Rosario Salazar quotes from Will & Grace

Rosario

Whenever my friends and I talk about who works for the craziest bitch, I always win.

Rosario

[to Karen] I'd wring your neck, but I don't want to be standing in a puddle of gin.

Karen

Hey. Hey, you're on the clock, tamale. Get to work!

Rosario

Listen, lady, I'll squash you like a wormy apple.

Karen

[suddenly emotional] Oh, Will, don't let them take my sunshine away!

Rosario

[embraces her] I love my mommy!

Rosario

Listen lady, in my country I was a schoolteacher.

Karen

Oh yeah? Well in this country, you wash my bras.

Karen

C'mon, Rosario, up. I need you to whip up a batch of Cosmos. The Bronsons came back from the party with us, and I don't like them when they're sober.

Rosario

Why don't I just squeeze you like a sponge? There's enough alcohol in you to fill a hot tub.

Karen

Finally, you're here!

Rosario

You know, if you're gonna leave me in the limo for five hours, the least you could do is crack a window.

Karen

What, and let you start yapping out at all the other maids so that they can come over and jump on the car? I don't think so.

Rosario

You better watch it, lady, because the next time you take a bath it'll be rub-a-dub-dub, I drop the blender in the tub.

Bobbi Adler

So, where are you kids going on your honeymoon?

Grace

We haven't really talked about it yet.

Oh! You should take her to your cabin.

Grace

You have a cabin?

Leo

Yeah, I go there to fish.

Grace

You fish?

Leo

Mm-hmm. I learned in Africa.

Grace

You were in Africa?

Leo

Yeah, when I was with Doctors Without Borders.

Grace

You were with Doctors Without Borders?

Rosario

Have you two met?

Karen

These muffins are specially designed to keep you regular. There are two things I will not tolerate in this house: racism and constipation!

Rosario

Yeah, you're the Rosa Parks of pooping.

Rosario

I'm not your mule!

Karen

Oh yeah? Then why did you eat that apple off my palm this morning?

Rosario

I knew that would come back to bite me on my ass.

Rosario

Miss Karen, can I stop for a minute? My back hurts.

Karen

Keep going. I didn't hear anything snap.

Rosario

This year I'm making your figgy pudding with rat poison and Ajax.

Karen

But no raisins.

Karen

Rosie, as a reward for all your hard work, I made you a nice big turkey sandwich. It's hanging from a string off the balcony. If you can grab it, it's yours!

Rosario

Great. I put a tarantula in the liquor cabinet. If you can find it, it's yours!