Maddie quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Maddie

Hey, guys. So, how'd the summer job hunt go?

Cody

I tell ya, it's tough to secure employment in an economic climate where interest rates are climbing and large cap stocks are fluctuating wildly.

Zack

Plus, we got turned down by Taco Schmaco.

Maddie

Well, Señor Schmaco does like employees to see over the counter.

London

Whatcha doing?

Maddie

[typing angrily] I'm composing an irate letter to Mr. Moseby in an attempt to express my inner angst and achieve emotional catharsis.

London

Whatcha doing?

Maddie

Typing.

Maddie

London, someone's at the drive-thru. Use this script to take their order.

London

[presses button] Hello. Can I take your order? [Gibberish is heard through the speaker.] Huh?

Maddie

They said they want a Cluck Muncher Meal. Press that button. Use the script!

London

[presses button and reads from script] Would you like anything else? Suggest whatever's getting cold... Oh.

Maddie

Your dad's right. It'll be good to live off the money you earn.

London

But I'll starve. Daddy's so cheap, he's only giving me $1000 for every dollar I make.

Maddie

Oh, you poor thing. My dad just installed a pay toilet.

Tiffany

Who cares? That would be like my brother dating Chelsea.

Chelsea

Oh, just because my family's yacht is smaller than yours, you think you're better than me?

Tiffany

Well... yeah!

Chelsea

And, by the way, I did date your brother. He's an idiot.

Maddie

Yikes.

London

Girls, girls, please. It's okay for rich people to hang out with other people who have less money than they do. I mean, I hang out with you guys.

Maddie

Double yikes!

Tiffany

(to London) Well, at least my daddy's not an inn keeper!

London

(gasps) How dare you! (spills her drink on Tiffany's dress) Oops.

Tiffany

Did you just purposely throw tea on my new dress?!

London

Honey, what does it matter? It's probably a knockoff anyway.

Maddie

Uh, ladies, shouldn't we get back to the book?

Tiffany

Oops.

London

I'll have you know, I'm too much of a lady to engage in your low-class behavior. Oh, who am I kidding? (hits Tiffany in the back of the head with another pie)

Chelsea

Girls, girls. It doesn't matter what you have in the bank. All that matters is what you have on your face. (hits Tiffany in the face with a pie)

Tiffany

That better be low-fat!

Chelsea

Well, let's ask London. (hits London in the face with a pie)

Oops.

Maddie

All right, I'll just be going, then!

[to Maddie] Thought your shift was over, Madeline?

Maddie

It is. But I thought I'd stay and, uh, do a little inventory.

Couldn't resist listening in on London's book club, could you?

Maddie

I can't help it! It's just too bizarre!

Chelsea

(to the other girls in the book club) Okay, everyone, let's get the discussion started.

London

It's about time. (opens up the book) Can we talk about Paris? (closes the book) Did you guys see that hideous pink dress she wore to the Gala last night? It looked like she threw up a flamingo!

Maddie

(to Mr. Moseby) They're not even discussing the book!

And you're surprised because?

London

Girls, let's turn to real issues...what do you think of my hair?

Maddie

I'm horrified!

I think her hair looks nice. It's shiny.

Maddie

Did any of you even read the book?

Tiffany

Well, my butler was reading it to me, but my cell phone rang. It was Bradley Wiggins!

Chelsea

Oooh, he's cute!

Tiffany

I know! And he said he's thinking of dumping Allison... for me!

Maddie

So what'd you think of the book?

London

I thought it was a classic tale of love and misunderstanding with beautiful scenery and compelling images with beautifully refined performances by the whole cast.

Maddie

Okay you just saw the movie.

London

I did not. I read the review. Which is reading.

Maddie

(with London's book club) I must admit I am impressed you girls read the book. So didn't you think Caroline Bingley was a total snob?

Tiffany

Yes I loved her.

Maddie

London, did you actually read Pride and Prejudice?

London

Yes.

Maddie

Well, what's the main character's name?

London

Pride?

London

Come by the ballroom later and pick out the outfits you want to wear. Get there early because Francesca will be there.

Maddie

I thought you couldn't stand her.

London

I can't. She is a horrible person. She's nasty, catty and rude.

Maddie

Well, why did you invite her?

London

Because she's one of my best friends.

Maddie

Esteban, thanks again for being my camera man.

Esteban

I prefer cinema photographer. Ok, how do you work this thing?

Maddie

You push the little red button.

Esteban

Oh. Start, aaah, stop, start, stop, start...

Maddie

Stop!

Esteban

Ok.

Maddie

Not until I say "action". Ok, London, your character is selling her wares.

London

What wares?

Maddie

Those wares.

London

Where?

Maddie

There! Your wares are there!

London

The pears? The pears are my wares?

Maddie

Ok, Lance, remember, you're rich.

Lance

Rich who?

Maddie

No, I mean you have money.

Lance

So I'm rich and my name is Rich? Cool.

Maddie

No, no. your name isn't Rich.

Lance

What's my name then?

Maddie

It doesn't matter.

Lance

Then why can't it be Rich?

Maddie

Ok, it's Rich! Look, I am trying to win a film festival here, people! Ok, Lance, you're about to enter the hotel when you see this poor girl in tattered clothing.

London

Oh, thanks for lending me your clothes, Maddie.

Maddie

Right...

London

Line please.

Maddie

No.

London

Fine. Then I'll just go look it up in my script.

Maddie

I can't find a leading lady for my movie!

London

Here's me pretending to care. (in weepy voice) what movie Maddie?

Maddie

My student film.

London

What's it about?

Maddie

Well it's about society's indifference towards the impoverished and the triumph of the spirit over a pressive socio-econimic circumstance.

London

What's it about?

Have fun on your vacation, Madeleine.

Maddie

Fun? It's 20 degrees colder in Minnesota than it is here. Penguins go there and say: "wow, it's cold, let's leave".

London

They have talking penguins there, and you still don't want to go?

Zack

Bye, Maddie. [hugs her]

Cody

Bye, Maddie. [hugs her]

Carey

Bye, Maddie. [hugs her]

Zack

[pulling Carey away and hugging Maddie again] Bye, Maddie.

Carey

Zack, remember how we talked about people's personal space?

Zack

Yeah, and I like Maddie's space the best.

There they are!

Great news! We've sold Zack and Cody!

Marvellous! I'll get some bubble wrap, and we'll ship them off immediately!

No, we've sold a sitcom about twin boys living in a hotel, and you're all in it!

Oh! we're going to be stars!

Hooray!

No, you're not, we'll hire actors to play you.

Oh...

But you're all invited to Hollywood to be consultants on the show!

Hooray!

But you'll have to pay your own way there.

Oh...

London

We could all go in my private jet!

Hooray!

London

But we're all out of salted nuts.

Oh...

I've had enough of this silliness. I'm out of here.

Hooray!

I heard that.