A character in Animaniacs
Played by Tress MacNeille
Animaniacs · 261 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Animaniacs: in 109 of its 261 quotes
Most scenes with: Yakko (98), Wakko (83), Warners (29)
[During the grenade-throwing training]
This is the grenade range. You will learn all about the standard M26-A1-F472918-A fragmentation device. Just pull the pin and throw. [Wakko pulls pin and throws it away; freaking out] Throw the grenade!
DotYou said throw the pin.
I meant pull the pin and throw the grenade!
I'm all confused. [gives the grenade to the sergeant] You do it. [walks off with his siblings]
[The sergeant fumbles with grenade, which explodes]
[Inside the plane]
Normally, parachuting is reserved for well-trained, elite troops. But in your case, I'm gonna make an exception. [chuckles; grabs the Warners and jump from the plane] Geronimo!
Sitting Bull!
By the way, we took your dirty sheets to the laundry.
What dirty sheets?
The ones you stuffed in your knapsack.
Huh? [pulls the string, and the bag opens to reveal the dirty sheets] Aaah! Ohhh! [falls down]
No starch, right?
[The sergeant crashes to the ground]
[in glorious 60fps] Don't worry, kids. It's almost over.
[The Warners land safely to the ground]
[dressed in a casual camping outfit] Come on, guys. Let's go camping. Build a campfire, make s'mores, sing songs. Come on.
[singing]
Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your ears hang low?
[Iris out, but Dot pushes it away]
Dot[spoken; last lines] Camp is okay, but these pink boots are killing me. [lets go of the iris as the cartoon ends]
[The scene takes place at the graveyard in Hamlet. Yakko plays Hamlet and Wakko plays Horatio, while Dot translates the Shakespearian language]
And now, the Warner Brothers in a scene from Shakespeare's "Hamlet", translated for those viewers who, like Yakko, have no idea what he's talking about.
[Yakko gives a stern look, and Dot, the translator, giggles. Wakko has dug up Skullhead. Yakko sees this, rushes back and snatches him from Wakko, then returns to his previous position]
Alas, poor Yorrick!
DotWhoa, check out Skullhead!
[while Wakko digs up an odd lamp and tosses away] I knew him, Horatio - a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.
DotHe was funny.
[while Wakko digs up a mummy who runs away] He hath bore me on his back a thousand times.
DotHe gave me piggy-back rides.
And now, how abhorred in my imagination it is. My gorge rises at it.
DotI'm going to blow chunks. Bleugh!
[Wakko pulls a squid out of the grave and tosses it aside]
[kisses Skullhead while Dot looks away, embarrassed, as Wakko tosses a kitchen sink] Here hung those lips I have kissed I know not how oft.
[Wakko pulls a pink 1959 Cadillac DeVille convertible out of the grave, then pushes it away]
DotWe kissed a lot - not!
Where be your jibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar?
Dot[while Wakko pulls up a large rocket] How come you're not funny now?
[Wakko must stop to rest before he's through]
Not one now to mock your own grinning... [Skullhead's jaw falls to the ground as the rocket launches] ...quite chop-fallen?
DotNo one's laughing now, and, by the way, your lower jaw's missing. [picks up the jaw from her interpreter's circle and hands it to Yakko]
[Wakko uses his shovel once more and lifts Cher out of the grave. She screams, bonks him on the head, and runs off]
[watches Cher run towards the hills] Now get you to my lady's chamber and tell her. Let her paint an inch thick. To this favour she must come. Make her laugh at that. [tosses Skullhead toward the hills]
[Skullhead runs after Cher]
DotFollow that woman and tell her, no matter how much makeup she wears, [Skullhead grabs Cher from behind] she's still going to croak and end up looking just like you, [Cher punches Skullhead] and see if she laughs.
[Wakko motions for Yakko to come to the grave]
Prithee, Horatio, tell me one thing:
Dot[jumps out of her circle and joins them] What'd you find in the hole?
Our next cartoon!
What I'm doing, you can't follow. What I've got to do you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. [Ilsa starts sobbing] Now, now. Here's looking at you, kid.
