Rose Nylund quotes from The Golden Girls

Rose

[returning from a date with Miles to see The Glass Menagerie] Frankly, I was a little disappointed.

Miles

Really?

Rose

Yeah. When you told me you were taking me to a revival of Tennessee Williams, I was expecting something more along the lines of a seance.

Miles

[laughing] Rose, I have never met anyone like you!

Sophia

Check the cornfield on Hee Haw.

Dorothy

[about Sophia] Oh, damn it, I hate watching what this is doing to her.

Blanche

I hate watching what it's doing to you.

Rose

I hate watching those FBI warnings at the beginning of video rentals.

Rose

Sophia, Dorothy, how'd it go at the doctor's?

Dorothy

It was great. He says that Ma's memory problem could be related to a nutritional imbalance, so he put her on a special diet and if she follows it, she'll be fine from here on out.

Sophia

[sarcastically] Oh, lucky me, I can remember from now on, my whole past is gone! I could have slept with JFK and don't even know it!

Dorothy

Ma, I don't think so, you're not mentioned in any of the books.

Blanche

Well, that doesn't necessarily mean anything...

Blanche

I need the professional care of the most talented hairdresser in Miami - Robert. Oh, he's brilliant. Do you know, he was the first one ever to use mousse?

Rose

I'd check my facts if I were you, Blanche. Mr. Ingrid of St. Olaf has been using mousse ever since I can remember. Of course, it's his own professional secret which part of the moose he uses. But it'll keep your hair in place in winds up to 130 miles an hour!

Blanche

I just don't believe you, Rose!

Rose

Ask Conway Twitty!

Rose

A lullaby my mother used to sing to me when I was a little girl. So when I'm scared or alone, I sing it, and it gives me courage.

Blanche

No song is going to help me.

Rose

[singing] Over there, over there, send the word, send the word over there, that the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are com...

Dorothy

THAT is the lullaby that your mother sang to you?

Rose

Well, it was the only song she knew. During World War I, she gave out donuts and coffee to the doughboys before they boarded the trains for Europe. It works, truly! She said no one can be scared when they hear that song...except maybe the Kaiser.

[singing to Blanche as she is wheeled off to surgery] Over there, over there, send the word, send the word, over there, that the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming, the drums rum-tumming everywhere. Send a prayer, send a prayer, send the word, send the word, to beware...[An old World War I doughboy comes by and salutes]

Rose

Now to lose those four pounds, I guess I'll have to go on a sensible diet that I know gets results - the St. Olaf I-Can't-Believe-This-Is-Cheese diet.

Dorothy

How does it work?

Rose

You eat nothing but rice.

Dorothy

How's Blanche?

Sophia

She's fine. She'll be up and back on her back in no time.

Rose

Sophia, it's been wonderful watching you take care of Blanche all week.

Sophia

I feel like a regular hospital worker.

Rose

Oh, that's nice.

Sophia

Yeah! I just took all the money and jewelry out of her nightstand.

Blanche

Rose, no encyclopedia salesman lugs around twenty-six volumes door to door.

Rose

Are you kidding? In St. Olaf they carry fifty-two.

Blanche

Why?

Rose

Balance!

Dorothy

Rose, why don't they just carry thirteen in each hand?

Rose

[thinks] Excuse me, I have to make a phone call. [leaves]

Sophia

[dressed as Sonny Bono] Well, Rose, do I look like the mayor of Palm Springs?

Rose

Doug Henning is the mayor of Palm Springs?

Sophia

...Just play the music, Rose.

Rose

Blanche, do you know, at a truck stop in Tuscaloosa they have an egg dish named after you!

Blanche

Really? How are they prepared?

Sophia

Over easy.

Rose

Damn it! Why is this happening to me? I mean, this isn't supposed to happen to people like me! You must have gone to bed with hundreds of men!! [she gets up to go to the living room] All I had was one innocent operation!

Blanche

[getting up to follow Rose] Hey, wait a minute! Are you saying that this should be me and not you?!

Rose

No, no. I'm just saying that I am a good person. Hell, I'm a goody-two-shoes!

Blanche

[sharply] AIDS is not a bad person's disease, Rose. It is not God punishing people for their sins.

Rose

[meekly] You're right, Blanche.

Blanche

Well, you're damn straight I'm right!

Rose

Is it possible to love two men at the same time?

Blanche

Set the scene, have we been drinking?

Rose

[after Miles forcefully tells her to stop seeing Buzz] Oh, Miles. I find this side of you very exciting!

Miles

Well, it's the jungle cat in me. I try to keep it very carefully hidden, of course.

Rose

[smiling seductively] M-R-R-R-OWL!

Sophia

Ciao, Auf Wiedersehen, arrivederci and sayonara.

Rose

Gee, she could have at least said goodbye.