Mr. Moseby quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Zack. Cody. Where's Kumiko!

Zack

I only tell you if you promise not to get angry.

I promise.

Cody

Zack lost her at school.

Zack

I think he's angry.

How do you lose a woman!

Cody

You forget to cherish her.

Carey

Aw, and that's why your my special little man.

The Nakamori executives are expecting a brilliant japanese singer less than an hour and what am I to do?

Cody

Mom's a brilliant singer.

And there's just one problem, she's not japanese.

Esteban, good news. I have booked the Boston Ballroom Dance Competition for here at the Tipton. Now, if your school takes first place, you'll get $1,000.

Esteban

Oh, gracias, Mr. Moseby. You booked this to help me pay for my sister's quinceñiera.

No, I just wanted a trophy.

Cody, didn't I tell you to tie our food and hang it from a tree?

Cody

Since you promoted me to Koala bear, I decided to delegate it to an underbear. So I told Bob to do it.

Bob

And I told Warren to do it.

Warren

And I forgot to do it.

First we need to dig a trench around our campsite.

Warren

You mean to go potty?

Bob

I think I'm just gonna hold it in.

[to Maddie] Thought your shift was over, Madeline?

Maddie

It is. But I thought I'd stay and, uh, do a little inventory.

Couldn't resist listening in on London's book club, could you?

Maddie

I can't help it! It's just too bizarre!

Chelsea

(to the other girls in the book club) Okay, everyone, let's get the discussion started.

London

It's about time. (opens up the book) Can we talk about Paris? (closes the book) Did you guys see that hideous pink dress she wore to the Gala last night? It looked like she threw up a flamingo!

Maddie

(to Mr. Moseby) They're not even discussing the book!

And you're surprised because?

London

Girls, let's turn to real issues...what do you think of my hair?

Maddie

I'm horrified!

I think her hair looks nice. It's shiny.

Maddie

Did any of you even read the book?

Tiffany

Well, my butler was reading it to me, but my cell phone rang. It was Bradley Wiggins!

Chelsea

Oooh, he's cute!

Tiffany

I know! And he said he's thinking of dumping Allison... for me!

Those other competitors were quaint with fear when they saw me coming with Big Bula.

Zack

Was Big Bula the name of your club?

Nope. My mother. Bula Moseby. That woman is 250 pounds of fire and brimstone. And 20 pounds of coffee cake.

For future reference, just because a person is in a wheelchair doesn't mean you have to give them special treatment.

Of course. Now, why don't you just sign here for the rooms?

Whoa, partner. This is steep. Man, I can't believe you won't give a brother in a wheelchair a break.

I can't believe we got kicked out-

London

Of my own hotel. I'm calling Daddy!

Maddie

It's not your hotel. Hello, it's a set! It's make-believe.

London

Make me believe what?

Maddie

That you have a brain!

Patrick

Mr. Moseby, my podium is falling apart and I want a new one. I picked out a lovely one from Podium Emporium. It's mahogany, with a little holder for my spectacles!

Oh, it is beautiful! However, we can't afford it!

Patrick

I'm prepared to quit!

I'm prepared to replace you!

Patrick

I hate when you do that!

Patrick! The Morrocan theme is over, why are you still wearing this?

Patrick

I find these puffy pants to be delightfully roomy! I think I'm gonna wear it to work everyday, hmm, stand in the middle of the restaurant where everyone could see them are blowing in the breeze! (Grabs the side of his pants and imitates it being blowing in the wind).

(embarrased) Stop it *embarrased chuckle* Patrick, Right! What if I get you a new podium?

Patrick

And a raise.

Not gonna happen.

Patrick

I'm prepared to quit.

I'm prepared to replace you.

Patrick

Podium, it is. (They shake hands and go their separate ways.')

Madeline, the important thing is you did a good deed.

Maddie

That is true. I did save 2 lives.

London

But the Dachsund saved a cat. That's 9 lives. So they got you beat by 7.

London

So, Moseby, Which do you like better, this island with this yacht and this bathing suit, or this island with this yacht and this bathing suit?

Frankly, I don’t give a hoot.

London

Hello, oh hey, Maddie, how's camp?

Maddie

Terrible, these girls are savages, come rescue me!

London

Don't worry, I'll get the Tipton helicopter, I'll be there right away.

I'm proud of you.

London

Really?

Missing a massage to help a friend.

London

Oh, I forgot about my shiatsu. Oh, well, Maddie can wait.

Cody

Mr. Moseby, can I have a job?

Sorry, we're not hiring hooligans.