Chase Matthews quotes from Zoey 101

Zoey

(on the phone to Chase) Chase, you rock!

Chase

(to Michael) I rock!

Michael

You´re OK.

Zoey

Well, tell him money doesn't give him the right to push people around.

Chase

I did.

Zoey

And?

Chase

He gave me 50 bucks to shut up.

Mr. Bender

Okay! Shut up. So, why are you guys fighting?

Chase

Uh... Uh... he said... he said I have bushy hair!

Mr. Bender

Now, Chase, your hair is unusually bushy. And Michael, the bushiness of his hair is none of your business.

Logan

Or I could give you a ride, maybe we could go to the beach and make out a little.

Zoey

You know, I would, but it's so hard for a girl to kiss a guy while she's vomiting.

Chase

It's true. It happened to me once.

Logan

(to Chase) Why do you waste your time with the drama club? Why don't you go out for football or something?

Chase

Because the drama club's loaded with hot girls. And I've seen the football team. They're not hot.

Michael

I don't know. Dave, the quarterback, is a pretty handsome dude. (Chase and Logan give him weird looks) I've said too much.

Michael

Calm down. Let me ask you this, it's your play right?

Chase

Yeah, so?

Michael

So, if it's bothering you so much, then change it.

Chase

Change it?

Michael

Write a different ending.

Chase

I can get rid of the kiss! Michael, you, my friend, are a genius in short pants! (runs off)

Michael

I have my moments.

Kill? Kill?!

Chase

Yeah, see, it's actually supposed to say, "Zorka leans in to kill the lifeguard." Not kiss. It was just a complete typo. I'm always mixing up my S's and L's. Like one time I tried to write "Sassafras". I wrote "Lallafral"!

Nicole

He really is awesome?

Chase

(sarcastically) Yeah, Logan's fantastic, just fantastic. Isn't he fantastic?

Zoey

I don't see why you have to pick on him all the time. Logan's not such a bad guy.

Nicole

Ooh. She's starting to like him.

Dana

Ya think?

Chase

What?! That's insane! It's insane, right Zoey?

Zoey

Yeah, I mean...

Chase

You mean what?

Zoey

I don't know. Maybe, I do like him...

Chase

Okay. I got to go.

Zoey

Where are you going?

Chase

To take a bath. What difference does it make?

Chase

I wonder who invented the meatball.

Zoey

What do you mean invented?

Chase

Well, some guy back in the fifteenth century must have said, "Yes, meat is good, but it would be even better in ball form. And thus the meatball was born".

Quinn

Okay, so, what do I do?

Zoey

Just pretend Chase is a guy.

Chase

Uh, thanks.

Quinn

Did you know that female spiders eat their children?

Chase

Huh?

Quinn

Spiders aren't insects! They're arachnids! Did you know that elephant urine smells like licorice?

Chase

Oh, my God.

Quinn

Tell me about your first rash.

Chase

Zoey.

Zoey

Quinn.

Quinn

I'm curious. I have an extra toe. Wanna see?

Chase

MAKE IT STOP!

Quinn

Don't you guys want to see my extra toe?

No!

Quinn

Hi, Mark.

Mark

Oh, hey, Clint.

Chase

Quinn.

Quinn

Did you say, "Clint"?

Chase

He said, "Quinn."

Quinn

Who's Clint?

Chase

He meant, "Quinn".

Mark! You're on a date with HER?

Mark

No! I'm... on a date with Chase!

Chase

Um, it's true. We had a picnic.

Zoey

Sparkling juices and everything, I saw it all.

Yeah, nice try. I can't believe you did this to me, Mark! We are done! Oh-ver!

Mark

Courtney.

Quinn

Mark, I can't believe you dated me when you already have a girlfriend!

Mark

(confused) Who dated you?

Quinn

You may have movie star good looks, but I don't care about you any more! Good day, Mark!

Mark

But...

Quinn

I said "Good day"!

Chase

No more "Grass"! I can't take it!!

Coming up next... "Weeds".

Nicole

Are you sure people are going to pay money to smash a watermelon with a bat?

Zoey

Of course, boys love to smash things.

Michael

It's true!

Chase

We do enjoy the smashing!