VB
4th most-quoted character in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: in 39 of its 318 quotesPhilip (21), Will Smith (14), Carlton Banks (6)
Scenes with Vivian Banks 37
[After seeing Janice's fiancé for the first time]
V Vivian
Gee, when Janice described him, she didn't mention that he was... tall. Not that I have any problems with people who are... tall.
L Lester
My cousin used to date a girl who was, uh... tall.
Heck, the boys go to a predominantly... tall school.
Am I alone in this, or did none of y'all notice he was white?
V Vi
What the hell is wrong with Janice?!
Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "white"? [smiles weakly] I meant "tall".
He didn't seem that tall to me.
[Philip reads off the family's credit card bills]
Carlton, ninety dollars for a pair of socks? That's ridiculous.
V Vivian
It certainly is. Oh Philip, that's nine dollars.
Oh...Ashley. How could you manage to charge eighty dollars worth of trinkets on our account at the drug store?
V Vivian
That's eighty cents. Sweety, do you need to get your eyes checked?
Don't be ridiculous Vivian.
V Vivian
This has been going on for months. If you move the TV any closer to the bed, I'll be sleeping with Jay Leno.
Now, this looks like it says "300 dollars for shoes." What's that say?
V Vivian
300 dollars for shoes.
(Geoffrey sneezes)
V Vivian
Geoffrey, it sounds like you're getting a cold.
Geoffrey (speaking with nose stuffed up): Not at all, madam. It was barely a stipple. There you go, Master William.
Thanks a lot, G. It looks great.
(Geoffrey sneezes in Will's cereal )
V Vivian
Marge, when you told Will that we chained ourselves together at sit-ins, you're only giving him the romantic part of the struggle. Girlfriend, you are leaving out everything that went before it: the leaflets, the petitions, the years of trying to work through the system.
M Marge
The system doesn't work. You have to blow the door down. Looks to me like you forgot that.
You talk as if I wasn't there with you in Birmingham facing dogs and firehoses. This is me, Olufemi, the same Olufemi that was with you the night Harlem went up in flames, but now I have a family and I choose not to fight in the streets. I have an office to fight from and I have fought and won cases for fair housing, affirmative action, health care and I am not ashamed to write a big fat check for something I believe in and that doesn't make me any less committed than you, so don't you dare look down your damn nose at me, Adebola.
Philip (to Marge): Remember Woodstock?
Twenty of us tried to squeeze into that tent. Vivian and I jumped into that lake naked.
V Vivian
I wasn't at Woodstock.
(at the Gingham Turtle restaurant, where Carlton is performing a striptease)
V Vivian
Put it on! Carlton Banks, you put your clothes on this minute!
(he covers his chest with his hands)
Vivian, where were you yesterday?
V Vivian
Shooting hoops with Michael Jordan.
(Philip is telling Will and Carlton about his freshman year at Princeton )
For extra money, I had to work for the Princeton Daily. My first assignment was to interview the town's most famous stripper: Boom-Boom Lasalle.
(The guys start laughing )
I wonder why they called her that.
For some reason, she took a liking to me. So she invited me to come with her and her sister to her dressing room for drinks.
Anyway, one thing led to another and before you know it, this old country boy...(Vivian slams a plate of food on the table in front of him) finished his Yoo-Hoo and went right home.
V Vivian
Wait a minute, Philip. Go back to when you finished your Yoo-Hoo.
V Vivian
I asked him [Judge Robinson] to pass the salt and he told me to go long.
V Vivian
Philip, he broke a window!
I always knew Will was gonna be the downfall of this family, but no one ever listens to me.
V Vivian
What, honey? I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
(Philip's election video)
Hi. I'm Philip Banks, and I'm running for superior court ju-ju-judge. Ju-ju-judge.
(cut to a clip of Philip dancing at the New Year's Eve Party)
V Vivian
[amused] That was our New Year's Eve party.
Oh, oh, Uncle Phil, I just put in a couple of old home movies, you know, to show your human side. It gets better. Check it out.
[in video] If you put me on the bench, I'll take a real bite outta crime! Bi-bi-bite! Bi-bi-bite! Bite!
(cut to a clip of Philip eating pizza repeatedly)
Vote for Philip Banks! Philip Banks! Philip Banks! Philip Banks!
(whoops; hoots ala Arsenio Hall) Emmy!
V Vivian
No, Philip, it's Richard Nixon in a Will mask.
No, Mom. I think that's really Will!
V Vivian
What is it? A boy or a girl?
This isn't a sonogram. It's a bill for $25,000. This baby's costing me a fortune.
Congratulations, you're having a Hilary!
V Vivian
Wait a minute. Where's Helen?
Oh, well, she couldn't come. She had to go to court with Lester.
V Vivian
Well, I thought the divorce was final months ago.
That's right. And everything was going so well, until she saw Lester with another woman. And that's when she snatched off the wig.
V Vivian
[gasps] She snatched off the woman's wig?
[all three sisters laugh]
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air · 318 quotes
