Sergio quotes from The Casagrandes

On to more important matters, decide on a best man yet? [clears throat] Say, "Sergio."

I'm not sure, primo. It's a big responsibility.

Ah, come on, I'm responsible. [almost knocks the lamp off; chuckles] Hey, plus, I'll throw the best bachelor party ever! [hugs his primo, beggingly] Please. Oh, please. Por favor. [whimpers while making sad eyes]

Okay, Sergio, of course you can be my best man.

[does a victory dance] Wahoo! Best man, oh yeah! You heard it! Not Bobby! Not Hector! It's me! I'm the best! In your face.

Now, Sergio, as best man, you have a lot to do tomorrow. You must pose for photos, sign the license, and make a speech.

Mira, the best man must also hold on to las arras. [takes out thirteen gold coins in a sack] These thirteen gold coins have been passed down in our family for generations, and now I am giving them to Paco and Paulina.

Las arras bring the couple good luck and a long marriage.

[takes one of the coins out and bites it, losing a tooth] Wow, real gold. Okay, primo, bachelor party time. Leave everything to me.

[waking up] Ah, best bachelor party ever. [checking his pockets] Still got everything? Let's see: wallet, keys, phone, las arras. [holds up the sack and notices a hole in it; worried] Ah, crackers! [shoos some pigeons away] Scram! Shoo! You've gotta be here somewhere.

[wakes up] What are you looking for, Sergio?

Can't find those gold coins.

[shocked] You lost las arras?! Paco has to give Paulina all 13 gold coins at the wedding, or it's bad luck. If you don't find them, their marriage will be doomed!

[bursts into apartment 2A] Quick! Need help! Las arras fell out of the bag!

[horrified] Sergio! How could you?! Now Paco and Paulina will be doomed!

Ronnie Anne

Abuela, we can fix this. We'll help Sergio find them.

Yeah, and the rest of us can keep Paco distracted in the meantime.

Vamos! Before they're doomed.

Sergio, it's happening. Soon, my love and I will be one. Although I got to admit, I am a little nervous.

Oh, come on. What could go wrong? Bring it in!

My suit! Must have been the pepperoni I ate last night. It made me bloat.

Carlota, can you fix it?

I'll try. Paco, you're supposed to tear up the dance floor, not your suit.

Not a good start.

Finally, I'm free! [looks in shock to see everything in a disaster]

Stanley

Boy, bird weddings are fun!

What's going on?

Bad luck, that's what!

Nonsense. Every wedding has its setback.

This is more than setbacks. It can only be due to one thing: las arras!

Ah. I fixed the strings. [the guitar strings break again] Chihuahua.

Sergio, I thought you said you got all 13 coins.

I did. I'll prove it. [takes out the coins and counts them] 10, 11, 13. Boo-yah!

You forgot 12, genius.

[gasps] That means that one lucky coin is still missing!

Missing?! [growls with rage and tries to go after Sergio while the whole family holds her back, slowing her down] Let me at him! [calms down; sadly] Ay, without the last lucky coin, the marriage will be cursed with bad luck forever.

[gasps] Paulina, my love. We don't need luck. [Paulina sobs in tears and runs away; turns to his primo, crossly] Thanks a lot, Sergio! You ruined my wedding! Paulina! Please, come back! [flies after Paulina for consolation]

[sadly with guilt] I guess Paco was right to doubt me. I'm not best-man material.

That coin has to be somewhere.

Ronnie Anne

We must have missed something.

Yeah, one coin. Keep up.

[flying angrily directly at Maybelle] GIMME MY COIN!

AH! [bashes Sergio with the pizza box] Take that! I better put this away for safekeeping.

[pops out of the pizza box as Sancho takes the slice of pizza off his head and eats it] Eh, new plan.

Sergio, I had my doubts, but you really came through for me, primo. Thank you for being the very best, best man. Maybe one day I can be yours.

[confidently] Not anytime soon.

Hector, what're you doing under the table?

Huh! You're the health inspector who shut down my studio.

Ooh, this is gonna feel good cuz it does wanna feel good! [eats a bucket of popcorn]

Him? He's not a health inspector. He's my favorite husband.

Awkward.

It seems like two of you like to have a lot to talk about. I'm going to reopen my studio cuz I want to reopen my studio.

Another time to bounce, everyone!

Hector Casagrande, explain.

Well, I was tired of hearing you talk about Ivan and his dance class earlier, okay? So, I hope if the world were making them shut it down, that might act like the other end of it.

[sharply with anger] Hector! How selfish could you feel?! I don't want to talk to you for now. [walks to the door, rips it off, and leaves]

[walks in along with Vito] Gee, who could see this coming?

Aww. I need to fix this.

[burps] And I need more popcorn.

Ronnie Anne

You're lucky you didn't have to walk Lalo. He is not in a fun mood.

