“A Night at the Oprah” quotes from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Philip

Hi. I'm Philip Banks, and I'm running for superior court ju-ju-judge. Ju-ju-judge.

Philip

What the hell is that?!

[amused] That was our New Year's Eve party.

Will

Oh, oh, Uncle Phil, I just put in a couple of old home movies, you know, to show your human side. It gets better. Check it out.

Philip

[in video] If you put me on the bench, I'll take a real bite outta crime! Bi-bi-bite! Bi-bi-bite! Bite!

Philip

Vote for Philip Banks! Philip Banks! Philip Banks! Philip Banks!

Will

(whoops; hoots ala Arsenio Hall) Emmy!

Will

My next question is for Mr. Banks: Mr. Banks, would you let your nephew come to The Oprah Winfrey Show, or make him fly all the way to Chicago for nothin', sit in the audience, and embarass him in front of his girl -- (looks at camera) Hi, LaTeesha. [looks at Philip again] Huh?

Philip

My God. Is that Will?

No, Philip, it's Richard Nixon in a Will mask.

Carlton

No, Mom. I think that's really Will!

If you ask me your whole damn family is crazy.

Will

See, brotha, if we was in Philly, it might have to be something, but we're on T.V., and I believe in Martin's philosophy; Non-Violence. So, I'ma chill. I'ma chill.

And if your mama sent you out there to live with them, then she's crazy too.

Will

Hey, man, don't nobody talk about my mother, man! (charges towards audience member)