Sergio quotes from The Casagrandes

Ronnie Anne

I called this truce to say we're not sure this prank thing is working out.

Sid

Nice try, Ronnie Anne, pranking me into thinking it's over. Pssh! I see you.

Ronnie Anne

Sid, I'm serious. You have some great ideas, but you can't expect to be prank master in a day. It takes time and you're... kinda sorta...

[squawks] Wrecking the Prankaversary!

[aghast] Sergio!

Sid

No, he's right.

Maybe you can practice and join the next year.

Sid

Yeah, totally. I was sick of pranking anyway. I just didn't want to bail on you guys. But since you're cool, I think I'll head to the zoo. [takes her box of pranks and leaves]

Ronnie Anne

Think we were too harsh?

Couldn't have hurt worse than getting pummeled by mangoes.

Ronnie Anne

Good point. Well, guess it's back to the prank war.

[dancing] Sancho's having a rager!

Another party. At this hour? Ay, I could never live with a pajaro like Sancho.

He can't help it. He's a wild animal. Don't wait up! [pushes a button on his radio, but screams as the radio pushes him through the door, leaving a parrot-shaped mark]

That's a lot of comida, Sergio. You better eat it all, otherwise, you're wasting money. [fiercely] My money!

[chuckles nervously while sweating] Don't worry. Got two stomachs. [squawks in shock to see Sancho appearing in his sight and jumps into the trash can; mutters and mimes at him to get out of there, only for Sancho to wave cheekily at him]

What are you waving at?

[flaps his wings frantically] Oh, uh, nothing. Look, not a penny wasted. [quickly stuffs a load of food in his mouth, while looking back and forth at Sancho eating food crumbs from under the oven and spaghetti stripes from in the sink; lays on his back with a bloated stomach]

Wow. You can fit so much food in your belly. I'm jealous. [walks out of the kitchen]

[groans] Mi estómago. [Sancho comes out from under the sink doors and hops out of the kitchen] Sancho? Hey! [lets out an enormous belch, shrinking his stomach back to normal size] Get back here! [shoves Sancho back into Ronnie Anne's room] Not cool. You're gonna get me in trouble! [walks to the TV to give it to him] Just sit and watch TV. [turns back and see Sancho has already disappeared; facepalms himself, groaning; whispering while finding him] Sancho? Where are you?! [hears Sancho in the bathroom, finds him playing in the toilet, closes the door; Sancho picks up and brushes his back with the toilet brush; trying to pull him out of the toilet] Sancho, not time for a toilet bath! [Sancho brushes his head with the brush, cooing playfully]

[opens the bathroom door, seeing Sergio on the toilet seat, reading a newspaper at the moment] Ay! Perdon, Sergio.

[squawks] Almost done!

[flinching and cringing in disgust] Okay, I'll be right outside! [rushes out and closes the bathroom door]

[annoyed with anger] Sancho! [pulls him out of the toilet, only to slip and fall in it; Sancho flushes the toilet as he struggles to get out and spins down, pushes his way out by losing his feathers on the lower half of his body, making Sancho burst out laughing; walks out of the bathroom, informing Rosa, waiting outside] All yours!

[spots Sergio's shaved lower half as he walks away] Ooh!

[drags Sancho back into Ronnie Anne's room again, tosses him to the window; losing his temper] THAT'S IT! YOU'RE OUT!

Coo? (Why?)

Why?! You don't listen! [pokes his face repeatedly] Can't follow rules. Bet you did poop on that statue! [Sancho coos crossly in protest] Yeah, I said it. Want my help? Here, wear this hat. [puts a red cap on Sancho's head] Nobody will recognize you. Good luck. [kicks Sancho out and closes the window and blinds; flies into the living room, holding a box of crackers in his arm, and sits on the couch next to Lalo, laying on the carpet chewing on a frisbee] Finally, some me time. [munches on some crackers, takes out the remote, and changes the channel]

Breaking news, the last pigeon has been caught and taken to the pound. Authorities say he was wearing a hat as a disguise. Did he really think that would work? Talk about a bird-brained idea.

