Lola quotes from The Loud House

Lynn Sr.

Rita? Whose RV is this?

Rita

Ours! At least for the summer. Earlier today, I was in Jesse's office at the Gazette.

[on the phone] Here's the cover story, Linda: Travel writer does column about manure farms in Michigan. Editor Jesse Hiller, furious! Nobody wants to read about cow doo-doo over their morning coffee. Well, I've just been handed this news update: YOU'RE FIRED! [angrily hangs up] Oh, what am I gonna do, Rita? Wanted: Someone to write our summer travel column. Someone willing to hit the road, zigzagging the country in an RV, all expenses paid, willing to start extra, extra soon!

So does this mean…?

Rita

Yep, and she's letting me write the column! What do you say? You folks up for a summer-long adventure?

Finally, I'll escape this fourth-rate town!

[overhearing Lincoln, realizing he stole the Mummy's cursed ring and cursed the family] MOM! Lincoln stole a ring from the Mystic Mummy of Mystery and cursed our family!

Luna

Oh, come on!

Lori

Seriously?!

Way to go, Lincoln!

Bad Lincoln!

Not to mention the ring is tacky. [lightning strikes close to where she's standing] Sorry, Mr. Mystic Mummy of Mystery, sir!

Folks, I'm sorry. It was a honest mistake. Can't I just put it back?

Unfortunately, no. According to my spell book, once you put the ring on, you activated the curse.

Lynn Sr.

[dismayed] Well, that's just great! I guess we're cursed for life for now! Check that off the old bucket list!

Not necessarily. According to this, there is one way to lift the curse. We'll be able to make an offering to the spirit of the mummy cuz we wanna make an offering to the spirit of the mummy. But we'll gather ingredients for a potion first cuz we want to gather ingredients for a potion first.

Rita

I'm sorry. We do not need to have many times for that. We need to get to that barrel race. That mummy is just gonna wait. [tries to head back to Camperzilla, reaches for the door, but lightning strikes, knocking her back on her back] Okay, offering it is.

Rita

It's amazing that Jesse got us VIP tour passes to the White House! Are you kids excited back there?

I know I am! I read that the White House has its own bowling-alley.

I hear there's a whole room devoted to ice cream sundaes.

I can't wait to see the dresses worn by all the First Ladies.

Lynn Sr.

I'm excited to take a real peek at that kitchen. I bet they have wooden spatulas dating back to the 1800s. Oh, I can just imagine all the splinters I'm gonna get!

And that concludes our own tour. I'm surprised. I expected you to be trouble, but you were all well-behaved. Eh, too bad for me. I didn't get to let the dog out. [snarls at the Louds again in bulldog mode] Alright, please make your way to the White House exit. [leaves]

That is one strange little man.

Rita

Kids, I'm sorry you didn't get the tour you hoped for, but I'm proud of you for being very good. Now, who wants to hit the hotel pool?

Wait! We can't leave. There's one little problem. [Flashback to her in the Presidential Bowling Room, she accidentally tosses a bowling ball so hard, it breaks the wooden floor of a bowling lane and gasps in horror]

Actually, two little problems. [Flashback to her in the sundae room, she accidentally breaks off the handle of the ice cream dispenser, causing the ice cream to overflow]

Make that three little problems? [chuckles sheepishly; Flashback to her in the First Ladies' Boutique, she struts all over the floor, then trips, accidentally ripping the dress's bottom half off and gasps in horror]

Rita

[shocked and angry at all] Seriously?! I can't believe three of you!

Luna

Uh, make that four. [Flashback to her in the Presidential Music Room, she tries to rock out with a golden guitar and accidentally snaps off one of the strings]

Five. [Flashback to him in the President's office, he spins around in the president's swivel chair, accidentally spinning out of another whole control and hits a bust of Abraham Lincoln, trying to cause it to fall onto the ground and break into pieces, and gulps in horror]

Rita

Kids, how could you?! Your own favorite father and I are very disappointed, aren't we, honey?

Lynn Sr.

Uh… [sheepishly chuckles] Well, um… [Flashback to him in the kitchen, humming a tune as he plays with a spatula, then accidentally flings it into the president's birthday cake, which collapses]

Rita

[sharped] Lynn!

Lynn Sr.

You'll just enjoy plenty of times to yell at me later, Rita, before the Bulldog tries to track us down and sends us to the dungeon forever!

He's not gonna do that cuz he doesn't wanna let us sneak back in and fix everything before he notices.

[to the viewers while playing video games with Lana] You know, I'm really getting used to life on the whole road. Living with the bare essentials isn't very bad.

You said it.