Hey, Lalo! Why did you do that?! Now I have to go nap in the mercado.

[after Malo takes a bite out of his El Falcón action figure] Hey! Lalo ate El Falcón's head!

[bare-footed as Malo starts chewing on her pair of boots by the door] Those are my new boots!

Bobby

Lalo, what's going on with you? [screams as Malo bares his teeth, growling at him]

We better figure it out. Abuelo hates when pets misbehave.

[squawks] I woke him up once. Almost made parrot tacos out of me.

Parrot tacos? Ew!

Hey! I'd make a great taco. [Malo visualizes him as a taco and tries to eat him; flies away] I take it back! I'd make a terrible taco!

Ronnie Anne

Here comes the 540 Gazelle Flip. [Skates down her side of the half-pipe, skates up Sergio's side and while her board spins, she rotates her body one and a half times around. She returns to the other side of the half-pipe] Now the 720 Gazelle Flip. [Skates back to Sergio and rotates two whole times. Returns to the other side] Get ready for the 1080!

More like 1080 Butt Flop.

[Squawks] Need a wing?

Ronnie Anne

[Dusts herself off] Uh, I'm okay. [Picks up her board] Let's reshoot that.

[Squawks] Take two. This time with less falling.

Ronnie Anne

[Sheepishly backs up] Uh, maybe we should hold off on the video I think I'm still kind of shaken up from the fall.

That's lunch people! Now we get to re-watch your hilarious spill.

Ronnie Anne

[Growls, shoos everyone] Get out of here!

[enters excitedly] Hola, I'm home! Ho, you guys will never guess what Vito wears to bed! [only sees his family, all super mad at him] What? You already know about the bunny pajamas?

No, Abuelo. This is a convention.

Actually, Carl, the word is "intervention."

Hector, your chisme addiction is embarrassing your family.

Bobby

And making the customers mad.

You're a chismoso. And by that, I mean, you're the biggest gossip in town.

What? [not seeing the problem] I'm not a gossip. Anyway, as I was saying… Vito wears his pajamas with huge bunny ears! [the family grumbles at him; realizes what he's doing] Okay, now I see it. I didn't even know I was doing it. I'm sorry. I never meant any harm.

I know, mi amor, but when you talk about people behind their backs, it can be hurtful.

Ah, you're right. As of today, I am swearing off chisme. Right after I tell you about Mr. Scully's toupee. [snickers, then Ronnie Anne shoves a pillow in his mouth to shut him up]

[squawks] This won't be easy.

Ronnie Anne

Don't worry, Abuelo, we can come by the mercado and help you cut the chisme.

[off-screen] It is I, Tuba Boy!

Tuba Boy?

Look, Mama! Tuba Boy, tu-ba rescue!

Alexis is submitting a sidekick too?

And his costume looks amazing.

Yeah, and mine's trash. I really need to step it up if I'm gonna win this contest!

Ooh, the letter from the show! [reading] "Dear Carl Casagrande, thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, we didn't find El Pollito to be a very convincing sidekick." [whimpers with heartbreak] What?

Sorry, Carl. Crackers on me tonight.

[showing up along with Adelaide] Carl, we made it into the final round! What about you?

[tearing up, upset] I-I didn't make it. [lays his head flat on the ground, sobbing as Sergio comforts him]

Hey, you seem upset. You want a hug? It's one of Tuba Boy's powers.

No, I'm fine! Everything's fine!

Okay. Well, wish us luck.

[crumples up the letter, angrily] These judges got it all wrong! El Pollito's not convincing? Oh, I'll convince them all right!

Ooh, whatcha thinking? Blackmail? I know a pigeon.

No, we're gonna make another tape to prove the judges wrong. This time, we'll show El Pollito doing heroic acts.

We did it! You're safe now. [unties Sergio]

My heroes!

Sergio?!

Why are you dressed as a baby?

Carl's idea! He wanted to look like a hero for the show.

Carl, you put Sergio in real danger just to rescue him?

[sighs sadly] It's true. I wanted to convince the show they were wrong for not picking me, but obviously, I totally blew it. Sorry. Turns out, I'm not much of a hero.

You're telling me.

[flies into the apartment, in a scuba suit] Ready for our scuba lesson? [Lalo explains to him, gesturing the painting] You squiggled on paper. Congrats. [Lalo continues explaining] You gotta make ten more? For Frida? What's in it for you? Diddly-squat? Hold up. It's time I teach you about the law of supply and demand. If you're gonna supply, you gotta demand.

Lalo, I'm back! Ready to paint?

[halting her] Not so fast. I'm Lalo's manager. [takes out a fake business card] For every painting my client makes, he's gotta get something out of it too. [roguishly] As does his manager. If you could please sign this contract. [takes out a lengthy contract]

Ugh, fine. Anything to get more paintings. [signs the contract]