Will & Grace · Season 3
I don't understand this. I mean, what's going on right now? What exactly are we watching?
This would be called a basketball game.
Uh huh, uh huh. And where is this all taking place?
That's Madison Square Garden.
That's a sports auditorium now?
It's the world's most famous sports arena. But I can see how that fact may have eluded you, given that your entire knowledge of sports consists of giggling every time you hear the word "balls".
[giggles] Gets me every time.
You wouldn't happen to have a breath mint, would you?
Why, yes, I do. It's in my purse.
Well, pop it! It's not doing you any good in there!
How offensive!
Honey, it's your breath, not mine.
Honey, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning?
Sumner, hi. If you're looking for your Aunt Karen, she's not here. She doesn't work on days that end with... "day."
He's my nephew, and I love him like a son of a bitch! And I mean that literally. Stan's sister's a bitch.
So, how they hangin', honey?
Well, thanks to Dr. Kipper, three inches higher. Listen. As much as I'd love to stay here sweatin' with the oldies, I'm getting a little woozy from the booze-y seeping from your enlarged pores.
Oh, honey, they're not enlarged. They're just in shock over that hair color.
[Will has just met his father's mistress]
Oh, Will, what you must be feeling! I mean, we were just talking about it, and then whoomp! There it is.
"Whoomp! There it is"? What am I supposed to say, "Who Let the Dogs Out?"
[sobbing] I feel like I'm in The Twilight Zone. And all the people are pigs. And I'm the pretty one, but everyone thinks I'm ugly because they're all pigs and they think pigs are pretty!
Hide the crucifixes. Beelzebooze is here.
Ha ha. Oh, honey. I got a fake laugh with your name all over it.
Do I smell plastic burning?
That was Candy Pruitt. That girl does love her plastic surgery. She's been to Mexico so many times for procedures, I swear if you whacked her over the head with a stick prizes would fall out.
Come on Jack, eat something. I got you this lavender cupcake.
Yeah, with rainbow sprinkles, the color of our flag.
[Grace and Larry are playing the piano]
[singing] Enough is enough, is enough, is enough, is enough, is enough...
THAT'S ENOUGH!
I'm wearing your dirty bathwater in a vial around my neck.
Okay. Time to go psycho!
We've narrowed down the identity of Jack's father. It's either one of the 11 Black brothers of New Haven, Connecticut, or Paul Lynde, the center square.
He's using my new Chantal sauté pan with a metal-edged spatula. There is no way a crêpe is ever going to slide off that again.
Wow, you are more gay before 9 a.m. than most people are all day.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Will & Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
