A character in Animaniacs
Yakko
Animaniacs · 261 quotes
Most-quoted character in Animaniacs: in 144 of its 261 quotes
Most scenes with: Dot (98), Wakko (94), Warners (33)
[After the "Captain, You're a Dummy" Song]
[Moby Dick swims toward The Pequod, leaping over it]
Get Moby Dick. All hands stand to. Man the longboat!
Or woman the short boat. That way, everybody's covered.
[Captain Ahab and The Warner Siblings jump into a row boat]
Stroke.
You have a cute beard.
Stroke.
you have a wonderful voice.
Stroke.
Have you ever considered a career in radio? [they row]
Wait! Please!
Vengeance is mine at last. [splits the row boat in half, using the spear] Begone!
[sing-song voices] Oh, Captain Ahab, don't look behind you.
[turns to see Moby Dick behind him; nearly losing his balance on the front end of the row boat] Whoa - w-w-whoa. So long, Moby Dick! [throws the spear at Moby Dick]
[Moby dick catches it, uses it as a toothpick, then kicks the spear away, using his tail. Captain Ahab is now nervous]
Hey, Captain Ahab! Tell Moby all about stomping on him, and making blubber cakes and stuff out of his oil!
[Moby Dick glares angrily at Captain Ahab]
[chuckling nervously] Oh, I was just funning the youngsters about all that. I certainly wasn't serious- [swimming away for his life, scared out of his wits] Aah!
[Moby Dick chases after Captain Ahab, then eats him. Captain Ahab screams. Inside Moby Dick's mouth, Captain Ahab lights a match, then a lantern, and sits down on a broken mast]
Say, nice leg.
[Captain Ahab is puzzled
[offscreen] Get me out of here!
[Moby Dick is swimming away]
So long, Captain Ahab!
Enjoy your new home!
Don't play around Moby's blowhole! [to his siblings] Alas, we're alone, adrift on the open ocean without food, water, or facial moisturizer.
[to the viewers] That's right, kids. Always remember, a moisturized face is a happy face.
Isn't there a single ship anywhere that will take pity on us?! [sobs] Any ship will do!
[The RMS Titanic, The SS Edmund Fitzgerald, and The S.S. Minnow pull up on all sides]
[offscreen] Hey, little buddies.
We shoulda been more specific.
Little fools! I am Beelzebub! Lucifer! The Reaper of Souls! The Really Angry One! I AM SATAN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
So that's nothing! I'm: [rasping, sinister voice] Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bobesca the Third! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [normal voice] Just a little thing I do.
You blundering dolts! Don't you realize you've entered the fiery realm of Hades?!
Hades? [dashes back up to the surface, brings back a snowball, sets it down, and watches as it quicky melts] Boy, they were right! It didn't have a chance!
SILENCE! And now, prepare to suffer indescribable torment!
Another Bob Hope special?
Worse! Behold; Cerberus, the Hound of Hades! [Cerberus the three-headed dog appears] Cerberus my pet, toss these fools into the Lake of Fire. But slowly. I want to watch them wiggle in agony.
How about if we just wiggle here?
Wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle-wiggle!
Cease this at once! Cerberus, throw them in!
Wanna meet my pet? [takes out the tiny white box, opens it, and the monster comes out growling]
[Cerberus yelps in fear and runs off. Satan grabs the Warners by their tails]
Hey, does George Hamilton know your tan's better than his?
SILENCE! I don't want to hear another peep from you!
Peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-!
STOP PEEPING!
[pause] Peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep!
Ooh! [walks over to the door] Beyond these doors is an agony worse than all others. You will remain in here for eternity, listening to...whiny protest songs from the 60s.
Oh, I hate the government, more than you and me, The government stole my goldfish, and unplugged my TV.
[Warner siblings scream]
Enjoy. [prepares to kick them in, but it cuts to him being kicked in instead for no reason whatsoever]
[First lines; the Warner Siblings tunnel underground. Yakko pops up like Bugs Bunny. So is Wakko, who spits out dirt]
I know we're not rabbits, but it's a Warner tradition.