[banging a gavel] I hereby sentence you to 15 years in the pound! [drops Sancho down through a trap door]

Bobby

[tiptoeing to Lori's golf cart, trying not to be seen, sprays perfume on himself] Lori's gonna be so surprised! [gets in Lori's bag and hides with red flowers]

Nice form, Lori! Looking good! [gives her a thumbs up and winks]

[chuckles] Thanks to all the one-on-one time you've given me.

Bobby

[pops the flowers] One-on-one time?! [wobbles and falls off the golf cart, rolling down towards them] Hey, babe. [chuckles]

[gasps] Bobby?

Bobby

Yep. That's right, your… [stares fiercely at Ewan] boyfriend, Bobby. [back to Lori, normally] I came to surprise you. But enough about me. Who's this guy?

This is my classmate, Ewan.

You must be the famous [slaps Bobby on the back] Poo Poo Bear I've heard so much about.

Bobby

It's "Boo Boo Bear."

Ewan's been helping me with my game. He's literally the best golfer here.

Bobby

Nice! Helping how exactly?

Oh. With techniques like this. [makes an impression of Ewan] "Grip the club tight, Lori. Widen your stands. You're doing great!" [chuckles] That's my impersonation of Ewan.

That is so me, Lori! [he and Lori both laugh]

Right?

Bobby

[nervously chuckles] This is all so funny for me.

Lori's amazing. You're a lucky guy.

Bobby

Thanks, Urine.

"Ewan".

Bobby

Urine. Got it.

[hugs Bobby] I'm so excited you're here! [sees and points to Carl and Sergio laying on a hammock] Is that Carl and Sergio?

Hey, what up double L?

Bobby

They kind of invited themselves.

Ooh, I wanna show you how much better my drive's gotten. All thanks to Ewan.

Oh stop, Lori. You’re making me blush.

Bobby

Great. [chuckles] Well, give me a sec to check on the boys. Gotta make sure they're behaving themselves. [walks backwards to Carl and Sergio; whispering] Did you guys see all that?! I think that guy's into Lori. And she doesn't exactly seem to hate him, either!

You're right to worry. That dude is after your girl.

[squawks] He's hot. And you're… you.

Bobby

[groans] This is awful! What do I do?

Relax. You just have to make him look like a chump.

Bobby

You don't think that's kinda mean?

Huh. Suit yourself. But don't come crying to me on their wedding day.

Bobby

[shocked] Wha…?! [fading into his imagination; standing outside the church window, watching Ewan putting a golf-ball style ring on Lori's finger and Lori and Ewan get married as they kiss, cries in despair and slowly slides down; back to reality, grabs Carl by the collar] I'll do whatever it takes!

Bobby

I'll miss you so much, babe.

Oh, I'll miss you even more, Boo Boo Bear.

Bobby

[dials his phone after kissing with Lori] Hi, Abuela. We're just heading back.

[snatches his phone; feigning sadness] Abuela! We missed the whole day of cleaning. Oh, it's so sad!

Cheer up, mijo. I saved your chores for you. Good luck getting out of it this time, muchachos.

[squawks] I'm outta here!

[reaching out] Take me with you!

Ronnie Anne

Step 2: acting lessons.

I got this! Show me anger, despair, passion!

[disgusted] He's got gassy down!

I've got a better way. Lalo, just think of something really sad. It's what I do to get out of punishments.

Ronnie Anne

[standing on the sofa] Whoa, he's good.

[horrified] What did you guys do?!

[smugly] Uh-uh-uh, you said we could. [takes out his phone]

I did not.

[plays the recording; through recording] Hey, Carlota. Uh, can we get the snow cone machine out of the storage room and make shaved ice for dinner?

[through recording] Sure, sounds good. [over the barrel] Ugh! Fine, my bad. But when Abuela sees this mess, we're all in for chancla time.

[horrfied] Chancla time?!

Clean for your lives!

Gatos, Gatos, Gatos, Gatos!

[bursts into the mercado with a broomstick] Gatos?! Where, where?!

Ronnie Anne

Not real cats, Abuela. [points to the orange team banner] The soccer team!

Oh. Well, before those real gatos get here, I'll be able to feel ready. [leaves the mercado]

I don't know what you are very excited about. Everyone knows the gatos lose every game.

This is not a real game. [rips off his sweater, revealing a gato t-shirt] It's the Crosslake Championship!