Lori

[relaxing her favorite body and her on a massage chair; voice vibrating] RV living is literally the life for us. [Camperzilla suddenly comes to a halt; notices] Why're we stopping?

Rita

Very exciting news. For my next piece in the travel series, we are going to check out the beauty of the Rocky Mountains here in Colorado cuz we want to check out the beauty of the Rocky Mountains here in Colorado.

Cool.

Definitely rocky.

Luna

Sweet.

Rita

[pulls the blinds again after Lori shuts them] No, I meant we're going outside for an invigorating 10-mile hike! You folks love it!

Nah.

Luna

I'm good.

You folks have fun.

Lynn Sr.

[enters, wearing Lincoln's blue convincing suit, that's too tight for him; strained] Come on, fam.

Hmm… Is that my convincing suit?

Rita

That tour will be great for my article on Hollywood Hot-spots.

Lori

This was literally my fave part of the tour. [she shows Luan a picture on her phone of Lynn Sr. holding what looks like an umbrella, only for a mechanical shark to bite him in the bottom; She, Luna, Luan, Lucy, and Lana all laugh at their father's misfortune]

Lynn Sr.

[showing the back of his trousers] Boy, that shark sure was cheeky. [smiles amusingly]

Luan

[giggles] It must have thought you were a rump roast. [Luan, Luna, Lynn Sr., Rita, Lori, Lucy, and Lana laugh at Luan's joke]

If anyone asks, we're not together.

Rita

Okay, kids, listen up. This is the last stop of our summer road trip and we like to enjoy the other day getting packed. [goes over her notepad] Lunch at Goddess Greens, Great Lakes City Tower, and a concert series in the park.

Sweet! When do we need to see the Casagrandes? I can't wait for myself to tell Ronnie Anne about our favorite trips.

Lori

[answers her phone as it starts to ring; excitedly] Hey, Boo-Boo Bear! Guess where I am?

Rita

[swipes Lori's phone out of her hand] Literally Mount Rushmore! [imitates signal breaking] Losing reception, babe! Call you later!

Lori

Mom, what was that?!

Rita

Um… We do love to visit the Casagrandes. But my last travel piece for the Gazette is due tonight, and we need to hit all of these places. There's just no time to stop by.

Lynn Sr.

Yeah, if we want to get everything on your Mom's list done, they can't remember we're here. We'll just visit them another time, okay, kiddos?

Luna

I guess so. Plus, I don't wanna miss that concert.

And I want a glamor shot from the top of the GLC Tower, looking down at all of the other little people.

Lori

[unsure] I don't know, you folks. I feel weird about this.

[in his birdcage; squawks] This is embarrassing! I don't need a babysitter! I'm a big bird!

A big bird who gets into big trouble. I'm sorry, but we can't take you to Carlos' lecture today and have you behave like you did at the last one.

And now, a rare Mesoamerican bowl that dates back to 1519. It's the only one of its kind left in the world.

A little privacy, please?!

[gasps in shock] Sergio, what are you doing?! Shoo! [Sergio flies out of the auditorium, causing the bowl to wobble and splash water and soap into his face] AH! Soap in my eye! [accidentally knocks over the bowl and gasps]

[laughing about the incident before Rosa glares at him as they walk up to the front door] What? It was funny when Dad started crying. [Rosa continues glaring at him] Uh, I mean, shame on you, Sergio!

Lynn Sr.

[opens the door; happily] Rosa, Carl, Sergio! Please, come in!

Gracias, and thank you for watching Sergio tonight.

Rita

Oh, it's our pleasure.

[sees Lola sitting on the sofa] Lola! My favorite Loud. Is that a new crown? It really brings out…

[cutting him off] Cut to the chase, Casagrande.

[groans] My dad's lectures are dullsville, and I can't sit through another if Sergio isn't gonna be there to wreck it.

Hmm. Sounds like a you problem… [Carl offers her some cash] that, I might be able to help with.

[firmly] Okay, Sergio, you'd better be on your best behavior with the Louds. If you pull any of your usual stunts, I'm sending you to bird boot camp. [Sergio gulps and whimpers worriedly; later, back in the van, waves goodbye] Thanks again! We'll pick him up tomorrow morning. [drives off as Rita, holding Sergio in his cage, and Lynn Sr. wave farewell… only to come to a stop and come back, holding out Lola, disguised as Carl] Nice try, Lola. Carl would never call the van seats "tacky." He doesn't even know what that means.

Carl, it didn't work!

[comes out, disguised as Lola] Worth a shot. [as they walk up to each other, he demands her a refund]

Sorry. No refunds or exchanges.

