Scenes with Leni 78
[as his sisters furiously rat out at him] Wait, wait, wait! Let me explain!
[enraged] You've got exactly three seconds before we pulverize you!
[Lynn cracks her knuckles, preparing to pulverize Lincoln and Lisa starts her timer]
There was this video contest at school and I really wanted to win!
[incredibly outraged] You showed my sleep face for some stupid CONTEST?!
I just wanted a trophy to put in the case like you guys!
[firmly] You think you deserve a trophy for that, bro?!
No. I don't deserve it. Look! I'll delete the video!
Too late, Lincoln. The damage has already been done.
You made me look like a fool!
You made me look like a freak.
You made me look like I fart! And for the record, it was these shoes! See? [tries to make farting noise but fails] Of course it's not working now.
[Lincoln's sisters walk upstairs to their rooms as Lincoln chases after them]
Lori, I'm sorry! Wait! Luna, let me explain!
Can't hear you, bro! [closes her door]
You literally disgust me!
LeniYeah! [bumps her head as Lori pulls her in]
You're uninvited to my birthday party FOREVER!
[She slams the door, then Lana opens the door and he thinks she forgives him]
I wanna slam it, too! [slams the door]
Lisa! Lisa? [A note slides outside Lisa's door, and Lincoln reads it] "Vengeance shall be mine." [shudders and moves to the next door] Guys, come on! I'm your brother!
[Lynn growls and walks away]
I have no brother! I know I say that a lot, but this time I mean it. [slams door]
Well, if that's the best seat, then I should get it. I'm the oldest.
You'd just barf all over it, dude! I should have it!
Yeah! So I should get it!
Leni
NO, I WANT IT!
You can yell all you want, but I'm already in the seat, and possession is 9/10 of the law.
You're gonna possess a bruise in a minute!
[The sisters glare at Lincoln, really angry]
CCop
No, she did not! She did, however, refuse to obey the speed limit, fail to use her turn signals, and she redirected the test vehicle toward the mall, where she proceeded to hip-check and tackle Mrs. Jelinsky! [Mrs. Jelinsky is yelling at Leni]
Leni
It's not fair! When I did all that in the game, I won! You guys need to get your rules straight!
In this house, we call her the Queen of...
NO! NO MUSIC! [unplugs Luna's axe] NO MUD PIES! [Trashes Lana's mud pie] NO-
Leni
Way! That's totes cray cray!
[grabs the phone] NO PHONE CALLS! AND NO VIDEO GAMES! [grabs Lincoln's game]
[whistle blows] At ease. Just kidding! NOBODY IS TO BE AT EASE IN MY PRESENCE! As you know, Mom and Dad left me in charge. That means you have to do as I say, whether you're tall, short, or covered in fur and can only understand the word "sit"! Now, here is our schedule for this evening. 6:00 to 7:00: Sitting on bed with arms folded. 7:00 to 7:30: Chow. 7:30 to 8:00: Thorough cleaning of mess hall. 8:00: Staring at wall until falling asleep. Everyone got that?
LKLoud kids
MA'AM, YES, MA'AM!
[glares at Lana] DISMISSED!
Maybe not so perfect. [puts it back and finds an individual one] Oh! Paradise for One. Just imagine... [imagines himself in a pool on a small island in the middle of the ocean] Now this is a pool I can really get into. [heads for the exit] Lincoln's little baby loves shortenin', short- [triggers the alarm] Oops. Gotta pay first.
[At the Loud House, the sisters are trying to cool off with the contents from the freezer. Lincoln tries to hide his pool kit.]
Leni
"Hey, Linc! Wanna chill with us?"
"CHILL! Good one, Leni!" [giggles]
Leni
"Good what?"
"Thanks, but I don't mind the heat." [The sisters are confused] "But, uh, you guys keep cool in here. Definitely no reason to go outside. I wouldn't even bother looking out there. Am I talking too much? I feel like I'm talking too much." [Leaves]
"He's clearing suffering the first symptoms of heat stroke. Now, pass the frozen succotash."
[Lynn tosses her the succotash. Lincoln sneaks in the backyard while the sisters are cooling off.]
"Scoot over. You're melting the broccoli."
"Well, stop breathing on the frozen carrots!"
"Hey, Lynn, can you grab that bag of peas? PEAS and thank you!" [giggles while her siblings groan]
[Breathing heavily] "Whew!"
[Lisa pours the serum anyway and the water evaporates, it turns into pink smoke; It's revealed that the older sisters have tinkled in the pool. They blush except Lisa and Lincoln.]
"Hmm... Unprecedented levels."
[Lincoln washes the pool and refills it while his sisters watch and the party continues; Luan and Leni are playing Marco Polo]
Leni
"MARCO!"
