A character in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Vivian Banks
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air · 318 quotes
4th most-quoted character in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: in 39 of its 318 quotes
Most scenes with: Philip (21), Will Smith (14), Carlton Banks (6)
Will, why don't you introduce Ice Tray to your family?
Will (to Ice Tray): This is my little cousin Ashley. This is my bodyguard Geoffrey. All of this is my Uncle Phil. Remember, we used to say that Daffy Duck must have a little brother somewhere? Meet my cousin Carlton.
Hilary (about posing for Playboy): I am 24 years old and I can make my own decisions. Besides, Mom said it was OK.
Philip (sounding furious): Oh yeah? Vivian! So you said your daughter could pose for Playboy?
No, I said I didn't like it, but I also said she's a grown woman and its her choice.
Sweetie, would you say grace, please?
Yes, mommy... (Starts rapping) Hey there, lord. My name is Ashley Banks. My family and friends want to give you some thanks. So before this dinner's all swallowed and chewed, thank you God for this stupid food!
How was the flight, honey?
Yo, the plane ride was stupid. I was up in the first class...
Excuse me?
No, I'm saying the plane ride was dope.
Excuse me?!
No... Stupid, dope, it's not what you think. How would I say this... [in Bryant Gumbel like voice] the flight was really neat.
Ashley, honey, where is your violin?
Big Sal has it.
Big Sal?
He owns this really cool store where you don't even need any money. You just go in and give him something you don't even want and he gives you this ticket and...
A pawn shop?! You took her to a pawn shop?!
Yeah, you don't have many pawn shops in Bel-Air. I had to drive all the way to east L.A.
East L.A.?
How dare you pawn her violin?!
Philip, when I met you, you were into James Brown.
He liked James Brown?
He even wore his hair like him.
[laughs] He had hair?
Vivian (to Phillip): Do you know what my sister just said? You are not gonna beleve this. She said our kids are spoiled.
Philip (sarcastically): Oh, news flash.
You mean you agree with her?
Vivian, I'm the one who says they should be doing more work around the house. You're the one who is too easy on them.
Oh, really? Does this sound familiar? (imitating Hilary) Daddy, I need $300.
Hilary, your father and I just want you to be all you can be.
You want me to join the army?!
Philip, I've been thinking about what Hilary said. That stuff about us putting too much pressure on her, how hard it is to live up to a college professor, how she believed she couldn't admit to us she failed.
You mean you bought that crap?!
Alright okay! I can't take it any more! I dropped out of college.
You did what?! ...Hilary when did this happen?
3 months ago.
3 months ago?
and you have been lying to us since then?
3 months ago?
Mother I can explain!
3 months ago?
Come on, Aunt Viv, this is terrible. I mean, people in Bel-Air don't know how to celebrate Christmas. I'm worried about Ashley.
What do you mean?
Growing up in Bel-Air, she never had a real Christmas. I mean, there's no sledding, there's no caroling... There's no winos making snow angels on the front lawn. I mean, y'all don't even decorate the living room.
Yes, we do. We've already started. The poinsettias, the red candles and here's the beautiful crystal nativity your uncle gave me for Christmas years ago.
Where the little baby Jesus at?
Right there.
That little disk?
There are more decorations coming. A wonderful shop in Beverly Hills comes to the house, sets up the tree and decorates it for us.
Do they open your presents and wear your sweaters for you, too?
Will (to Vivian): I read the autobiography of Malcolm X.
And that makes you a serious black history student?
It's a very important book.
Will, you can read the books, you can wear the T-shirts, you can put up the posters and you can shout the slogans, but unless you know all the facts, you are just trivializing the entire struggle.
Carlton, You are not going down to McArthur Park tonight. In fact, (to everyone) none of you are going down to McArthur Park tonight.
Tiny (stands up): Wait a minute.
Boy, do not test me.
Yes, ma'am. (sits back down)
Your daughter suffers from displaced aggression syndrome.
Oh, Dr. Hoover, I'm afraid I would have to give a second opinion before I could believe that.
Oh, it's definitely displaced aggression syndrome.
Let me put it in simpler terms. This is where a child acts out the repressed hostility of an unhappy home.
And what is that supposed to mean?
Oh, too many big words?
No, Miss Thing, but I got a couple small words for you.
Vivian!
[enters] Hey, good news, people. The girls...
Obviously, your wife is upset. It's common with women in mid-life. I'd be happy to prescribe something.
Dr. Hoover, the school where you got your degree? You find it on the back of a matchbook?
Please, my humble brothers, please...
Penn State, my brother.
Really? Good school. I was thinking of going there if my scholarship to Princeton, Yale, Wharton, and Talladega Tech had fallen through.
Impressive! You must've been quite an athlete in your thinner days.
Okay, time out! Time out!
Hey, hey, hey! Let's stick to the topic, okay?
Fine. Speaking as a doctor, I think your daughter oughta be heavily sedated and immediately institutionalized.
Well, speaking as a lawyer, I can only say that your daughter suits the criminal profile to a T. Right down to the low, sloping forehead, and the wide jaw suitable for grains and small rodents!
I think you must have her confused with yo' mama.
[Philip punches him, and Hoover falls on Will]
That's it, Uncle Phil! You're grounded! [to Dr. Hoover] Y'know, I'd be happy to prescribe something for that.
Maybe Will did get a job.
Oh, please, Vivian. You'd believe that boy if he told you that he was a big rap star whose album just went platinum.
Will SmithWill Smith · 205 quotes
Carlton BanksAlfonso Ribeiro · 98 quotes
PhilipJames Avery · 81 quotes
Ashley BanksTatyana M. Ali · 31 quotes
Hilary BanksKaryn Parsons · 29 quotes
Geoffrey ButlerJoseph Marcell · 26 quotes
JazzDJ Jazzy Jeff · 12 quotes
PPhil9 quotes
Phillip BanksJames Avery · 7 quotes
LLisa5 quotes
HelenJenifer Lewis · 4 quotes
HHillary4 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.