The Big Bang Theory · Season 10
You're an adult who can't get by without an allowance from his parents. Women don't want that.
What are you saying? That you're giving up on me? What kind of father gives up on his son?
I have six children, five of whom are married and self sufficient. I don't think I'm the problem.
I'm mapping basic topics of conversation and with whom they can be discussed. I've called these circles zones of privacy. Don't google that unless you want to see pictures of people's genitals.
[Sheldon's looking through Raj's finances]
How bad is it?
Let me put it this way, do you own a barrel and suspenders?
Are you serious?
I'm not wearing this visor to play women's golf.
[Howard walks into the kitchen]
How's my favorite girl?
Good.
[hugs Bernadette] Whatcha doing?
Making lasagna.
Oh, she's sexy, she can cook, such a lucky guy.
You want something stupid or you did something stupid?
No! I just walked in here, saw how beautiful you are, and had to tell you.
Oh dear God, you're cheating on me with Raj. [smiles]
[chuckles] That one never gets old.
It's like that science thing. For every action you have a gigantic and annoying reaction.
Just when I thought you couldn't get any hotter...
I spoke with Leonard's mother, and she made me feel better.
I don't know who you talked to, but that wasn't my mother.
Gentlemen, the most interesting thing just happened with this spoon.
Unless it was singing "Be Our Guest," I doubt it.
[Enters apartment with her harp] I like harp lessons, but I'm thinking of switching to elevator repair lessons. [Puts down her keys and closes the door] What are you working on?
I was thinking about your experiment on the neuroscience of decision making, and I realized if we connect it to the measurement problem in quantum mechanics we have a chance to disprove the role of consciousness in the Copenhagen interpretation.
Wait, are you saying if we combine my experiment with your calculations, we can determine the precise moment in time when the wave function collapses?
It could be the most inspired combination since I mixed red Icee into my blue Icee. It was like drinking two-sevenths of the rainbow.
Sheldon, this is really interesting.
Yeah and this one won't stain my teeth purple.
Incredible! Sheldon, I didn't expect that you could work on both projects, but I was wrong.
You know, I felt the same way about the spork? Solids and liquids handled by one utensil, that'll never work. Spoiler? Works.
[Cut to scene of Sheldon in the lab with Howard and Leonard.]
Gotta admit, we didn't think you'd be able to do two things at once.
You know, I felt the same way about the platypus. Bird and mammal in the same creature, no way! Spoiler? Way.
[Sheldon sneezes]
Are you getting sick?
Of course not! I'm too busy to be sick.
Well, you're pretty delicate. Maybe you shouldn't be pushing yourself so hard.
I'm fine!
Alright, well, we'll just pretend that you didn't catch a cold watching Frozen.
That didn't happen.
You also got a nose bleed watching Up.
Do your laundry!
This is supposed to be our family fun day. What's so important on your phone?
I'm on the daycare's website.
Well, stop looking at that. The daycare's great! It's on campus, my office is two minutes away. There's nothing to worry about.
What if she likes the people who work there more than us?
She already likes soap bubbles more than us!
Sheldon, what did Amy have that attracted you?
Oh, so many things. Her mind, her kindness, and especially her body.
Really?
Relax. We're the same blood type, he knew he could harvest an organ.
Penny?
Oh, Zack, hey!
What are the odds of running into you here?
Well, it's a bar, so pretty good.
I'm sorry I called you a quitter.
It's okay. I stopped being upset about that. And no, the irony is not lost on me.
Wait, so you're just gonna take all the work we've done for the last year and toss us aside?
That one I can tell you. Yes.
Well, this is all very upsetting.
I'm sorry to hear that. As you know, the primary focus of the United States military is people's feelings.
Wait, if that's sarcasm, please save it for our enemies!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Big Bang Theory pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
