Zack quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Zack

You don't have to do everything Mr. Moseby says. We like to think of his rules more as... suggestions.

Zack

Do you think wood grows on trees?

Zack

I've learned two things today. It's that, one, you can't buy friendship; and two, city bus drivers take pity on you when you're half naked.

Zack

All right, let's see. We got jellybeans, cherry sodas and cheese product in a can. All the ingredients of romance.

Zack

I mean, this is probably the most boring hotel, in the history of boring hotels!

Cody

Oh Zack [Points to girls]

Zack

I love this hotel!

Carey

[to Cody] Are you wearing lipstick?

Zack

That's what the fight was about. I put it on him while he was taking a nap.

Carey

[to Zack] That wasn't very nice! [turns to Cody] And that's not your shade.

Carey

Zack, why are you wearing a skirt?

Zack

I did it so we could win money for bikes.

Carey

Oh, thank goodness.

Zack

First, we get you an imperial suite.

Maddie

Do you know how much they cost?

Cody

Aww, she thought we're gonna pay.

Zack

Aww, that's sweet. No, we don't pay here, baby.

Zack

Boy, if I were 5 years older, 2 feet taller.

Cody

I'd be squashed!

London

Gloss me.

Zack

Sorry, we're watching the counter for Maddie. We're not allowed to accept money, make change or touch any of the merchandise.

London

Is there anything you can do?

Cody

I can shove 12 gummy worms up my nose. You wanna see?

Zack

So, is the evil hotel inspector gone yet?

Ilsa

No, she's right here.

Zack

Whoa! What's that on your face? [Carey covers Zack's mouth.]

It's a beauty mark!

Cody

But it has a hair on it! [Carey covers Cody's mouth.]

Carey

It's a good thing I don't have triplets! I've run out of hands.

Cody

Thanks for the Red Sox tickets, Mr. Moesby!

Zack

Yeah, we know they're usually reserved for guests, so-

Ilsa

Oh! Ignores guest needs for friends?

They're not my friends.

Ilsa

Ignores guest needs for strangers?

Zack

I just wanted to say that the rat thing was not Mr. Moseby's fault. It was my fault.

Ilsa

Well, that changes things.

Zack

Really?

Ilsa

No!

Zack

Man, I never thought I'd miss Moseby.

Muriel

(about Ilsa) Yeah, she's a real witch. I'd love to vacuum off that mole!

Maddie

I've rearranged the candy counter. Now tell me, what draws your eye?

Zack

You do, sweet thang!

Maddie

Please. Some of this candy is older than you.