirt and some brown shoes]
[Then Bert chases Captain Mel, who flees in terror. Now the Warners are at the end of the pirate ship]
YWYakko, Wakko and Dot
[singing] You see in matters comical, unusual and whimsical, We are the very model of cartoon individuals!
[A wide shot of Slappy's Treedome and a mailbox is shown in Burbank, California. Inside Slappy was sitting on a chair, watching TV. The TV zooms in to reveal a construction site and a sign that reads, SPIKE CONSTRUCTION. A young Slappy wearing a construction hat, skipping on a construction building. She holds a bucket of RED HOLT BOLTS. She throws a red bolt of the site, then gets a hammer and pounds it]
[scatting "Working on the Railroad"] Dah da Dee Da de da dee dee, duh de duh da dah!
[A Big Bad Wolf, wearing red overalls, peeks out of the site. He pulls his overalls revealing some high heels and Walks over. He imagines Slappy as a turkey and a sign that reads, SQUIRREL RUMP ROAST. The wolf licks his jaws and gets a fork and spoon out of his pockets. Slappy holds the bucket of RED HOT BOLTS. The wolf tries to eat Slappy, but she throws red hot metals into his mouth. He holds his neck and fire burns his head. Slappy hits the wolf with the hammer. The wolf spin and falls very far and pops up to his regular self and his eyes bugle out]
Wild take number 32. Hah ha. Regular as clockwork. [burps] Wish everything was regular as clockwork.
[The wolf hits the ground, turns into 3 babies, which cry.]
If there's one thing that I hate,
SYSlappy and Young Slappy
It's a crybaby. [laugh]
[The first Slappy coughs and spits, while the second Slappy holds a sign that reads, THE END]
[But the commercial changes the channel and a box that reads TOTALLY AWESOME ACME SNAX and Three turtles come out of the box wearing hats and they have canes]
CCCereal commercial, singing
Totally awesome Acme Snax, they are fun and energy packed, sugar coated sugar sacs.
Eh, stop it. [throws the remote at the TV lying down] Flipping network cuts out my famous end line for some razza-flavin' crudball commercial there. [a knock on the door] Ehh, somebody get me a peen-ball hammer. [walks to the door and opens it] Who is it?!
SSSkippy Squirrel
[glomps on his aunt into her house] Aunt Slappy!
[The screen pans to Skippy sitting on Slappy's tummy]
[to the camera] What can I do? He's my nephew. Hello, Skippy.
Hi! [hopping up and down] What happened to your TV set?
It's having a bad day. Pardon me, but you've got a little excess energy there Skippy.
Must be these totally awesome ACME Snax. Want some?
[takes out a piece of ACME Snax] Now there's a color-founding nature. [eats it, then makes silly faces, blows like a whistle, shoots out of the tree like a rocket, and tumbles down the stairs]
[Slappy goes to the kitchen, pours a whole lot of ACME Snax into the sink drain, and shreds them, causing the drain to gross out in disgust. Skippy looks up to his aunt innocently]
[pats Skippy's head] Ah, no wonder you watched that Bonkers show. That junk food's rotten your brain here.
[hopping up and down again] What'cha looking for?
I'm gonna make you some brain food. That's right, I'm gonna make you my famous walnut fig dough surprise.
[deadpan] I'm outta walnuts. Let's go visit Doug the Dog. [Skippy stops hopping in fear] We'll get his walnuts out of his old walnut tree.
Doug the Dog?! But he hates you, Aunt Slappy! He's been trying to eat you for years!
[to the audience] Thank you, Mr. Exposition.
Look, you've seen all my old cartoons, right?
I've wrestled with Walter Wolf, Sid the Squid, and Beanie the Brain-Dead Bison. This Doug guy here is nothin'.
Yeah, but those were cartoons and this is real life.
[to the audience] Don't tell him, he might crack. Look, Skippy. I've seen and done every trick in the book- [Skippy sees a large dog looming behind her] Hold it there. You're doing the old "Frozen Take" bit, which means Doug the Dog... [pulls a club out of her purse and clonks Doug without looking] ...was right behind me. Heh-heh-heh!
That's just like in Prehistoric Slappy!
That was Cave Girl Slappy 1932 directed by Pizz Peeners. Eh, but let's not be anal. Let's get some walnuts. [walks up to the walnut tree with Skippy. Doug lunges at her] Hold it! [Doug freezes; spins around] Enchiritos! Get your enchiritos here! Enchiritos, mister? [Doug takes out money with a rapid nod] Ah, you're my kind of a guy who like them extra hot! [pulls out an enchirito, revealing a dynamite, wiggles her eyebrows twice to the audience, and hands it to Doug] Here ya go, amigo. [takes the money and walks off. Doug bites the enchirito, but noticed the dynamite too late, and it explodes in front of his face, leaving his teeth fall off] What a schmutz. [picks up his teeth, and hands them to Skippy] Here. Put them under your pillow tonight. Maybe you'll get some dimes.
Great! [follows his aunt]
[A dazed Doug hits the ground with a thud]