[pops out of the dirt] So this is Pennsylvania. [Wakko eats a rock] Disgusting!
Not as disgusting as Willard Scott in the leotard. [mistaking Transylvania for Pennsylvania] But according to this map, we made it! Pennsylvania, our homeland! [to Wakko] As cartoon characters, we were drawn. Ergo, Mom and Dad must've be pencils. So let's get that led out and find our family tree.
[A thunderstorm starts. A lightning bolt strikes a tree, burning it to a crisp, now turns into ashes]
Hope that wasn't it.
[The rain starts pouring. Wakko peppers another rock]
On second thought, let's start the search tomorrow. I'm tired.
[eats another rock] I'm hungry.
I'm cute. [the boys glare at her] Hey, I can't help it if I'm cute.
[to his skeleton valet] Don't wait for me. [walks with cloak wrapped around] Aah. Ignorant little travelers. It's been many years since any have come willingly to me. Who are you?
We're the Warner Brothers.
And the Warner Sister.
[to Count Dracula, as Wakko takes a pocket watch out of Count Dracula's pocket] Does Batman know you're wearing his cape, so badly?
I'm Wakko. [kisses Dracula] Did you miss me, huh?
Please. You're washing off my Old spice.
I'm Dot, but you may call me princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca, the third. Tee hee. [Count Dracula sees the blood vessels in her neck. Says Type O, unleaded 87 octane with marks. Dracula looks close, each of his hands connected] I get this from guys all the time. [Count Dracula looks closer at her neck, making it stretch] SNAP OUT OF IT!!!
Ahem. I am Count Dracula.
Didn't you used to teach math on Sesame Street?
Stop your silly chatter and enter! The night is long and I hunger for company. [the Warner Siblings dash off, leaving him on the floor. He growls, and the door slams in his face. Inside the castle, it was creepy; repeatedly bangs on the door outside and offscreen] Let me in, you little weasels!
[talking about Dracula] That guy sure dresses funny.
This is Pennsylvania, Wakko. He's probably Amish.
I'll handle him. I saw Witness twice. [He opens the door for Count Dracula. He clears his throat] Greetings, good Amish farmer. How's it going with thee? Is there a place hither where we may sleep yon?
Impudent child! You can't make a fool out of me!
[dresses up Count Dracula in a fool outfit] Well, you can't blame a guy for trying.
[takes off the fool outfit] Puny mortals! Now witness the power of the undead! [turns into a big bat as "Night on Bald Mountain" by Modest Mussorgsky plays in the background]
Neat trick!
[flying like a bat] Hey, look at me! I'm a bat too!
You are not a bat.
Oh, you're right. But this is! [whacks Count Dracula with a baseball bat with a face and wings on it, sending him falling to the floor in a Batman logo-shaped hole. Count Dracula climbs up out of the Batman logo-shaped hole, seeing bats]
Oh, I'm not well. [falls down from the high ceiling to the floor, creating the Batman logo-shaped hole. Climbs out of the hold in the human form while seeing bats in his dazed head]
Good farmer, mayest we see-eth our rooms now?
[in a dazed voice] Why, certainly. Walketh this way. [walks clumsily. The Warner Siblings imitate him]
You boys will be sleeping in the, uh, Mary Poppins suite. It's very cozy.
[A monster growls inside]
Sounds like Howard Stern.
[patting Yakko's head] Uh, yes, the plumbing is old. Now, nighty-night. [opens the door and forces Yakko and Wakko in. He comes out, locking the door] Whew. [turns to reveal Yakko and Wakko on velcro on his back]
Velcro.
[Count Dracula is about to bite Dot's neck]
Hey, whatcha doing, mister? You gonna suck her blood? Empty her tank? Turn her into one of your legion of zombie vampires who only live to do your evil bidding? Or are you gonna make out and play kissy face and hope your dad doesn't butt in and ground you? Huh? How about it, mister? [speeds off]
[Count Dracula tries again, but Dot wakes up and punches him in the jaw, then brushes his teeth. Count Dracula tries again, but Wakko, dressed as a doctor, takes his teeth out]
[wearing Count Dracula's teeth] Yoo-hoo! What do you think? Do they make me look like Sheena Easton?