"No, Leni. I'm Marco. You're Polo."
Leni
"Really, who's Leni?"
[Lily is about to go skinny dipping again]
"Oh no no no no no!" [grabs her and puts her in a diaper.] "No fecal incidents in my pool! I'm watching you, Lily." [sees Lucy floating] "Lucy? I didn't know you liked to swim."
"I'm not swimming. I'm trying to see if I'm a witch. Am I floating?"
[chases Lily] "Get back here!"
"You know what your soup needs? NOODLES!" [Bonks Lana with a pool noodle]
"What about elephant play?" [blasts Lincoln with a jet of water while sounding like an elephant, which makes Lana, Lynn, and Lola laugh at Lincoln.]
[flies right into Bobby] "Huh? Bobby? What're you doing here?"
"Lori said there was an opening for a lifeguard at Casa Loud." [Blows whistle] "Everyone out! Senior swim!"
"What? There aren't any old people here!"
[The sisters and Bobby are hanging out front with the Delux swimming pool Lincoln originally planned to get. Luna is playing a steel drum. Lori is taking pictures of her darling lifeguard.]
"Oh, that's fierce, babe."
[knocks Lynn in the water] "Have at thee! HA!"
"Just because I'm fabulous doesn't mean I can't have fun!" [slides down and swims] "La-la-la, la-la-la!"
[Lucy and Lily apply sunscreen on each other. Leni and Luan play Marco Polo again.]
"Okay, this time, instead of Marco Polo, why don't we just use our REAL names?"
Leni
"Okay! So I'm..." [looks at her brother, surprised] "Lincoln?"
"Boy, you really don't get this game at all, do ya?" [Notices what Leni meant] "Oh! Hey, Linc!"
[The sisters look happy to see him.]
[Aware of what's going on] "Hey, guys...what's all this?"
"Well, little bro, you had such a good idea in buying YOUR pool, we decided to-"
"-POOL our money to get this one!!!" [Giggles and everyone groans. Luan gets bonked by Lynn's noodle] "That's using your noodle!!" [Giggles some more] "Ow!"
Leni
"Aren't you gonna get in? There's TOTES room for one more!"
"You're gonna let me use your pool?" [The sisters are concerned] "Even though I kicked you out of mine?"
"Well, he was kind of a meanie."
"Not to mention selfish."
"And he stole my whistle!"
"But that doesn't mean he can't use our pool."
"Why should you get her? I've literally been waiting 17 years for someone in this family who likes the things I like!"
Leni
[off-screen] "HELP!"
[Lincoln and Lori rush into Lily's bedroom where Leni is stuck in Lily's crib]
Leni
"Oh, thank goodness. I got in here to show Lily my fashion magazine, but now, I can't get out of this baby prison!" [cries]
[Lori and Lincoln help Leni out of Lily's crib]
Leni
"Agoo!"
[Lily is having a tea party with Lola and Lana]
"More tea, Lady Lillington?" [Lily removes a tiara that Lola placed on her head]
She doesn't wanna have a dumb tea party. She wants to play with Izzy! [Puts Izzy on Lily's head. They then start to pull Lily by her arms, which discomforts her]
Dudes, give her back! We were in the middle of a jam sesh!
We were talking to Great-Grandma Harriet.
We were getting ready to take our show on the road!
Leni
We were gonna look at my magazines!
We were watching Dylan's date!
BT-dubs, Lori, Great-Grandma Harriet knows you re-gifted her brooch, and she is not happy about it. [Lori instantly looks regretful]
LLLola and Lana
GIVE US BACK, LILY!
[The other girls fight over Lily until Lincoln comes in and grabs her]
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!
[Lincoln tries to escape with Lily, but Lori stops him dead in his tracks]
I'll take that. [grabs Lily and runs]
Oh, no, you don't! [gets Lily back from Lori but crashes into Luan who switched Lily out with Mr. Coconuts]
Whoops. Sorry, Linc! Sorry, you loser! [laughs but loses Lily to Leni]
Leni
Ha! Na-na-na, na-na-na! [loses Lily to Lisa while she's gloating at Luan] LILY'S INVISIBLE!
[offscreen] Boo. [Lisa screams and she takes Lily from her] Boo.
[Leni runs off screaming; Lisa gets Lily back from Lucy only for Leni to intercept her; Luan tosses a banana peel on the floor causing Leni to slip and drop Lily and Lincoln catches her; Lynn intercepts Lily; Lola comes driving in her princess car and runs over Lynn and takes Lily from her; Lana tosses her jacks on the floor and causes Lola to have a tire blow out; in slow motion, Lola goes crashing and Lana grabs Lily only for the other girls to catch up to her by blocking her path]
[They all start having another brawl until Lincoln whistles out to them and they stop]
Look! We all want Lily to be our mini-me, right? Well, there's only one way to settle this. We'll let Lily choose.
