The Big Bang Theory · Season 12
You're up early.
Huh? Yes. I wanted to get a jump on planning a day of fun for you.
Oh, that's sweet. What are we doing?
Oh, no, just you. I have other plans. Now, would you prefer to see The Grinch in 2D or 3D?
I don't wanna see it at all.
Well, let's go 2D. No sense in spending extra money.
What are you gonna be doing?
Being a great husband.
Yeah, you're gonna need to show your work on that.
You're probably wondering why I put you through this.
You mean the last two minutes or the last twenty years?
Why can't we get a grad student to do it?
We can't trust our paper to a millennial. They'll put unicorn emojis all over it and post it on social media.
Why would they do that?
Economic anxiety, too much avocado toast, who knows?
Okay, Sheldon and Amy are still pretty upset about their theory being disproved.
So we have made a list of subjects for everyone to avoid.
Symmetry.
Asymmetry.
Oh, SimCity. Sounds too much like symmetry.
That also applies to The Simpsons, Simba from The Lion King, and cymbals.
Russia or Russian in any context. The country, the dressing, the roulette.
Uh, also, no talk of Rocky IV.
Why Rocky IV?
Because he fights a Russian. I'm sorry about her.
Is that your dad?
It is.
I've only seen pictures of him.
[on the tape] I know we're down, by a lot. And if I'm being honest with you, we're probably not gonna win this one. In fact, we're definitely not gonna win this one.
Do you want me to turn it off?
But we're not gonna quit, either. And if we do lose, you need to know that doesn't make you losers. You learn as much about who you are and what you're made of from failing as you do from success. Maybe more. So you can spend the next half feeling sorry for yourselves, or you can get out there and give 'em hell.
Yeah! Let's give 'em hell!
Oh... watch your mouth, your mom might...
[pausing the tape] I remember that game.
Did they win?
Oh, no. No, they lost so bad, the other team let one of their cheerleaders try to kick a field goal.
Champagne, a champagne, a champagne with a packet of Splenda in it.
You know what I call this drink?
A waste of champagne?
No. A Dr. Cooper. Because...
He is also sweet and bubbly.
A toast to Sheldon and Amy and the publication of your super-asymmetry paper. We are so proud of you guys. Cheers.
Thanks.
Yay.
Ooh! That is PhD-licious.
Welcome to the inner sanctum.
Oh, I do love a good sanctum.
Sheldon, look at my fruit plate. It's got kiwi on it.
Ugh. I don't like kiwi.
Neither do I, but it's so fancy.
So Leonard's really considering this?
Yes. We got in a huge fight about it. He said, well, if I don't want to have his baby, then why shouldn't someone else be able to? Do you believe that? What?
Well, there is a deep-seated biological drive to pass on your genes. It's only natural.
So you're on his side?
Well, viewing Leonard as a mammal, it's perfectly understandable.
But viewing him as your husband, he stinks.
And we hate him.
So are you saying you're okay with this?
I don't know, but when I told you I didn't want kids you didn't have a say in that, so maybe I don't need to have a say in this.
Thank you.
They couldn't have picked a better person.
Aren't you always saying it's about the work, not more money or a better title?
All the smart things I say, and you remember the dumb one.
Maybe you should.
What?
This has been your lifelong dream. And you may not get another chance. I don;’t want to be the reason that you don’t win a Nobel.
You’re the only reason I deserve one.
But if your best shot is with them I think you should take it.
Is this what you really want me to do?
I want you to be happy.
Thank you. [Hugs Amy]
I went down to the city compliance office to turn you in.
Are you kidding?
But I didn’t do it. I filled out the form and then realized that the unwritten laws of friendship are more important than the written rules of the city of Altadena City and Planning Department.
Aw.
Really? Aw?
And you’ll be happy to know that while I was there I did look into your neighbor’s balcony and it is encroaching on your property line. I had all this pent-up snitch energy so I reported him hard.
What did they say?
He’s going to have to remove it.
So the good guys win?
Well, I don’t know if I’d call you the good guys. You’re enforcing a law on him which you’re willfully ignoring yourselves.
Uh. All right, fine. The morally compromising guys win!
Apparently so.
Is it me or has no one been in the store for hours?
Yeah, it’s weirdly quiet. Nobody’s in the street.
Huh, that’s strange.
You thinking what I’m thinking?
They cut that meteorite open and unleashed a space plague.
Exactly.
Let me just lock up here.
Okay, so what do we do?
Uh, well, if this is a worst case scenario and we’re the last two people alive we’re gonna have to rebuild civilization.
Do you have any special skills?
I can draw. How about you?
I can play clarinet.
I didn’t know that.
Yeah. Ten years. Ah.
You know, it, uh, might also be up to us to repopulate the earth.
I’m okay with that.
So shall we?
Wait here. I’m gonna brush my teeth.
[Sheldon shows up] We’re closed.
This is going on Yelp.
Okay, that’s my dad. Now remember, don’t bring up any baby stuff. All right? Not me wanting one, not you having one with Zack.
Got it.
And if he brings it up, just change the subject to literally anything else.
Got it.
But not the Cornhuskers, Do not discuss the Cornhuskers.
Is that a sports team?
Never mind, you’re good.
Penny, doesn't want to have kids. I can respect that. But this is my chance to leave a little part of me behind.
Okay, but this isn't going to make you a dad. It's gonna be their baby, not yours.
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