Dot[suddenly appears] Hello, Nurse!
Huh?
[Dot proceeds to kiss Bogie many times]
Cut!
[Last lines; we see the Warner Bros. Water Tower]
[offscreen] Night, Wakko.
[offscreen] Good night, Dot.
Dot[offscreen] Good night, Yakko.
[offscreen] Hey, I wonder what happened to Cappy.
[Back at the studio, Cappy's snoring. Yakko's model's head falls off]
[wakes up] Pies! We made pies. [snoring]
And now, the Warners present: the senses.
[The Warners dance as the song plays]
The sense of sight is what guides us right when we go out on walks.
The sense of smell is the way to tell that you need to change your socks.
DotThe sense of touch is what hurts so much when you bang your toe on the bed.
The sense of hearing is something good, 'cause if a tree falls in the wood, would there be a sound? You bet there would, if it landed on top your head!
Your head! If a tree lands on top of your head!
The sense of taste affects your waist.
Which makes five senses in all.
DotThere's a sixth sense, too, but it's hard to explain. It's a psychic connection inside of your brain so you can understand people like Shirley MacLaine.
Who wear crystals they bought in the mall!
The mall! Who wear crystals they bought in the mall!
And now, the other senses!
DotThere are scents you can smell like cologne from Chanel or the scents of expensive perfume.
There are scents of flowers we hope overpowers the kitty box next to your room.
There's a sense of pride you have deep down inside.
When you practice a sense of fair play.
DotThere are dollars and cents that you pay at a toll.
Or the census man who is taking a poll.
And a sense of confusion we're out of control.
And they really should take us away! Away! They really should take us away!
DotThere's a sense of humor, a sense of doom, or a sense of awe, sense of timing.
The sense of a word, a sense of absurd like trying to do all this rhyming!
DotThere's incense.
And horse sense.
And common sense, it's true.
DotSense of wonder, sense of beauty.
Sense of honor, sense of duty.
A sense of doubt, a sense of danger.
DotA sense of fear when you meet a stranger.
A sense of style, a sense of worth.
A sense of direction for knowing the earth.
A sense of dread as we're singing this song that it's starting to turn out completely all wrong and it's time that we end it because it's too long! [deep breath] 'Cause it just doesn't make any sense! Nonsense! This song doesn't make any sense!
["Video Review" song plays]
Hey, look at this store!
There's movies galore!
DotWe've seen them a thousand times over before!
And that's why our brains don't work anymore!
The Player is a movie about finding fresh new scripts, like Rambo III and Rocky V and Star Trek Number VI.
DotEva toured with Zsa Zsa and they formed a sister act, but both were Unforgiven because neither one could act.
The Hand That Rocked the Cradle once belonged to Hook, you see, but it got bored, and so it joined The Addams Family.
Amadeus was a genius, Beethoven was a dog, The Muppet Family Christmas is about a pig and frog.
DotThere was a sled named "Rosebud" and a citizen named "Kane," he rode 'til the snow was melted, now he's Singin' in the Rain.
The Princess Bride got married to the handsome Prince of Tides, which now makes her dad, The Fisher King the Father of the Bride.
And pretty soon, you'll see them all inside the TV Guide. Along with all the stars you like to see!
DotLike Hitchcock and Spielberg and Oliver Stone...
Shirley MacLaine and Sylvester Stallone...
Francis Ford Coppola, Hepburn and Tracy...
DotRobert Zemeckis and Martin Scorsese...
Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Woody Allen and Mia...
Robert DeNiro and Andy Garcia...
DotSophia Loren, Barbra Streisand, Joan Crawford...
Paul Newman, Rock Hudson, Spike Lee, Peter Lawford...
Jack Nicholson, Brando and Marilyn Monroe....And that's all the people we know!
[to Mobster henchmen] Show these kids the door!
That's okay, we can see it from here. [Mobster henchmen pick the Warners up and carry them bodily to the door] Ooh, nice door.
Faboo!
DotGreat hinges.
[Camera changes to outside the restaurant as the Warners are thrown flying out the door]
[to his siblings] Was it something we said?
