[The Louds and Clyde arrive at Camp Mastadon where they're staying for the summer]
Here they are! [gives his grandkids a big hug] Welcome to camp, family! Settle in!
My family and Clyde are spending the summer at Camp Mastodon. [tries to pull his orange suitcase out of the luggage only to cause it to collapse on top of him] My older sisters get to be camp counselors…
[giving his five older granddaughters their camp counselor uniforms] Here. You each get a special T-shirt that lets the kids know you're in charge! [Luna rips the sleeves off hers] Luna! That was brand new!
Dad's gonna be camp cook… Mom wants to revive The Mastadon Minute.
[reading the newspaper's headline] "New invention hits mess hall: The toaster."
The rest of us get to be campers. We're all so excited!
[Lincoln and Clyde enter the Tick bunk and meet their new bunkmates: Marshall and Iggy]
Hello, fellow Ticks! I'm Lincoln, and this is Clyde. [notices the Rip posters] Holy hardcore! You guys are Rip fans too?
[The four boys all imitate bird calls]
MMarshall
Only hardcore hardcore fans can do Rip's macaw call! Welcome to the Tick bunk. I'm Marshall. That's Iggy.
IIggy
I'm a Rip Hardcore collector. Check out my latest score: A wooden recorder that Rip whittled out of the bark from a mango tree!
LCLincoln & Clyde
[awestruck] Whoa...!
[Iggy starts playing a tune of the recorder, which sounds really bad for Marshall's reaction]
Oh, that reminds me. A present my dads gave me: [puts it on the nearby dresser] Rip's Tips of the Day mini-calendar!
MMarshall
[flips the calendar open to the current month] Check out today's tip: "You can make a sail out of underpants."
Does it specify whether that's boxers or briefs? Ah, doesn't matter… I'm wearing both!
Fellow Puffins, cease with the racket! I just received electronic mail from our counselor, Lydia. Come gather. [Darcy and three Puffin camper girls gather around; reading Lydia's message] "Hey, Puffin girlies! Just got my wisdom teeth out. Thanks for the heads-up, Lisa." [to the girls] I told her they appeared impacted. [continues reading] "Doctor says swelling should go down soon. Sent a pic." [Darcy and the three camper girls gasp in shock at Lydia's cheeks swollen and her mouth drooling after her wisdom teeth removal surgery; finishes reading] "Won't be back this summer. Frowny face. But your new counselor should be there in…"
Lynn, are you lost again? The mess hall's 2 cabins over.
[to Lisa] Let's see some hustle, Loud.
Pass. [relaxes on the bed] These short legs are not meant for hustle. I'll be in my bed reading. [pulls out a magazine] Gotta catch up on "Unpopular Science". I hear February's fungi issue is a page turner.
[tosses the magazine] Come on, I've got an epic day planned. We're gonna hike, swim, climb.
And I shall be doing none of those. [sighs] I thought Lydia would have briefed you. Between the viral germs, poison oak, lake fungus and the 0.0002% chance of a cicada tornado there's just too much risk for me to leave this cabin.
A 0.0002% chance? That's like, uh, 99% not gonna happen and like 50% not even real.
Yeah, that's not how percentages work, dear sibling. [jumps down] You can be on your side here. [ushers Lynn to the door] I'll be fine.
I'm not taking no for an unimportant answer. As your counsellor, and your favorite sister, I don't want you missing out on any of the fun! Give me one day to prove all of your favorite fears are bogus!
[closes the window; sighs] I foresee your can-do spirit not letting this go so, um, fine. But if you're wrong, may I just say "I told you so", or write a dissertation on it?
"Hey, Lori. How's it going with your campers?"
Oh. Literally fantastic. Pretty sure they already love me. [flips her hair, not noticing two wieners landing in it and cluelessly goes to her table; hears what her girls really think of her as she goes to the table]
SSasha
Wow, Lori is obsessed with rules.
JJen
Right? [groans] She's so uncool.
[drops her tray in shock, having to be called that, then crouches down to pick up her food as her campers notice her] What? I am not like that at all. Well, I'll just have to show them how cool I really am.
