Phil quotes from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

How would you feel if I came into your room and suddenly started throwing chalk around?

Will

I'd be devastated. (said in a deadpan manner)

Philip

Well, Mama, yes I am. I try to set some rules down for Will and you undermine my authority. I know how to handle things. I am an adult.

Hattie

I am too, Zeke.

I know that.

Hattie

Do you? How many adults do you tell to take a nap?

Philip

Mama, I was just worried about you.

Hattie

But I'm fine, baby.

Philip

I know. When you had the flu and I talked to you on the phone, you sounded so small. I just want you to live a long time.

Hattie

Then Zeke, let me live.

Gee, when Janice described him, she didn't mention that he was... tall. Not that I have any problems with people who are... tall.

My cousin used to date a girl who was, uh... tall.

Heck, the boys go to a predominantly... tall school.

Will

Am I alone in this, or did none of y'all notice he was white?

What the hell is wrong with Janice?!

Will

Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "white"? [smiles weakly] I meant "tall".

Hilary

He didn't seem that tall to me.

Ashley

I know where babies come from. I took sex education.

I thought you took band.

Will! You were supposed to secure everything to the luggage rack.

Will

I did! Ohhhhhh wait, this ain't the Volvo!

Hilary

It's a Bungee jump proposal!

Oh, please. Whatever happened to getting down on one knee?

Hilary

Daddy, that's for old fogies.

I got down on one knee.

Geoffrey

Sustained!

Trevor

(on TV; proposes to Hilary) Hilary Banks!

Hilary

Yes, Trevor?!

Trevor

Will you marry me?! (slams into the ground; whole family and Geoffrey watch in disbelief)

Will

I ain't no bungee expert or nothin', but I don't think he's supposed to be slammin' into the ground like that.

Hilary

"Please Stand By"? Great, the president's about to interrupt my marriage proposal.

Philip

Let's just pray that Trevor's okay. (later, after returning from Trevor's funeral) It was a lovely service.

Will

Trevor didn't look so bad for a dude that had a concrete facelift.

Carlton

Fool! Like that was his real head.

Could you two show a little compassion? Your sister is right behind you.

Hilary

I still can't understand.

Sweetheart, the lord giveth and the lord taketh away.

Hilary

No, I mean technically, am I a widow or what? This is all my fault, if I hadn't asked for a special proposal, Trevor would've been in my arms, instead of in my purse. (Pulls out a small urn.) I love you, Trevor. (Cries)

Will

Um, Hilary? Trevor wasn't cremated.

Hilary

Eww! Then who's this? (Hands the urn to Will who in turn, passes the urn to Geoffrey.)

Geoffrey

(Holding the urn) I'll see him to the door, sir.

I don't want your hand, I want my rent.

Will

Oh, come on, Uncle Phil. Haven't you learned anything from all of this?

Yeah, never rent from relatives.

You can't stop little girls from growing up.

I can, and I will!