[puts teeth back on] Foolish little whelp!!! NOW YOU WILL LEARN THE MEANING OF ETERNAL SLUMBER!!!
Slumber?! As in slumber party?! Let's! [the Warner Siblings dress Count Dracula up into pink clothing. He gasps] Know any dreamy guys?
Tell us!
Oh, please, please!
Let's play with makeup!
[Wakko dusts Count Dracula's face, Yakko puts on eyelid coloring and eyebrows,and Dot puts on makeup, and a bowtie. Wakko shows Count Dracula a mirror]
[screams like Homer Simpson] Get away from me, you little monsters!
Wait! We were just about to order pizza and tell ghost stories!
[opening his coffin] Peace, at last. [screams]
[coughing] Hast thou any coffin drops? [Count Dracula groans, grunts, throws The Warner Siblings away, then goes into his coffin. Yakko tries opening the lid] Hey, he's locked in.
Oh, no. He'll suffocate!
[Inside his coffin, Count Dracula sighs, until Wakko gets a chainsaw and cuts the coffin in half]
Hangeth on, kind farmer! We shall saveth thee!
[opens the halves to reveal Count Dracula cut in half] Oops. [giggles, then puts the two halves together again]
[roars, growling, cornering the Warner Siblings] Your lives here have ended!
True, mister Amish man, for we must check out. 'Tis morning! [opens the window to reveal a bright sunshine]
[whimpers] And me without my sun block! [trips back into his coffin]
[Yakko plays "Reveille" on a trumpet]
Wakey wakey! Rise and shine! [puts an alarm clock in Count Dracula's head] We'd like waffles and a big cheese wheel for breakfast.
[Wakko crows like a rooster. Count Dracula roars and debris flies. The Warner Siblings flee as the mansion collapses]
Boy. Who knew the Amish could have such explosive tempers?
[finally notices the Transylvania sign] You know, Yakko, maybe this isn't Pencil-vania after all.
[Wakko eats a rock]
You're right, Dot. We never should have taken that left turn at Kennebunkport. Come on!
[The Warner Siblings tunnel underground]]
[Last lines; he Warner Siblings tunnel underground. They pop up in Tasmania ]
Uhh. Pencil-vania, at last. Homeland of our ancestors.
[doing his trademark tornado entrance, jabbering, then blows raspberry. He screams, then tornadoes away as the "Taz-mania theme" plays in the background]
This is Tasmania, not Pennsylvania!
[Wakko eats the map]
Let's face it. We need a new map.
[after Pip suddenly leaves] It's too quiet!
I miss him!
Pip! Wait! [chasing after him] Pip! Come back! Tell us another story!
Please, tell us more about bologna!
Did you ever meet Don Knotts?!
Oh, come on! Please, do!
It's time to tour the planets that make up our solar system. C'mon! [singing]
The closest to the sun is the planet Mercury,
Next the shrouded planet Venus Is as cloudy as can be.
The Earth is next; we call it home let's hope it stays that way,
And then there's Mars; it's really red What more can I say?
The gassy planet Jupiter's as big as planets come,
Then there's Saturn with its mighty rings made up of tiny crumbs.
We travel on to Neptune, that's a gassy, freezing ball,
And cold and tiny Pluto is the furthest one of all.
[spoken] Well, there you go. That's our solar system.
[appears] You forgot Uranus.
Goodnight, everybody!
Hi. We're the Warner Brothers.
And the Warner Sister.
And we'd like to invite you and all the members of your household-
to gather around the TV set and join us now-
for a very special episode of Animaniacs.
And what's so special about it?
I'm not wearing any pants! [covers his other parts of the body with his sweater]
[Outside the Warner Bros. studio, the camera closes in on a building labeled "ANIMANIACS TEST KITCHEN" Explosion goes off inside. We look inside the building and we see the Warner siblings in the kitchen]
Welcome to the Animaniacs Test Kitchen. We're cooking up something really different for today's show. All we need are our ingredients. [singing]
A dash of Pinky and the Brain,
A cup of Slappy Squirrel,
A tablespoon of Goodfeathers,
Add Rita, Runt, then swirl.
