Maddie quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Esteban

It's raining lamas and goats outside.

London

Don't you mean cats and dogs?

Esteban

[giggles] That's a silly expression. Why must all women shop so much? Uh, nine shopping bags?

London

One for every day of the week!

Maddie

I bet you also think that a woman's place is in the kitchen!

Esteban

Only after she gets back from the grocery store!

Maddie

Oh, that attitude is so typically male! I'll have you know, women are capable of doing anything!

Esteban

How about talking quietly?

Maddie

London, customers. Ok, be cool. Act like we've done this before.

London

Gotcha.

Maddie

Hello, ladies. Welcome to London's, a fabulous fashion boutique. Can I help you with something?

We're just looking. Thank you.

London

Oh, that is not for you.

Excuse me?

London

Those dresses are made for women with an hourglass figure. You're shaped like a pumpkin. And you're more like a butternut squash.

Oh!

Oh!

I have never in my life...

Maddie

I happen to love butternut squash. I love all the winter vegetables!

London

So, have we sold anything yet?

Maddie

Yes. 4 items.

London

Ooh, that's not bad.

Maddie

Considering we sold them to you and you used your employer's 100% discount on all of them, it ain't good.

Maddie

[about George Washington] He's the guy on the $1 bill.

London

They make a $1 bill?

Maddie

Give me liberty-

Cody

Or give me death!

Zack

Is there a third choice?

Maddie

Who was the 1st President of the United States?

London

Ooh ooh. I know, I know. He chopped down a cherry tree, had icky wooden teeth. Don't tell me.

Esteban

It's George Washington.

London

No, that's not it.

Maddie

I just heard the good news.

London

Yes, I just bought my 1000th pair of shoes.

Maddie

No! Your father's getting remarried!

London

You call that news?

[to London] How was your stay at the Tokyo Tipton?

London

Fantastic!

Not as fantastic as the Boston Tipton, right?

London

Actually, Daddy says the Tokyo Tipton is the best Tipton ever.

Oh, yeah? What's so great about it?

London

The lobby there was decorated according to the Asian principles of Feng Shui. I mean, you can really feel the difference in the energy flow. It went right through you.

Maddie

Are you sure you didn't just eat some bad sushi? (laughs)

London

Don't you love what I've done to the place?

(behind a wall) Don't you think people are gonna have trouble finding the check-in desk?

(wearing a large robe) I have issues with this outfit. Well, there is no place to put my wallet and I'm feeling an uncomfortable breeze!

Maddie

London, I have a little situation at the candy counter.

London

What's the situation?

Maddie

It's outside and I'm freezing to death!

London

Well, that's because you've got your summer kimono on, silly.

Maddie

Why can't I wear my old uniform?

London

Because it's in disharmony with the lobby.

Maddie

I'm not even in the lobby!

London

Boy, am I tired. I've been working all day.

Maddie

On your history paper?

London

No, I have people for that. I've been going through my old clothes. I'm getting rid of them. Oh, look. Here's the outfit I wore on the plane going to Paris last weekend. And here's the outfit I wore getting off the plane.

Maddie

I've been wearing the same socks for a week.

London

Oh, I thought that smell was seaweed cookies.

I talked to the zoo, and they're willing to take the baby hawk as an honored guest.

Patrick

Oh, brilliant solution. Everyone's happy.

Maddie

I know Cody, and he'll never put his baby in a cage.

Oh, well, maybe the zoo will also take the twins. Oh, happy day!

Maddie

Rough day at school?

Zack

Yeah and it's all Cody's fault.

Maddie

Why? Is everyone making fun of you because your twin brother is hatching an egg?

Madeline, please. Look, a zoo isn't so bad.

Maddie

Then why aren't you living in one?

I am.

London

Maddie, I really need your help.

Maddie

I can't. I'm trying to win employee of the month.

London

But I just need one little-

Maddie

(grabs London's shirt) I am trying to win a trip here! Do you know when my last vacation was?! Never! Now back away woman!

London

Maddie, I really need your help. And I won't take "no" for an answer.

Maddie

No.

London

Okay, I tried.