So 'twas the night before Christmas and all through the house.
DotSome creatures was stirring.
Including a mouse! [points at Pinky and the Brain]
Tonight, my dear Pinky, our plan is unfurled, we'll steal Santa's sleigh and take over the world!
Brain, you're a genius, you simply astound me! [accidentally hits Brain with a sack he's carrying knocking him off the tower] Narf! Brain's going to pound me.
DotThe stockings were hung so our names clearly showed...
In hopes that old Santa would leave a wide load.
Mwah! Goodnight, everybody!
Dot[after Ralph who's dressed as Santa Claus crashes through their ceiling] He was dressed all in furs with a glaze in his eyes, 'cuz the fall knocked him silly
[dazed] Duh, happy Easter you guys!
His face how it twinkled, his dimples how merry.
DotHis cheeks were like roses.
[pointing at Ralph's stomach sticking out his shirt] His gut that was scary!
Dot[singing]
I'm cute, yes, it's true.
I really can't help it, but what can I do?
When you're cute, it just shows
With these two darling eyes and this cute little nose.
And a pretty pink dress that's adorable, yes,
And when they see my dimples then everyone says.
Aw, shoot! Isn't she cute?!
Cute, cute, oh, isn't she cute? Cute, cute!
DotI'm the one they adore.
I'm sweet and I'm cuddly and small just like Dudley but more! It's a chore!
To be constantly cute and enchanting to boot.
With my lips sticking out in a cute little pout,
Then there just is no doubt why the guys like to shout.
She's a beaut!
DotLet's face it, I'm cute!
Cute, cute, oh, baby, she's cute! Cute, cute!
DotBeing cute's a thing you can't hide.
If you look up the word in a book, there's my picture inside.
TV Guide has me on the cover.
[becoming bored] Don't you just love her?
DotI'm simply a goddess.
And isn't she modest?
DotI'm the answer to one of the questions in Trivial Pursuit for "Who's the most cute".
Cute, cute, oh, isn't she cute? Cute, cute.
DotI'm cute and I'm sweet and I'm innocent, neat, and so trusting.
If you want our opinion, this song is becoming disgusting.
Dot: I'm cute.
So what?
DotI never am vain.
She's becoming a pain in the-
DotBut I'm also real nice. I'm a doll through and through.
So big whoop-de-doo.
DotI'm sweet and adoring.
And also real boring and that's why we're snoring at you. [make gookie faces, but notices the swing is empty]
Dot[spoken; becomes increasingly mad] That's it! You've ruined my entire cute song! I am angry! I am furious! I AM ENRAGED! I HAVE HAD IT!!! [hyperventilating]
[realizes this] You're awfully cute when you're angry.
Dot[calms down] You really think so?
A babba dabba babba doo wow!
She's cute!
[At the Water Tower]
Dot[reading a book on her bed] I love reading cheap horror romance thriller novels. [begins to read]
[But the noise interrupts her reading. The noise came from Yakko and Wakko, who are playing Union Soldiers vs. Indians]
[dressed up as Indians] Fire! [shoots both arrows, and back to the Union soldiers, playing dead. They continue to laugh and play]
Dot[annoyed] Quiet! [the brothers stopped while wearing hockey uniforms] Thanks. [goes back to reading, but is still interrupted by her brothers playing pirates and Muskateers; singing] All I want is quiet, no reason to deny it, I can't take that riot, quiet! QUIET! QUIET!!! Let me clarify it, the noise, I can't defy it, I simply will not buy it. Give me quiet! QUIET! QUIET!!! [opens the top latch of the water tower, and climbs out] Not to nullify it, I just won't stand by it. It's time now to bye-bye it. I want quiet! QUIET! QUIET! [Beethoven's Sixth Symphony plays, she goes to the file to relax, but is disturbed by a cow chewing the grass, the caterpillar eating a leaf, and a cricket chirping; turning red] I said quiet! QUIET! QUIET!!! This search I can't deny it to find some peace and quiet. I'll search both low and high, it must be quiet! QUIET! QUIET!!! [goes to Scotland to read, but gets interrupted by Angus McRory's bagpipes] QUIET! [goes to France, where she enters the Notre Dame Cathedral; sighs] Such peace. Such joy. [tries to read, but the sound