Michael...
[groggy] Jackie? Am I dreaming?
Yes, you are.
Are we gonna do it?
Yes, we are.
Cool. Where's Donna?
WHAT?! [attacks Kelso]
S4 E22Eric's Corvette Caper
S4 E23Hyde's Birthday
[Kelso is going through Red's tools to find a saw to cut down a street sign the gang wants to give to Hyde for his birthday]
[As Red comes up behind him] Red! You're probably wanting to know why I'm looking through your stuff. [Red stares at Kelso menacingly] Ok, see I needed to borrow your saw because I needed to chop down a tree. [Red looks unconvinced] Because there's something stuck in it- an animal- a rabbit.[Pause] There's a rabbit stuck in a tree and I want to return that rabbit to the wild, so it can lay it's eggs.
[After staring at Kelso]: Kelso, rabbits don-[Eric and Donna come in through the back door to get the saw] How the hell did a rabbit get up in a tree?!
Um... Eric threw it up there. [Eric stares at Kelso in surprise]
[Angrily] Eric threw a rabbit in a tree!
Yeah. He's a sadistic bastard. [Eric stares at Kelso in shock] You know he hit a cow once? [Eric lunges toward Kelso, but Donna pulls him back. They leave through the back door with the saw.]
S4 E24That '70s Musical
[Fez has just fantasized a musical performance of the whole gang singing 'Sing a Song']
So what do you think?
I think whatever you're on I'll take two of em!
[Fez is having another fantasy where he is part of the Forman family]
Okay kids it's nighty night time.
Eric Night mom.
Night mom!
That's my mama!
I love you Fez.
I love you more!
I love you the most! Good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs put their foot in your ass.
Okay boys lights out and no staying up til 8:30 giving each other hugs!
ATAll three boys
Awwwww!
Oh, guys, Fez's concert's about to start. Which means we have three more hours without his sorry ass! Let's eat his candy!
Yeah. [imitating Fez] "My name is Fez, I love candy! Whore! Good day! I said good day!"
Yeah, and the best part is that idiot actually thinks I'm his friend. [chuckles] Like I care! I wish he were dead. Oh, hey, we should kill him!
No, I got a better idea. Let's sing without him.
S4 E25Eric's False Alarm
Well, I called the lame motel. Fez, you were right. Casey has a reservation for tonight.
And Hyde, you were right. I cannot keep a secret.
Speaking of secrets, look what I found in Jackie's cheese. [holds up piece of paper with...] Some guy Phil's phone number. I–I can't take this anymore. I just know it, Hyde. She's cheating on me again!
Kelso, don't jump to conclusions. Maybe I don't care! Forman, man, you gotta be cool about this Donna thing, or she's gonna know you're jealous. You can't be all... Simon and Garfunkely. You gotta get Bruce Springsteeny... Springsteenian... Springsteenicious. ...Wait, what are we talking about?
Hey, you guys, I am not jealous. I’m just looking out for her. I mean... Donna’s practically a sister to me. A tall, shapely sister. Who I’ve done it with. About a million times.
Look, maybe Donna and Casey won’t even do it tonight. I’d call it... 50/50.
You would?
Oh, I’d be wrong. But I’d call it that to keep you from doing something stupid.
S4 E26Everybody Loves Casey
When guys cheat, it's because they need some hot action. But when girls cheat, it's way worse, 'cause girls don't even like sex.
We do, too.
Kelso Well, why aren't we doin' it now?
Because I don't want to do it right now.
I do. Point made. Thank you!
Guess what? I read your little "everything's my fault" article and I realized why I cheated. Remember the first time I kissed Pam Macy?
Behind the gym?
And in the gym, and in her car. But, anyway... Earlier that day, I didn't have any money to buy you tater yots. And you said that I'd never be able to support you, 'cause I wasn't smart enough. And you're always puttin' me down like that, and it makes me feel bad about myself. And that is why I cheated.
That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
Just like that. And then I thought about it, and I realized that I'm not sorry either!
Michael, what are you saying?
I'm sayin' that we're not right for each other, because you make me feel bad about myself! And... And... I don't think I can be with you anymore. I want to break up.
Wait, break up? No, no. Michael, I was wrong. Please, let's talk about this.
No. [leaves]
Wait, but Michael!
S4 E27Love, Wisconsin Style (1)
And then I told Donna she was grounded, and she said no.
She said no?
Can you do that?
No.
I need your help, Red. I gotta get Donna away from that guy.
Oh, Dad. You know what's good? Threaten her with the ol' foot in the ass.
[in response to Donna dating Casey Kelso] Y'know, that Casey. How can such a bad influence live in such a handsome package? Bad people should have a, a, a big scar or an eyepatch so you can recognize them.
The problem is, you know there's a, a point where your kids realize you can't do nothing to control them.
There is?
No, now stop listening. Bob, I don't want to get involved. I've got enough problems with the 14 kids who think they live here now.
[Red and Kitty talk to Eric after he turns down Donna's bid for a second chance.]
Let me get this straight. Donna wanted to get back together... and you said No?
I said No.
You said No!
... Dumbass!
Look, I have my reasons.
[agitated] What could they be? What could they possibly be?
Casey dumps her, and she comes to me? OK, I'm not a rebound!
So you're too proud to take her back? And what do you have to be so proud of? You're not an athlete, the only smart thing about you is your mouth... and just look at you!
Red, he looks fine. He's just so darn stupid.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's That '70s Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.