[Royal Woods Middle School; The students are celebrating Grandparents' Day with their grandparents]
[holding a tray of pancakes with onions and wild boar; to the viewers] Today is Grandparents' Day at my school, which is why my Gran-Gran is here!
Ooh, Chef Pat, the pancakes look delicious. I'll take a whole stack.
Enjoy. [gives her a stack] These are my Grandma Chef Pat's famous wild boar pancakes. In honor of Grandparents' Day, I'm making all of her recipes!
[Leni and Miguel are watching Lori and Bobby from outside the house; They hug and smile as they hold hands before leaving in opposite directions]
Quick, she's coming! Act natural!
[Lori arrives inside the house and sighs deeply, then sees Leni and Miguel on the couch reading a magazine together that is upside down]
Guys, I have some news... Bobby and I have decided to break up.
[throws the magazine over the couch, shocked] O-M-GOSH, WHAT?!
[shocked as well] Girl, stop lying!
It was a tough decision. We've been together for so long and still care about each other so much. But we both agreed that we could use some time apart, find ourselves and who knows what the future holds?
[approaches her] Sister hug?
[Lori agrees, and they hug]
Thanks, Leni, I needed that. [starts walking towards the front door, then stops] It might take some time, but I'll be okay. [leaves, closing the door behind her]
Wow. The end of Blobby, but it's a new Bliginning!
Ah, that would be a great name for the show.
[walking out of the house; to the viewers] It's my favorite day of the week: Shelby Saturday! That's when my cousin Shelby comes to hang out while Uncle Lance and Aunt Sharon check in their new gym in Royal Woods.
[Lance's truck pulls over and runs over the Loud family's mailbox; The door opens, and Shelby comes out with a scooter]
[off-screen] Have fun! We'll see you this afternoon!
Yikes. I overheard. [kneels down to comfort Lynn] I'm sorry, LJ. You okay?
I don't understand what went wrong. I was just trying to make their lives better, but it's like they don't even want six-pack abs.
Well, I think that's the problem. Six-pack abs are your goal, not theirs. Look, not everyone is gonna a tri-athlete like you and me, but getting to exercise, even a little, is a big win.
Yeah, but I made them hate it.
[sadly exits Vanzilla and knocks on the front door of Clyde's house; Clyde answers the door] Happy Birthday, Clyde.
Whoa! What's with the mud and the look of shame? Are you okay?
It's a long story. [fade to nighttime; finishing telling Clyde everything that happened] But I forgot the lamp was in there, and it leaked all over my phone and destroyed the message! So I got you nothing. I'm really sorry, buddy.
Flo, wait. There isn't a thief at Sunset Canyon.
[sighs in shame] Spike ate Honker's nose.
He must've gotten out of his cage while you were baking and, I just… didn't want to ruin a good thing. You both seem so happy.
FFlo
[coldly] Lana, I want you out of my room.
FFlo
Now! And take that hedgehog with you.
[sadly takes Spike out of the cage and exits the room] Look, Flo, I know animals can be messy, peeing in your shoes, and chew stuff up, but the love you get from them is so worth it. Francis spent his whole like making people happy. Don't you think he'd want the same for you?
[Flo turns away her from with a grumpy look; After Lana leaves, she looks at the photo of her and Francis from their wedding]
FFlo
Lana, wait up! You're right. I've been so shut off since Francis left and afraid to let anyone in. But you and Spike showed me that opening up is worth it. [as Lana gives Spike back to her] There's still love to be found, even between two prickly folks. Right, buddy? [Spike growls softly; growls in return, then giggles]
[in unison] Dad, meet my new girlfriend.
[in unison] Mom, meet my new boyfriend.
AAnnette
[crossly] Rodney.
[They get into each other's faces and growl with bloodshot eyes]
[confused] You guys know each other?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, believe me, I know the owner of Garb 4 Guys. The rat who spread rumors that the pants I sell cause severe chafing!
AAnnette
Ha, says the weasel owner of Duds for Dudes who told everybody my socks overstretch! It'll be a cold day in Haberdashery before my daughter dates your son!
Well, I'd rather spit on my spats than let my son date your daughter!
But Amber and I made plans to go to Jean Juan's on Valentine's Day!
RARodney & Annette
Over my dead cufflinks!
