“Rules and Regulations” quotes from You Can't Do That on Television

Well, that's our show and---

Oh, thank goodness!

"Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" will not be seen at this time because the neighborhood has been declared unsafe. In its place, we present a program made without parental guidance.

Ready, aim-- Oh, come on! Stop your shivering and get shot like a man.

I'm cold.

Oh, alright. I'll give you my coat you wimp! (places his coat on Brodie) Come on, put your hand in there. Get the other hand in there. Come on. Alright. Ready, aim... (Brodie shivers) What's the matter?

I'm still cold.

Alright, I tell you what, you go over there and get warm by the fire. (El Capitan is shot) That is one sneaky kid! (collapses)

There you are, Lisa, make an appointment with my nurse.

What is this?

Your fee.

I can't get it open.

I know. I put it in the same bottle you put my pills in. Bye! [leaves]

[still trying to get bottle open] Why you...

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Don't damage the machine!

But Blip, I just put a quarter in and it doesn't work!

Put in another quarter.

[kicking machine] It STILL doesn't work!

Don't kick the machine! I know it doesn't work. There's a new city bylaw that says you kids can't play video games anymore.

But you took my fifty cents.

The bylaw doesn't say anything about taking kids' money!

So you took my money and you did nothing in return?

What's new about that? The government does it all the time. Ask your dad. [shuffles off, laughing]

Well, that just about wraps it up for another show and---

Oh, thank goodness!

You Can't Do That On Television is protected by copyright. Who'd wanna copy it anyway?