of the bells caused her to rip the book in half] QUIEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!! [goes to Italy, where she sits on the bench and tries to read the fixed book, but the Leaning Tower of Pisa falls over and crumbles to the ground. She goes to Africa, where the animals are roaming in the fields] I said quiet! Quiet! QUIET! [she sailed to the small island where she finds a place to read, but is interrupted by a volcano, which erupts by shooting her into the sky and splash in the ocean. Tranquil music plays. She, at last, climbs to the top of Mount Everest, looks around] Yoo-hoo! [echoes. There's no sound. At last, she can finally read; followed by silence] Hmm. Gee, it's so quiet. [shrugs, gets back to reading, but looks around some more] Too quiet. Terribly quiet. Awfully quiet. [screams loudly with an echo, but there is still no sound] I thought I wanted quiet, I thought I could apply it, but now that I have tried it. [nods] I'm sick and tired of quiet! [pulls out a radio, turns on a rock version of the theme song, and starts reading, getting used to the sound; iris out]
[holding a paper plate, with a face drawn on it in front of his own face] Guess who. [laughs]
Is it Abraham Lincoln?
[laughs] No.
DotHmm...could it be Nancy Kerrigan?
[laughs] No.
Is it a big, fat polyester dinosaur, who's the color of an international house of pancakes, with a paper plate over his face?
No. It's me, Baloney!
You're kidding!
[The cartoon opens with the mountain during the storm]
And now, Dot Warner, Slappy Squirrel and Hello Nurse in the famous witches scene from William Shakespeare's "Macbeth", interpreted by Yakko for those viewers who, like Dot, Slappy and Hello Nurse, have no idea what they're saying.
[they stop stirring their cauldron for a moment with a glare. Then they resume] Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble!
Loosely translated, that means "Aabra cadabara."
DotFillet of a fenny snake, in the cauldron boil and bake!
"Let's cook a snake!" Start with my agent.
[Wakko drops a man in a suit into the cauldron]
DotEye of newt [Wakko drops hunting dog Newt] and toe of frog, [Wakko drops Michigan J. Frog] Wool of bat [Wakko drops Batman] and tongue of dog.
[Wakko drops Buttons]
Sounds like camp food to me.
DotFor a charm of powerful trouble, like a hellbroth boil and bubble.
[yawns] "Stir until bored." Serves twelve, unless you're Rush Limbaugh; then it's an appetizer.
Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble!
"Bippety boppety boo!" Here's another fun recipe:
Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf. Witch's mummy, maw and gulf.
[Wakko drops a green dragon which is carrying Walter Wolf]
Those are the ingredients of a hot dog!
Of the ravened salt-sea shark. [Wakko drops a shark] Root of hemlock...
[Wakko comes dressed as a female cheerleader, with pom-poms]
Goooo, Hemlock!
...dig'd in the dark.
[singing] Dig'd in the dark is a gas. Baby, can ya dig it?
Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble!
"Hocus pocus." When do we eat? [flames shoot from the cauldron, then he jumps out of the interpreter's circle] Hey, what'd we come up with? Hash?
DotCorndog?
Fondue?
[Everyone looks into the cauldron and gasps]
DotBy the pricking of my thumbs, something scary this way comes!
[More flames from the cauldron. When they subside, Mr. Director is standing on the edges of the cauldron]
[singing] Oh, lady! I know a lady with high-heeled shoes and socks and panty hose! Oh, pretty lady!
[Dot whacks him over the head with a large wooden mallet. He falls into the depths of the cauldron with a scream. Slappy then drops in a stick of lighted dynamite. Dot drops in a large round bomb. Yakko puts a lid on the cauldron. Wakko runs a chain around it. Slappy affixes a lock. Everyone stands aside, backs turned, covering their ears. The cauldron blasts upward and through the roof of the cave]
[last line] Uhhhh, let's send out for pizza.
[Iris out]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Animaniacs pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