Rita

Hey, Sergio. [lets him out of his cage] The other pets are waiting for you out by Charles' doghouse.

[squawks] Sergio has arrived! So, what's the plan? What are we doing for fun today? [the Loud pets take out some playing cards and play a game of Old Maid] Ugh, Old Maid? [squawks] You call that fun? Ugh, no thank you.

Lynn Sr.

[answers the door] Oh, hi, Candace. [calling out] Lily, Ingrid's mommy is here!

Thanks for having Ingrid over. Lily is welcome at our place anytime. [leaves and gets into their car; to her daughter] Did you have fun, sweetie?

Yep, yep! [as her mother puts her in the booster seat] Look, look, look! Look what I got! [pulls Eunice out her backpack] I'm gonna name her Princess Cotton Candy!

How about you take your new friend to the grocery store with us?

[frantically after the car drives off] No, no, no, no, no! She take Eunice! [fearfully imagines what would Lola find out if she returns home]

[with her face turning red of rage] LILY!!! [roars lividly with a blast of fire from her mouth, which strongly blasts the roof open]

[walking up to each other's faces] What're you doing here?! I asked you first! DAD!

Don't be mad at Gramps. This was our idea. We hope you might only come if your favorite brother weren't.

It's another time two of you bury the spatula once and for all. What do you say?

Lynn Sr.

Okay. Everyone in the van!

Yeah! We're going back home, too!

Luan

Wait. Two of you need to stay. Consider it an early Christmas present to us.

Um, that may not become one of mine if not. [looks at her twin]

Honey, it's Christmas Eve. Remember our own mantra.

I am strong here. [point to Lance's bicep] I am strong here. [try to point to their heads] And I'm strong here. [try to point to his heart]

[inhaling calmly] Fine, but I'm not happy about it.

Lynn Sr.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm happy about it.

Rita

[fed up] Great. You're unhappy. At least you need to have that in common.

[also fed up as Rita walks up to her] Oh, well.

Rita

So they haven't just changed, but it's good to see you! [she and Sharon hug]

You, too!

Okay, it's going about as well as I expected. Now for Phase Two: Family Christmas Activities. Once our favorite dads get in the holiday spirit, they'll totally just forget about their favorite fights.

Never underestimate the power of Christmas.

[whispers to his siblings] Guys, this is the worst.

The fighting or the tofu gravy?

Hey-o! I need someone to help me with the deadlift set before my pre-workout wears off. Can one of you spot me?

Actually, you can spot me...leaving this conversation. [walks off]

How 'bout it, Luan? [Luan shows her arm muscle drooping, trying to mime in denial; misunderstanding] You need to build up those noodle arms? Ah, couldn't agree more. Let's do this!

My future is terrible! I'm not really on the team! I'm Crikey's personal sweat wiper!

Don't worry. It's possible my crystal ball isn't accurate.

[carrying a big trophy] That glass ball is 100% accurate, Lucy! I did end up winning the pageant after everyone else got food poisoning. Thanks again for the reading. [walks off to her room, next door]

Told you! My future is gonna be messed up for sure! I bet this is all because I missed practice today for that dentist appointment! Who cares about plaque anyway?!

Rita

Don't panic. This isn't necessarily your future. It's always evolving.

Darn straight! I'm gonna make sure it evolves the way I want it to. Time to start practicing.

Sorry your "boyfriend" from Switzerland hasn't arrived yet.

Henrik is not my boyfriend, Lola. We're still getting to know each other. And since he and his parents are touring the states, we thought it'd be fun to hang out. He should be here by now!

What the heck are you guys doing here?!

Leni

I heard what Lori said last night about the recessed lighting, and knew I had to record my totes important makeup tutorial here. But then, I heard someone coming!

And I heard Lori say how big the sink was and thought I could save some time and give all the pets a bath at once. [bathes Charles, Cliff, Walt, Geo and El Diablo at the same time] Then I heard someone coming!

Well, I'm here 'cause Lori said she had a zillion cable channels, and there's a super important game today.

Leni

I can't believe the three of us all had the same idea!

[falling from the ceiling and lands on the ground; weakly] Four of us. [gets up] I have the Little Miss Common Relax Pageant today, and I'm anything but! I heard Lori mention the incredible water pressure in her shower and thought it would help me relax. Then, I heard someone coming!

Okay. Now it all makes sense.

So what do we need do now?

Leni

Respect Lori's privacy and leave?

Oh, well, let's not be hasty. I mean, we all have a special reason to be here today, so we might as well stay. But just for today. And then we'll never disrespect Lori's privacy again.

Leni

Deal.

Agreed.

One and done.