Maddie quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

I can't believe we got kicked out-

London

Of my own hotel. I'm calling Daddy!

Maddie

It's not your hotel. Hello, it's a set! It's make-believe.

London

Make me believe what?

Maddie

That you have a brain!

Maddie

By the way, what exactly does this "curse" do to you?

Esteban

Let's just say you will live your life in agonizing poverty.

Maddie

I get that now.

Esteban

And your skin melts off, your hair bursts into flames and your eyes pop off.

Maddie

Eww! That would so put a damper on prom!

Maddie

Give me the hat!

Esteban

Aah!

Zack

He won't hurt you!

Maddie

Not if I have the hat!

Esteban

Oh, no! Don't unwrap it! Who knows what it looks like after thousands of years! Aah, it hideous!

Carey

Come here, honey, are you okay?

Cody

Swell. I'm just a little dizzy.

Zack

Welcome back, buddy.

Cody

Welcome back? You left me wrapped up for hours. Where have you been? I thought you were coming right back to get me.

Zack

Well, we did. But the mummy we took was just a doll wrapped in gauze. It was a total fake!

How did you find out the mummy was a fake?

Maddie

It's a fake?

No.

London

Liar, liar, cargo pants on fire! This necklace is probably plastic! Here, Maddie, you can have it.

Actually, the necklace is real emerald.

London

Thanks for holding it for me, Maddie.

Carey

If the artifacts are real, why would you have a fake mummy?

Because I couldn't find the real one. I spent eight years in the jungle, living on beetles and bats' blood.

Eew.

I've found all these beautiful treasures. But nobody cares about them if I don't have some stupid mummy. It's all about the mummy... mummy, mummy, mummy!

Carey

I think he has mummy issues.

Madeline, the important thing is you did a good deed.

Maddie

That is true. I did save 2 lives.

London

But the Dachsund saved a cat. That's 9 lives. So they got you beat by 7.

London

Maddie, you know what I like about summer vacation? Not being locked up in a stuffy school until noon everyday.

Maddie

London, some of us actually come back to school after lunch.

London

And I suppose you go on Fridays, too. (laughs)

Maddie

Yeah, silly me.

London

[to Maddie] I'm spending the summer on my yacht. What are you doing?

Maddie

Working here. Oh, yeah, and when I get home, I get to help mom gut fish and apply pimple cream to my dad's hairy back.

London

Ooh, I just had a baby barf!

London

Hello, oh hey, Maddie, how's camp?

Maddie

Terrible, these girls are savages, come rescue me!

London

Don't worry, I'll get the Tipton helicopter, I'll be there right away.

I'm proud of you.

London

Really?

Missing a massage to help a friend.

London

Oh, I forgot about my shiatsu. Oh, well, Maddie can wait.

Maddie

(to London) What took you so long? Did the storm slow you down?

London

No, I added an extra 20 minutes to my massage because your call really stressed me out.

Maddie

I hate you!

London

I have the helicopter!

Maddie

Love you. Let's go!

Okay, Maddie. Are you ready to bop the top? Because remember: we're all in this together.

Maddie

Okay, you're pushing it to the limit.

Maddie

I never got a lead role when I went to Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow. Every single Christmas, I was the wise man who brought myrhh!

Zack

What is myrhh anyway?

Maddie

I don't even know, okay? The point is, I wanna get a part where I don't have to wear a beard.

Maddie

Everyone says I look exactly like Sharpay.

Really? I don't see it.

London

What are we going to do?

That's a good question. I got it. We'll do Singin In The Rain.

London

We have to learn a whole new musical. I barely know this one.

We'll do what they did in the movie Singin In The Rain. (pointing to London) You lipsing while Maddie is behind the curtain doing the actual singing.

London

That's a brilliant idea.

Maddie

What's so brilliant about it? I do all the work and you get all the credit?

London

Yeah that's the brilliant part.

London

(about Millicent) Moseby, Moseby, Nervous Maddie just passed out again! (about Nia) Cranky Maddie isn't at the counter! (sees Maddie; gasps) Hideous Hair Maddie, you're back! (hugs Maddie)

Maddie

Suddenly I miss the frozen tundra.

Maddie

[to Zack] There's a giant spider on your head!

Zack

I feel the same- wha, wha, wha, wha? Ah, get it off! Get it off! (throws the spider in the box; running while rubbing his head) Mommy! Spider! (Maddie looks at spider in the box)

Maddie

Shouldn't you tell him the spider's off his head? (Zack runs back)

Zack

Ahhh!

Cody

(to Maddie) Maybe later.

Okay, people. The best way to understand a co-worker is by stepping into their shoes.

London

But, I'm a dainty size 3, Maddie has the feet of Sasquatch!

Maddie

He means we act like someone else to see their point of view. For example, I'll be you! (imitating London) Mint me, Candy Girl! Even though you're busy, forget the other customers because I'm more important! Yay me! (claps hands)

London

(imitating Maddie) Sorry, London. I can't right now, because I have to tell you a boring story about one of my weird relatives. Do me a favor and pretend to listen, would you? While I go on, and on, and on wearing my really ugly clothes!

Nia

(imitating Maddie) Oh, and let's not forget, since I'm back from saving the penguins, I want everyone to drop what they're doing and do it the way I want it!

Millicent

(imitating Nia) And, I'm Nia. I can make you do anything I say because I'm tough and can crush you like a grape! (Nia gets mad at Millicent) I was talking about another Nia.

Nia

Uh-huh.

Carey

Ooh! I'll do Patrick! (imitating Patrick) Well, (fixes her hair) I suppose I could get you to finish dinner in time to see Carey Martin's show, but that would mean working hard. (everyone else gasps)

Arwin

(thinking he is imitating Estaban) Mr. Moseby! Mr. Moseby! Can I take something that's working perfectly well and do some conveluded thing to it until it breaks? (laughs)

Carey

Arwin, I don't think you're supposed to imitate yourself.

Arwin

Oh, I thought I was doing Esteban.

No, no, no. Esteban is more like this. (imitating Esteban) Oh, Mr. Moseby! Oh, can I have a day-off? Because, my chicken has chicken pox, and I can't feed him chicken soup, 'cause he's a chicken! Did I mention the fact that I have a chicken?

Esteban

(imitating Mr. Moseby) Oh, very well! Good luck with that! Oh, keep carrying those bags, Esteban, like a pack mule! While I sit in my office talking to my mommy!