Adam quotes from You Can't Do That on Television

Mom! What are you doing?

Oh, hello Adam. I was just washing some dirty books I found in your father's closet.

Mom, you're ruining them!

(faking concern) Oh, am I, dear?

You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? I'm going to go tell Dad.

That's a good idea, dear. While you're at it, why don't you tell him that I just finished washing the dirty books I found in your closet. Your father would probably be very pleased to know that you have similar tastes in literature.

...Okay, maybe I won't then.

Wise move.

So seeing as Doug was so stupid as to get himself slimed and ruin that beautiful uniform, he is not able to go with the rest of us to the Big Apple, New York City.

Alright! Suckers!

Ross, you insist on making us wear these ridiculous outfits and on going to boring museums, then we just won't go.

You don't have much choice, do you?

Yes, we do, Ross. Yes we do. Man is born free, but is everywhere in reins and silly uniforms. We hold these truths to be self-evident that no taxation without representation and that America will always be--

Adam, stop being revolting.

Ross, what Adam is trying to say is that you make us go to New York in these silly stupid uniforms, we will all say...

I don't...

NO!

Wasn't the way we planned it, but I guess it worked okay.

(brings out birthday cake) Okay Dougie, make a wish and blow them out!

Oh, Dougie, you missed one candle - that means you don't get your wish. However, I believe that as your mother, if I can blow out that candle, I get a wish of my very own!!! (she blows out the candle) I wish... I wish...

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!?

I got my wish! Oh Dougie, I always wished you were a little girl!

(to Doug) Hey baby, wanna go out for a night on the town?