Jack, this isn't going to be as hard as you think. On some level, your mother has to know your gay. I mean, she has met you, right?
S2 E7Homo for the Holidays
S2 E8Terms of Employment
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you two are more than friends, but less than lovers. You're gay, and she's straight.
That's impressive. Now if you can guess my weight, you'll win a t-shirt saying, "That's really none of your business!"
[Will has just gotten a job with a client whom Grace is suing]
The only reason you were offered a job, is so that he can slither out of the lawsuit.
Of course. That ruthless bastard offered me a five-year contract, paid vacation, a huge signing bonus, all to make a dispute over slipcovers go away. How could I have been so blind?
Why do your people always go to sarcasm first?
S2 E9I Never Promised You An Olive Garden
Honey, Stan can't make it. He's having some work done on his Mercedes. Or his... kidneys... I wasn't really paying attention.
Holy hangover, Batgirl. How fun was last night?
So fun. Naomi and Kai know all the best clubs.
Yeah. Who'd have thought that after 2 a.m., Tiki Donuts becomes a Latino drag queen bar?
I forget... Is "chocolate éclair" the name of a donut or one of the performers?
Why are you screaming at me? Yech. [puts his head in the sink under running water]
[looking down her shirt] Oh, my God. When did I get my nipple pierced?
[looking down Grace's shirt] That's your earring.
[Pulling ring out] Not right. So what time are we hooking up with them tonight?
Midnight. It's gonna be wild.
This whole week has been wild.
I know. They're crazy.
They're fantastic.
I hate them.
Me, too.
S2 E10Tea and a Total Lack of Sympathy
[Will's new job is in jeopardy]
Last week I was the guy you had to have. I was the guy with heart!
That was the honeymoon period, Will. Honeymoon's over. Good times, though, right?
Ben Doucette, Karen Walker.
I know Mrs. Walker.
Oh, yeah...I remember you. Stan and I met you at the Whitney opening. You were the bartender. Yeah.
No, you just gave me your drink order.
Yeah...and I'm still waiting for it.
S2 E11Seeds of Discontent
Claire...I mentioned her a thousand times. Claire, lives in Paris, works in fashion. She was my Grace before I met Grace.
Claire...nope, doesn't ring a bell. Cla-cla-cl - I don't like her name, though. I'm going to call her...Bettina. Yay! Bettina's coming to town! It's much better.
[Grace objects to Will donating sperm to Claire]
Your sperm is like the school you don't really want to go to, but you know you can get in. You're like my safety sperm.
What, my sperm is Florida State?
S2 E12He's Come Undone
C'mon, Rosario, up. I need you to whip up a batch of Cosmos. The Bronsons came back from the party with us, and I don't like them when they're sober.
Why don't I just squeeze you like a sponge? There's enough alcohol in you to fill a hot tub.
Hi, Grace. Who's your daddy?
[confused] Um...His name is Martin Adler.
S2 E13Oh Dad, Poor Dad, He's Kept Me in the Closet and I'm So Sad
Yay, my dad's here!
Look at you, Mr. Happy Boots. I wish I got that excited about seeing my dad.
Come on, your dad's great.
Yeah, in a parallel universe where my hair is straight and so are you.
It feels like there's something missing from my life, like my soul is on empty.
You can go a lot of years on empty, honey, trust me.
S2 E14Acting Out
Homo skinny is not the same as hetero skinny. You're not in the club - you wouldn't understand.
[about Josh] He should be killed.
He happens to be the sweetest, most thoughtful, most sensitive guy I have ever gone out with. I think he's great.
He makes me wanna barf! I wanna kick him til he's dead, honey.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Will & Grace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.