A few days before the wedding? While I was dealing with small details that ultimately made of the most beautiful day of my life? A box of flip-flops so the girls could dance.
I was freaking out that my life was changing. I was going from being this party girl to being someone's wife. And I got drunk and [sighs] It was the biggest mistake I ever made. Can you ever forgive me?
[creepily] You'll walk into your room and there will be plastic sheets all over the floor. Before you can react, a man in a ski mask will tie you to a chair with an Indian braided belt he got on vacation in Santa Fe. He'll turn on some Huey Lewis, and then cut the damn thing out with a rusty keyhole saw. No antiseptic, no Novocaine, no nothing! Just the song "Hip to Be Square" drowning out your boyish screams.
