Eric Forman quotes from That '70s Show

Eric

Ah, come on, Hyde, did you have to write your name in the snow so close to the tree?

Eric

[sitting in a jail cell] We're not all in trouble here. [to Kelso] Your parents have seven kids. They won't even notice you're gone. [to Fez] Your parents don't even live in this country. [to Hyde] And your mom? Probably one cell over.

Eric

Do you know how many cool guys live in New York? There's like... Lou Reed, man!

Eric

You dance with Mary Jane, you get your toes stepped on. That's right. Consequences, my friend. Yeah, consequences. Now my car's gone and Red's high as a kite.

Eric

It's true. I'm gonna march over there and talk to Bob... I love a good march. My birthday's in March, then it's on to April. April Showers. Oh, The Seduction Of Eric Forman, starring the insatiable April Showers! [laughs]

Eric

Hey Donna! I got an 800. We're lucky I can wash myself.

Eric

So... cold... Can't... use the Force...

Eric

Still no Fez, huh? Wow, Kelso, you must have really pissed him off. He hasn't been away this long since he discovered bubble baths.

Eric

Donna, I think I know how to be subtle. [Scene change] MOMMY, MOMMY, DONNA MIGHT BE PREGNANT!

Eric

Life is like a train. It's barring down on you and guess what? it's gonna hit you. So you can either start running when it's far off in the distance or you can pull up a chair, crack open a beer and just watch it come.

Eric

Okay! I'm here to earn my dinner! What am I gonna do about Donna? ...We're hanging out! What am I gonna do about my job? ...I quit! What am I gonna do about my future? ...Nothing! When am I moving out? ...Make me!

Eric

Hey, Hyde, how's it going with the store and Kelso nailing your sister?

Eric

I'm a gentleman and never use this kind of language, but Mr. Randall you are one six-ing seven-ing monkey five-er you think your one don't stink well three-off you three-ing three [quoting George Carlin's Seven words You Can't Say on Television or Radio

Eric

It used to be where you had to buy a girl dinner before she would slide all over you, moaning like a ghost.

Hyde

Eric, it is time.

Eric

Why don't you do it?

Hyde

It's your house.

Kelso

Your house!

Hyde

[points upward] Listen to them up there. The party has reached critical mass. In ten minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities.

Eric

If my dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me!

Hyde

I'm willing to take that risk.

Kelso

Don't worry about it! Just remain calm, keep moving...

Donna

And above all, don't get sucked into my dad's hair.

Eric

What's wrong with your dad's hair?

Donna

Just don't look at it.

Hyde

[grabs Eric's face] And Eric: Cold. Definitely cold.