Chase Matthews quotes from Zoey 101

Zoey

(pulling the door) It's locked!

Chase

What d'ya mean it's locked?

Zoey

What d'ya mean what do I mean? When I say it's locked, it's locked. How many definitions of locked are there?

Chase

(on the Chase and Michael show) Would a woman make a better President of the United States than a man?

Logan

Absolutely not!

Zoey

You're an idiot!

Logan

A woman can not be President of the United States!

Zoey

Name one reason!

Logan

Because girls are too emotional! Everytime she gets a pimple, she'll cry and start a war with Switzerland!

Lola

Hey, can you turn up the music?

Chase

Yeah, sure... Hey, cool boombox!

Lola

Thanks, I just got it.

Chase

(after that, he accidentally pushs the boombox from the roof onto the ground) Was it expensive?

Lola

When I'm acting, I'm playing a role.

Chase

So, just treat biology like an acting role! You know, play the part of a girl who's really good at biology!

Lola

That's pretty smart.

Chase

Well, I'm your tutor. I'm not supposed to say stupid stuff! [Lola laughs]

Chase

See, I told you you could do it. [Lola smiles, and laughs. He picks up a flower and gives it to her] For you.

Lola

Why are you giving me a flower?

Chase

So you can take it back to your dorm and study it.

Lola

[gives it back to him] Yeah, I don't think I want to.

Chase

Why not?

Lola

There's a spider on it.

Chase

Eah! [he drops it, and starts beating it with his tennis racket. Lola laughs, then he kicks it and she laughs some more]

Chase

Okay. Photosynthesis is the process by which plants use energy from sunlight to produce sugar. Which converts into-

Lola

You wanna go out with me?

Chase

Huh. Wow, that question had almost nothing to do with photosynthesis.

Chase

Michael. Michael! MICHAEL! (he takes the earbuds out of the Gio)

Michael

You interrupted tune time!

Chase

Lola asked me out!

Michael

Well, my goodness.

Chase

Yeah.

Michael

You were RIGHT to interrupt tune time.

Chase

Dude, this is serious!

Michael

I'm being serious! Lola's hot!

Chase

So, you think I should go out with her.

Michael

Sounds like a good idea to me.

Lola

Ok, who is she?

Chase

Who is who?

Lola

The girl you like.

Chase

What makes you think I like someone?

Lola

'Cause I'm smart. So, who is she? Does she go to PCA?

Chase

Uh... no. She's... from my hometown. Back home... in my town.

Chase

Zoey! Would you rather...be stuck in an elevator for three days, or...make out with a monkey?

Zoey

Stuck in an elevator. I ain't kissing a monkey!

Chase

Baby.

Zoey

Let's see you kiss a monkey!

Chase

Bring me a monkey.

Zoey

Maybe I will!

Michael

Dude, everyone on planet Earth knows you love Zoey. The people on Neptune know it. Yeah, they're up there right now on Neptune saying: [in alien voice] Hey, did you know Chase loves Zoey? Why, yes I do, the whole galaxy knows; Nahahahaha.

Chase

You talk SO much.

Michael

The only person who doesn't know you love Zoey is Zoey. Why don't you just tell her already?

Chase

Because I don't want Zoey to know I love... [Logan walks in] brusselsprouts!

Chase

I told you, I'm not going to tell zoey I love her. I sent you a text.

Michael

No, you didn't.

Chase

Yeah, I did. See? [hands Michael his TechMate]

Michael

(nervously) Uh, you didn't send it to me.

Chase

I didn't?

Michael

No.

Chase

Then, who'd I send it to?

Michael

Z-Zoey.

Chase

(nervously) Z-Zoey?

Michael

[nods slowly]

Chase

[grabs TechMate] Zoey?! Oh my God! OH MY GOD! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, Michael. Oh my God!

(running out of the sushi bar with a fire extinguisher in one hand and a clipboard in the other) Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Kazu, your grill's on fire!

Kazu

Fire?! (He runs up the stairs. The others try to follow him until he stops them) No, stay back! Pull the fire alarm!

Michael

Where's the fire alarm?

Over there! (Zoey, Nicole, Lola, Chase, Logan, and Michael run to the fire alarm. Kazu runs up the stairs to Coach Keller)

Lola

Fire!

Logan

Oh, my goodness! (Zoey pulls a fire alarm. In the sushi bar, the fire is spreading. Morning comes, and the firefighters have put out the fire and are carrying everything out. Chase and Nicole come up to Dean Rivers and a depressed Kazu)

Chase

Morning, Kazu.

Nicole

How bad was the fire?

Zoey

Look, we all feel bad enough about the fire!

Feeling bad doesn't fill my gut with raw fish, now does it, cupcake?! I am TICKED OFF!

Chase

Have you ever thought about an anger management class?

That's it, Matthews. You just got yourself a slice of revenge pie!

Michael

Don't you think you're being a little hard on the boy?

You too, Starky! Revenge pie!

Michael

You two people are gonna lo... not win the bet.

Logan

No. You will... not win. For I... can go longer... without... invoking... the letter... after R.

Chase

Wrong. I... will win the bet... for one of you... will... talk... the bad letter... before me do. Be-before me. No need for the do.

Hey! Chase! Michael, Logan. You guys have been whispering this whole class.

Chase

I-I-I apologize.

Logan

Ha!

Chase

"Z".

Logan

Oh.

Chase

Quinn actually...tried to leave PCA?

Michael

To go...be with her....alpaca.

Lola

Okay, how long is this gonna go on?

Nicole

Yeah, will one of you use a word with "s" in it already so we can have a normal conversation?

Chase

No. I am determined to go longer than Michael and Logan without uttering that letter.

Lola

Could this be more annoying?

Nicole

No.