Leni, why is this picture of Bobby hidden on your side of the closet?
Leni
Oh, there is it is! That was a surprise present from Bobby for your 88-day-iversary. He asked me to hide it for him, but I forgot where I put it.
That anniversary was eight days ago, and Bobby gave me socks! I can't believe this! You're literally seeing Bobby behind my back! You are no longer my sister!
G1Gamer 1
Pee-yew. What stinks?
[Suddenly, the TV goes off and it's revealed that Lincoln's sisters have unplugged it and are wearing potato sacks over their bodies and bandages on their feet, with a huge stench coming out of them, and all look incredibly furious]
It's not what it looks like! [notices the game controller and hides it behind his back]
We're up there making all these sacrifices, and you're down here playing some stupid computer game?!
Okay, so maybe it is what it looks like.
If you don't wanna give anything up, why should we?
But... but... polar bear? [holds up the poster]
[Lincoln's sisters are starting to feel remorse again, but this time, unfortunately, they snap out of it.]
Aww...wait a minute! You can't use that on us anymore!
Come on, girls! Let's go get our stuff back!
Leni
[holding up her glass of air] And a refill!
[They do so, and leave the basement.]
Leni
[singing] Backup, backup, backup!
No no no no. Leni, you don't actually sing the words "backup". You sing what's on the page.
Leni
Oh. Got it! [singing] What's on the page! What's on the page! What's on the page!
He looks okay, but we better check him.
Leni
[checks Lincoln's temperature with a scanner] 986 degrees? He's good. Let him go.
Will someone please tell me what the heck is going on?!
Haven't you heard? This morning our house became infested with an acute, febrile, contagious virus. Or, as it's known on the street, the flu.
With 13 Louds packed into 1200 square feet, when someone gets sick, it spreads like the plague. We're not just talking flu, we're talking...a zombie apocalypse!
Leni
Ooh! When did we put a mirror in the living room?
That's not a mirror, that's me! Now go take your dress back!
Leni
What?! No! You take yours back!
[End flashback]
That's it? You gotta be kidding me! Clyde and I wear the same shirt on picture day, and we didn't care.
It's a sister thing. You wouldn't understand.
Well let's go help them work it out So we can have our house back. [Lynn stops him with her hockey stick] Oof!
Negative. In this family, we have a sister fight protocol: butt out, and let them resolve it on their own.
Yeah? Well I have a protocol, too! Which is I don't like pooping in a bucket! [enters Lori and Leni's room] Hey guys. Now look, I know you've been having a little problem.
But I think I can settle this.
Leni
Lincoln...
Leni, why don't you just return the dress? Lori once said blue makes you look washed out anyway.
Leni
Wait, what?!
Okay, okay. I'm just spitballing here. Lori, why don't you return the dress? Leni says taffeta makes you look like Aunt Ruth. And who wants that? Am I right?
So, what do you say? Ready to hug it out?
We already hugged it out! We were fine! But now that I know that she thinks I look like Aunt Ruth, we are definitely not fine!
Leni
You insulted my skin tone! Nothing's gonna make that right!
[Leni and Lori fight as Lincoln leaves, only to be scared by his sisters]
Ugh, nice job, Lincoln! We told you to stay out of it!
Based on rising decibel levels, I'm up in the threat level in the house from thunderstorm to hissing cats. Sisters, to your stations!
What's going on? What happened to the fighting?
Pfft. We're over that. We made up.
Correct. Threat level is back to Field of Daisies.
[offscreen] Oh, thank goodness!
I don't understand. How did you fix everything?
No, Lincoln. You fixed everything.
We told you, if you just butted out, we'd resolve it on our own.
Leni
I came up with the perfect solution: Lori gets to wear it on the days that end in Y, and I get to wear it the rest of the time.
[Lincoln looks toward a confused Lori, who shrugs]
LLynn
And once they made up, the rest of us made up.
Heh. Well, I guess I've learned my lesson: Always respect the sister fight protocol.
Glad you're finally getting it.
Oh, I totally do, believe me. Next time when Lynn says she needs a windshield wiper when Lisa talks, or Lana says Lola snores like Pop-Pop, I am staying out of it.
You said what now, sporty?!
Oh, I snore, do I? How can you hear me over all your sleep-farting?!
Phew. Can't wait to use the real toilet.
[All the Loud sisters get into a brawl as Lincoln watches in horror]
Aah! Retreat! Retreat! [Runs back into his room]
Wait for me! [rushes to join them as the brawl shakes the whole house]
The Loud House · 632 quotes