We add a pinch of Hippoes,
Buttons and Mindy too.
Now top it off with Skippy Squirrel,
What's that make?
Animaniacs Stew!
[spoken] What did we come up with?
Just watch.
[The camera zooms into the pot]
[First lines; at the Boot Camp]
[chanting] Left, left, left, right, left. Recruits smell and that's no lie. Hate your guts gonna make you cry. Call me smart call me inspired. You're gonna march till I get tired. [spoken]I love my job.
[arrives in the car] Hey, sarge. The new recruits are here.
[grins deviously] Fresh meat. [chuckles; climbs aboard the jeeps and drives back to the camp with the soldier]
[The bus arrives, letting new recruits out. The Warner Siblings come out too]
Excuse us. pardon us. Coming through. Ah, summer camp at last! Eight weeks of fun, fun, fun!
[dressed in duck floater] Swimming and canoe racing!
Mosquitoes and bear attacks!
And not just any old camp, [gets the binoculars] boot camp!
Like Imelda Marcos, I've always adored boots. [the sergeant arrives] Hello, nurse! Hi, Mr. Camp Counselor. I'd like size three EEE boots with fringe and little pink bows on the toes, please. [wiggling her toes in the sergeant's face]
Get back in line, soldier!
[sniffs] Ew, who's P-yew?
[The sergeant giggles sheepishly]
Psst. Down here. Say, is there a girls' camp across the lake? You know. "Hello, nurse".
Fall in! [the Warners literally fall to the ground] Get up! [the Warners stand up] Now, fall in! [repeat] Get up and fall in!
[The Warners stand up and fall to the ground at the same time]
Is this part of our camp initiation? Frankly, we'd prefer the spanking machine.
Get up and get in line!
Well why didn't you say that in the first place?
[The Warners stand straight in line]
Who do you think you are?
We think, therefore we are the Warner brothers.
And the Warner sister.
[shakes hands with the sergeant] Glad to make my acquaintance.
[The sergeant's watch falls into Wakko's wrist]
[grunts] Give me that back, you little Gila monster! [takes watch]
All of it, Wakko. [Wakko gives back wallet, id cards, pen, teddy bear underwear, pink shirt, causes the sergeant to become embarrassed with a nervous smile] Excuse me, Mr. Camp Counselor, but, uh, when do we get to sing "Kumbaya"?
I am not a camp counselor! I am your drill instructor! This is the army, soldier!
[realizes] The Army?
Well, it's been fun. Gotta go.
Buh-bye.
[The Warners run off]
Get back here! [grabs them and puts them back in line] From now on, this Army will be your home. I will be your mother, father, aunt and uncle.
A family! [kiss the sergeant] Mwah!
Stop that, you - you - you - What are you, anyway?!
Infested with fleas.
[The sergeant looks at the camera]
[All the recruits, including the Warners, hold sheets and army uniforms]
I don't want to be in the Army, Yakko. What are we gonna do?!
Uhh...I'm leaning heavily toward fleeing.
[They walk outside]
To the left, right, left. Your left. To the left. To the left, right, left. I don't know but I've been told. Army life is mighty bold. Every night before retreat-
We order out for luncheon meat.
[kicks the Warners] Platoon, get back to the barracks! [the soldiers leave] As for you three, I've had it!
Good. Does that mean we can leave?
[snarky] No, Private Cute Boots. From now on, I'm training you to become agents of total destruction.
But we don't want to be mailmen. We'd rather work for a living.
DotTress MacNeille · 109 quotes
WakkoJess Harnell · 106 quotes
SlappySherri Stoner · 45 quotes
WWarners38 quotes
SkippyNathan Ruegger · 27 quotes
SDr. Scratchansniff24 quotes
BBrain17 quotes
PPinky17 quotes
NNarrator15 quotes
TPThaddeus Plotz14 quotes
RitaBernadette Peters · 11 quotes
RuntFrank Welker · 8 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Animaniacs pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.