Moseby quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Well, most things worth getting require hard work. Which is an experience, shall I say, you have been deprived of.

London

How so?

Whenever you want something, you just call daddy and he gets it for you.

London

It's not as easy as it looks. Daddy has a lot of different phone numbers.

What happened?

Zack

Why do you always look at me?

Force of habit. What was it, the rascally elves?

Oh dear, did I just hear you say there's another new Mrs. Tipton?

London

Uh-huh.

I wish I would've known. I would have bought them an extravagant gift, although the warranties on my last two gifts lasted longer than the marriages.

Cody

We haven't even had our first meeting yet, and you're already breaking the rules?

Zack

Look, I didn't join to follow a bunch of dopey rules. I joined so I could tie knots, climb things and start campfires.

Basically, all the stuff you do in my lobby.

I talked to the zoo, and they're willing to take the baby hawk as an honored guest.

Patrick

Oh, brilliant solution. Everyone's happy.

Maddie

I know Cody, and he'll never put his baby in a cage.

Oh, well, maybe the zoo will also take the twins. Oh, happy day!

What's going on?

Cody

There's something circling the hotel. I think it's a hangglider.

Zack

Get real. It's a flying saucer.

Cody

(to Moseby) We'll report you to the TGATPPWSHA.

The what?

(trying to touch Arwin's red button on his machine that will try to stop the hawk) What's that-

Arwin

No don't touch that! Woo. I put it there to look cool.

Madeline, please. Look, a zoo isn't so bad.

Maddie

Then why aren't you living in one?

I am.

Have fun on your vacation, Madeleine.

Maddie

Fun? It's 20 degrees colder in Minnesota than it is here. Penguins go there and say: "wow, it's cold, let's leave".

London

They have talking penguins there, and you still don't want to go?

Zack

Bye, Maddie. [hugs her]

Cody

Bye, Maddie. [hugs her]

Carey

Bye, Maddie. [hugs her]

Zack

[pulling Carey away and hugging Maddie again] Bye, Maddie.

Carey

Zack, remember how we talked about people's personal space?

Zack

Yeah, and I like Maddie's space the best.

There they are!

Great news! We've sold Zack and Cody!

Marvellous! I'll get some bubble wrap, and we'll ship them off immediately!

No, we've sold a sitcom about twin boys living in a hotel, and you're all in it!

Oh! we're going to be stars!

Hooray!

No, you're not, we'll hire actors to play you.

Oh...

But you're all invited to Hollywood to be consultants on the show!

Hooray!

But you'll have to pay your own way there.

Oh...

London

We could all go in my private jet!

Hooray!

London

But we're all out of salted nuts.

Oh...

I've had enough of this silliness. I'm out of here.

Hooray!

I heard that.

Zack

Except that I didn't graduate, okay!

There's a shock! (takes back his gift and steps away)

Kurt

What are you talking about?

Zack

I faked the whole thing.

Carey

I don't, I don't understand. I mean you have a diploma...(unrolls fake diploma and sees the truth) This is a picture of a girl wearing a bikini.

Kurt

(looks at it also) Uh, she's hot! I mean...it's hot...at the beach...that's why she's wearing a bikini...

Carey

Zack, why did you do this?

Zack

Because you tried to bake a cake and Dad left his tour, and I didn't want to disappoint you guys again.

Kurt

Don't sweat it, dude, it's okay. (Carey smacks him in the gut) OOF!!! I mean, you are so in trouble!

Zack

[racing up to Moseby, to stop his plan to turn all children into adults] I'm gonna take your machine!

No, you're not.

Zack

Well, who's gonna stop me?

London, shall we get this dancing lesson started, I want you to get your money's worth.

Carey

How much is she paying you?

Three diamonds an hour.

Carey

I'm only getting two. I got robbed.

Arwin

Last year, I had a costume that scared the bejeebies out of the entire staff.

What'd you go as?

Arwin

You!

My job isn't yelling at people.

London

So you just do it for fun?

NO!