Steve, you cannot be seen with those losers during an election. I got you new friends.
New friends?! If you think I'm gonna abandon... [Three ripped, shirtless teen boys enter] Make sure those dorks don't sneak in through the back.
S15Railroaded
We need to spend all day tomorrow prepping, because the debates are Thursday.
Isn't today Thursday?
If you're right -- and I'm beginning to think you are -- I slept 36 hours last night.
S15Persona Assistant
Rogu! Did you make that little Ricky Spanish outfit all by yourself? That is so clever! He's clearly very advanced. Some people-- HOLY SHIT!
Oh, phew. It's not blood. That's just the polymer gel from the suit's lining that gives its...you know...alien...properties.
I see. The power of the costume infected the skin suit too, so you had to strip it off completely.
[while staring at Stan's crotch] Yeah. Yeah, sure.
RRogu
[points to Stan's crotch] Oooooooooooh.
S15One-Woman Swole
[In falsetto from shock at seeing Francine's new figure]
B-b-b-b-boner from body! Body give boner! Beautiful body give baby boner! Oh mommy!
DDoctor
Are you guys on drugs?
Very much.
Yes. An incredible amount, yes.
S15Top of the Steve
HMHeadmistress Mahoney
Enjoy your last night at Pendlingtonton. I assume you'll need the next 12 hours to pack up all your jock straps and Gold Bond.
Am I the first man you've ever met?
HMHeadmistress Mahoney
Come in, Steve.
I didn't even knock.
HMHeadmistress Mahoney
Oh, I could hear your little pecker swinging to and fro all the way down the hall. Clanging against your thighs like a church bell.
LGLatina Girl
Hola, Steve. I'm the new foreign exchange student. In less than three years, this performance will be considered offensive.
VDVan Driver
No Beatles ever!
S15The Future is Borax
[Trying to save their marriage with a balloon ride] And now our last hope is a balloon shaped like my nutsack.
You wish your nutsack was as red as this.
[Regarding their entry in the Pizza Overlord Jingles contest] For ours, I wrote the melody, and Klaus wrote the lyrics. I can't stress that enough: Klaus wrote the lyrics.
S16Stan & Francine & Connie & Ted
Nudist resort? But nude is how you have sex.
It doesn't have to be.
S16Jeff and the Dank Ass Weed Factory
TTokes
Get down from there! It's too much bass for your face!
LLarry
I need to feel the music!
[Larry climbs up to a humongous speaker, before having his face ripped off, and collapsing to death]
LSLarry's Wife
Gone, Larry. You died the way you want it! I'm crying for me, but I'm happy for you.
S17300
We got to the next round? That's amazing! I wonder what I'll wear if we make it?
You'll wear nothing.
That's kind of what I was thinking, too.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.