Nelson Muntz quotes from The Simpsons

Remember that principal we arrested for matricide?

Lisa

[gasps] Skinner killed his mother?

No, mattress-cide. He ripped the tag off his mattress.

From up here the wads look like ants.

Hey, you wanna drop pickled eggs on 'em?

Sure! [Moe hands Nelson a jar of pickled eggs to drop on people]

Yeah, Duff lets me use their blimp 'cause I buy up all the booze that the employees drown in.

Pretty sweet for a couple of scuzzes.

Yeah, it's a big world down there, kid. And when its back is turned, you can steal anything you want from it. [Looks down as Nelson continues to drop the eggs] Ooh, that egg just hit a cop's horse. Floor it, Jimmy! Floor it!

Hi, Shauna!

Um. Who are you, freak? Besides a freaky freak, you freak.

I'm Malibu Stacy. You're Malibu Stacy. I came here from Malibu Stacy Land because a rea girl who plays with me needs my help. And that's you, Shauna.

You still play with dolls?

[Scoffs] No.

It's okay to be complicated. As women, we can encompass multitudes.

Encompass my fist! [He jumps and Stacy screams, he started to punch]

Dolph

Yeah, get her!

Get out of here and leave me alone, loser! I'm so sorry. Meet me at home after school. We'll have a tea party, I love you so much.

You're not fighting me! You're fighting your fears of growing up!

All right, good night, Nelly.

Mama, could you tell me a story? How about one from the Kingdom of the Classy Ladies?

[chuckles] Another one?

Aw, please! I never get tired of their adventures.

Well, once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Muntzeena. Oh, and she loved to dance with all of her friends atop the glittery stage of...

Lord Tracksuit's Manor!

One five eve, a party of Knights of the Order of the Bachelor from the Valley of Silicon were there, tossing much gold.

Did they bring a wizard with them who could control the weather?

Oh, they sure did. And boy, oh, boy, did he make it rain.

Oh, my hero.

No, mom. You're mine.

Ah, shut up.