Jazz quotes from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Jazz

I resent that. The joke's on you, Mr. Banks. You can't throw me out, 'cause I'm already outside. [Philip picks up Jazz then proceeds to throw him into the kitchen]

Jazz

My first time was with a girl from the projects. Best 50 bucks I ever spent...

Will

(to Jazz) What kind of poem is that?

Jazz

I'm starvin'. When do we eat here?

Philip

We eat here later. You eat here never.

Jazz

Looks like you eat here often.

Jazz

I dunno 'bout West Philly, but in L.A. you don't give stuff like that away.

Will

I dunno 'bout L.A., but in West Philly, you mess with some other brother's girlie, you mess around and get yourself killed.

Jazz

Well I dunno 'bout West Philly, but in L.A. we're man enough to take that risk.

Will

My brother, you wanna take this outside?!?

Jazz

(to Will, about Tyriq) What's he doing here?

(to Will, about Jazz) No, what's he doing here?

Will

Now, y'all not still mad about that watch thing.

He sold me a fake Rolex.

Jazz

He paid with a fake $20.

Will

[to Tyriq] Now, first of all. You should have known it was fake when you saw that the warranty was only for two hours. [to Jazz] And you should have known the Jackson on the $20 ain't Jermaine.

Jazz

They all look the same to me.

Trevor

How dare you. Do you have any idea who I am?

Jazz

A really bad cook?

That's my Jessie, the one with the braids.

Jazz

That's my Will, the one with the mustache.

Philip

Since when do you take care of the babies?

Jazz

Babies? I'm here to take care of Hilary.

Jazz

Hey, Dad. Now that I'm gonna be in the family, maybe we can talk about my trust fund.

Philip

What did you say?

Hilary

Jazz and I are getting married.

Philip

Over his dead body.

Hilary

Doesn't anyone care about how I feel?

No!

Will

Look, Jazz, I just don't feel comfortable telling you anymore, man. Who knows? Your life could be in danger.

Jazz

What life? I'm a married man.

I give you... The Hoodlum Pages. Okay, let's see here.

Jazz

Counterfeiters... Extortionists... Car Salesmen... Ah, here. Guys who take dives...

Will

Wait, wait, wait. So you're telling me, that this guy will let someone hit him ten times for $40?

Jazz

Mention this ad and he'll throw in a head-butt.

Will

Oh, okay, so this dude come down to the Peacock, stir up a little fray, I take him down and Lisa and everybody think I'm a hero. Aight, thanks, man. Hey, by the way, where'd you get this?

Jazz

I stole it.

Jazz

[defibrillator on hand] Check it out, Will. I'm the black dude on ER.

Jazz, that's not a toy.

Jazz

It doesn't have to be a toy to be fun. Check this out. Clear!