Donna Pinciotti quotes from That '70s Show

Donna

So, my parents are, like, fighting all the time, and they want me to choose sides. But I can't, because they're both idiots.

Donna

Fez, what happened? I haven't seen you look like this since you found out Candyland isn't a real country!

Hyde

Eric, it is time.

Eric

Why don't you do it?

Hyde

It's your house.

Kelso

Your house!

Hyde

[points upward] Listen to them up there. The party has reached critical mass. In ten minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities.

Eric

If my dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me!

Hyde

I'm willing to take that risk.

Kelso

Don't worry about it! Just remain calm, keep moving...

Donna

And above all, don't get sucked into my dad's hair.

Eric

What's wrong with your dad's hair?

Donna

Just don't look at it.

Hyde

[grabs Eric's face] And Eric: Cold. Definitely cold.

Eric

Donna, I hate dancing.

Donna

Why did you go?

Eric

I like you.

Donna

So... you're in like with me?

Donna

[to Jackie and Kelso] Finally! Where have you guys been?

Kelso

We had to look for the paper, and eat... and then some stuff happened, you know.

Eric

Your shirt's on inside-out.

Kelso

Yeah, that's the stuff.

Eric

I had a nice discussion with Red and Kitty about foreplay.

Donna

I'm sorry.

Eric

Yeah, me too.

Donna

So, what do you guys wanna do when you grow up?

Eric

Um, not touch dead people. Ever.

Eric

I killed her. She was old, and the shock of her grandson telling her that she was nasty killed her.

Donna

Have you talked to Red about this?

Eric

I'm not talking to my dad about this. Do you remember how angry he got when I didn't rake the yard? This is like, twice as bad!

Hyde

Forman. Let's go get wasted.

Donna

[exasperated] Great!

Eric

See? Hyde's a real friend. He's gonna help me get through my grandma's death.

Hyde

[frowns] Your grandma's dead? Oh, man... Let's go get wasted.

Eric

Hyde's mom is gone, and he is going downhill. I mean, he's sitting over there in the dark eating ketchup off crackers.

Kelso

I ate gum off a parking meter once. But it was on a dare. I made a dollar. Man, there's some suckers out there!

Fez

Crackers and ketchup are "K" words. Which makes them naturally funny.

Donna

[laughing] Oh, my God! I can feel, like, all the molecules in my body! I'm gonna count them! One, two, three...

Eric

[playing with View-Master] You guys disgust me. Doesn't anyone care about Hyde? ...Oh my God, run Scooby! Now, run!

Kelso

You know what's freaking me out? I saw Jackie sick, without makeup. And it was, like, the freakiest thing I've ever seen in my entire, entire life. Including the class trip to the sausage factory.

Fez

Ai, if I never see the inside of another cow, it will be too soon! Jerky?

Donna

Eighteen, nineteen... I have the biggest hands in the world! Dammit! One, two...

Eric

So his mom's gone, and I know he doesn't want any help. But the Donner party didn't get any help, and then they ate each other so... [to Fez] Hey, don't bogart that jerky.

Kelso

Yeah, no parents would be cool! Like The Lord of the Flies!

Eric

Kelso, did you ever finish Lord of the Flies?

Kelso

No. So?

Eric

Nothing. Look, what are we gonna do about Hyde? We should tell someone.

Kelso

What am I gonna do about Jackie? I can't even look at her!

Fez

She's unpleasant when she's healthy, so I can only imagine how she looks like!

Donna

Hey, Kelso... Jackie's my friend. [points finger at him] And you're shallow... [looks at finger] and pathetic. And you know what else? [shows hands] My hands are huge! They're like boxing gloves. [impersonating Muhammad Ali] I am the Greatest!

Eric

Okay, champ. Whatever you—[Donna punches Eric]

Donna

Excuse me, Jackie, when exactly did you lose your soul?

Jackie

Um, cheerleading camp.

Donna

So ... here we are ... together... again.

Midge

Hmm, I'm just loving the time we spend together Donna. In my new book 'Our Mothers, Our Selves,' it says we're supposed to be friends. We should talk to each other and listen. Your stupid father never listens.

Donna

Is there anything in your book about not insulting my father?

Midge

Well I don't know, I've only read the first chapter. Oh, okay, no more talking about your father. So, how do you like the clogs I bought you?

Donna

They're awesome!

Midge

Good! Cause your father's an ass!

Fez

So you're telling me, if were to go to up to someone's house and say "trick or treat!" they would give me a free piece of candy?

YES!!!

Fez

Oh I don't believe you!

Fez

Trick or treat! [person drops an apple into Fez' bag] An apple? Where's my candy you son of a bitch?!

Donna

How do you do that?

Eric

Do what?

Donna

You always make me feel better.

Eric

Uhm, well thank you.

Donna

I love you, Eric.

Eric

I love... cake.

Hyde

Forman's first suspension... I'm so proud.

Kelso

Whoa, back up. Why'd he get suspended?

Donna

Because he's stupid.

Kelso

[terrified] They can do that?