Two and a Half Men · Season 4
Teddy lives in Denver but he does a lot of business in L.A., so I helped him find a little pied-à-terre in Century City.
What's a "pied-à-terre"?
It's French for "a place to play hanky-panky with Grandma".
Mom!
Oh, relax, it's not gonna scar him.
Yeah, but what about us?
Look, Alan, I have no interest in hanging out with Mom's boyfriend du jour.
Why not? He seems like a great guy.
He might be the greatest guy in the world, but he'll end up like every other husband or boyfriend she's ever had. Either she'll dump him, he'll dump her, or he'll die under suspicious circumstances. No matter what, you're left standing on the curb with your fishing pole on the first day of summer vacation, waiting for a Chrysler LeBaron that never comes!
Charlie, when you get to be my age, most of your friends are either married or dead.
What's the difference?
The dead ones smell up my plane.
Unbelievable. An eighteen-second fight. Takes me longer to start peeing.
As I said, Teddy's fine, but there are some areas in which he just... doesn't measure up... to Hugo.
Oh, Mom!
It's the biggest I've ever seen. Makes it worth eating dinner at 3:30.
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