[mockingly] Oh. So they're gonna be big losers! I've got my money on anyone who's not The Gatos. [rips off his own shirt, revealing a t-shirt with a "No" sign covering the team logo]

[aghast; comes from behind the counter and bumps Vito] Just wait. Our star player, Picosito, is gonna win this year. After he's hot, ay-yi-yi, he's hot!

Too bad he's been ice cold for years.

Are you okay, Sergio?

Priscilla dumped me…AGAIN! [resumes sobbing]

Oh. I'm so sorry, Sergio.

You guys break up all the time. Just find a new girlfriend. There's plenty of birds in the sky.

I tried. Total fail. [Flashback to the moments of him trying to get a new girlfriend bird] One had terrible manners. [The female pelican launches a fish at him and he falls off] One just didn't listen. [holds up his phone showing a photo of Ronnie Anne to an owl] And for the fifth time, this is Ronnie Anne. [The owl hoots and he face palms himself; then seen having a dinner date with a female eagle] One was too aggressive. So, you like smaller birds? [The female eagle caws and picks him up and flies off into the sky; fading back to present] None lived up to sweet Priscilla.

Why did she dump you?

No idea. [holds up his phone, showing them a photo of Priscilla annoyingly massaging his feet] Look at all the fun we had together. This is her giving me a foot massage, [scrolls down to another photo of them at Sancho's place] this is us at Sancho's watching the game, [scrolls to another photo of her massaging his feet while still at Sancho's] this is her giving me a foot massage while watching the game.

She looks miserable!

Nah. That's just her resting ostrich face. [scrolls to a photo of Priscilla]

It's clear what the problem is. You didn't treat her like a princess. It's okay, I can teach you how to act like a prince and win her back.

I'm not so sure.

Look, the eagle's back for a second day!

You're hopeless.

Hopelessly in love! Don't give up on me! [begs with sad eyes]

Ugh, fine. We'll have to make it up to Priscilla, but this time, I'm coming with you, so you don't Sergio it up.

[offended] "Sergio it up?" What's that supposed to mean? [the venus flytrap bites on his head again] You got a point.

I have way cooler outfits in my closet that don't give me wedgies!

It's not for you, it's for her. Now, I'll be watching nearby and feeding you lines through my dad's old radio equipment. All you gotta do is listen to your earpiece and you'll do great.

I sure hope so.

[through earpiece] Bow and kiss the queen's hand, then say the following.

Frank, Estelle, it's truly an honor. [bows and kisses Estelle's foot, much to her approval]

Your daughter is my everything. I want to spend every waking breath beside lovely Priscilla.

Your daughter is my everything. I want to spend every waking breath beside ugly Priscilla.

I said lovely, you dope!

[stammering] I said lovely, you dope! Uh, I mean, you're so dope. High five. What?

The moment I laid my eyes on her, I said to myself… [starts hitting the radio as it starts glitching and randomly plays country music]

[starts square dancing] Yee-haw! You're listening to GLC's number one country station.

Hey, Carlos. Who you spying on?

How'd you recognize me? And I'm not spying. I'm helping Ronnie Anne beat Tony Hawk's skate team by doing a little…research.

You mean, cheating?

[annoyed] I am not cheating! It's called [yells loudly] RESEARCH! [dives behind a wall as Tony catches the attention, and his team goes back to practicing]

Busted! What's next, Einstein?

Plan B. [grabs Sergio by the throat] B for "bird."

Bobby

Hurry up with the tres leches wedding cake. They just pulled up!

On it!

[enters the apartment with Mama Lupe and Paco] Look, everyone. It's Mama Lupe and Paco, our handsome groom.

Hola.

Bienvenidos.

Hi, Mama Lupe.

[squawks] Primo, ready to clip your wings-- I mean, get married?

Claro que si. I can't wait to marry mi amor, Paulina. [takes out a photo of Paulina, a deformed female pigeon] She's the wind beneath my wings.

Maybe you should keep her beneath your wing. I mean, real catch.

Oh, [hugs Paco tightly] I can't believe mi bebe is finally getting married! [sits on the sofa and claps] Oh, I could almost cry.

[tearfully] Leave that to me!