WBW.B.
So, Steven, how was your first day?
Well, I'm kinda glad there isn't a window in here...because I woulda jumped out of it.
WBW.B.
[laughing] Ah, you kids and your suicide jokes!
S7 E5It's Only Rock and Roll
S7 E6Rip This Joint
I don't know what's happening to me. I just got paired up with this bookkeeping guy, who told me a story about accounts receivable. Not only did I know what he was talking about, I suggested he make a flowchart.
Say Flowchart again.
S7 E7Mother's Little Helper
[Red talks to Kitty over her reading The Joy of Sex]
Kitty, we don't need The Joy Of Sex.
Well, why not? It's not dirty. This book...it doesn't even have photographs, just sketches.
But they're so detailed. They draw in every single part. And it's not to scale.
[browses book] Oh, here's a fun idea. Ahahaha! Okay. Instead of throwing away our old dish towels, we can use them as blindfolds and play a sexy bedroom version of Marco Polo. Ahahahaha! Oh, come on. Don't you want to be one of those fun, older couples?
Kitty, I want us to grow old and withdraw into ourselves.
[enters kitchen] Hey, what's for lunch?
Well, I was thinking of making something, but that would mean I would have to look at a cookbook, and I don't like to learn new things from books.
Yeah, so is lunch off or, uhm... I mean, what's the lay of the lunch land here?
I don't see why I have to read a book on bodily functions. I've never read a book on eating, yet I'm extremely well fed.
But I'm not. Could I, like... seriously, like a sandwich or...
Well, you know what? Nobody is eating unless you give this book a try. Until then I quit cooking! [leaves]
[to Red] - I can't believe that I'm saying that, but please make kinky sex with my mother!
I'm sorry. Look, I've been screwed by Darwinism... never needed to evolve listening skills 'cause my looks are so highly developed.
Um, that's not how evolution works.
Yeah, sure it is. Look, say I had to catch my own food, right? But I only ate really fast animals? My feet would eventually evolve into rockets.
Man, it's amazing your brain doesn't evolve into pudding.
[Kelso is upset over losing Danielle to Fez]
How could I lose a girl to you? You don't even speak English!
Well, Kelso, look at the bright side. Danielle is a wonderful girl who likes me better than you.
Why is that the bright side?
Because, BUUUUUUUUURN!
S7 E8Angie
[repeated line] You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.
Angie totally set me up, man. I should've seen this coming when I found out she was a math major. Those girls are always bitches!
You know what your problem is, Hyde? I'm too good looking.
Hey, guys. Just to jump off topic here for a sec… When you’re dancing to… say, like, Donna Summer, do you ever wish you were on wheels?
Forman, so many parts of what you just said make me want to kick your ass.
Eric, you know what your problem is? I’m too good-looking.
S7 E9You Can't Always Get What You Want
[The gang hosts a circle at Barnett’s record shop]
I love hittin’ it.
I love that you taught me to love hittin’ it. You know, this is the first time we’ve hit it at... Hey. This place doesn’t have a name yet!
We should call it, “Hot Wax Records”... but with a “Z.” Recordz. Z’s are so rock ‘n roll!
“Funk Man’s House of Funk,” “Funk Man’s Funky House of Funk.” “Funky Man’s Funky House of Hittin’ It”! [laughs] You guys writing this down or what?!
Okay, here’s the situation. Thanksgiving Night, everything’s closed. We need to find a hundred record bins by midnight. It’s the same damn thing every year.
Wait, I have a question. …How does hair know to grow? And how far inside your head does it go? Does it touch your brain?
Okay, I think we need to get Jerry Garcia here some coffee.
Let the girl rap. I will sing to it! What do you think about my head?
The Head, that’s the name! I saved the day!
You know what would be perfect for the records? Those boxes that milk bottles come in. They’re like crates… or crepes. Crepes! How good are crepes?!
That’ll work, man. We need, like, fifty empty milk crates.
Well, how are we gonna drink all that milk? Wait! We need fifty boxes of cookies!
No, wastoid! We’ll steal the crates! It’s perfect. Milk crates.
Milk crates.
Milk crates.
Milky craties!
S7 E10Surprise, Surprise
Hey, Hyde, remember how you kept bringing it up, when Kelso nailed my sister. I never understood why, but now I get it. It's fun! So guess what -- Kelso nailed your sister! Oh, and another thing... Kelso nailed your sister.
Shut up, you little twizzler!
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Kelso nailed your sister!
[Kitty is sifting for records at Hyde and Angie's music store, Grooves]
Steven, I can't believe you thought I'd like these Sex Pistols. [returns copy of Never Mind the Bollocks LP to Hyde]
I'm sorry Mrs. Forman, [sighs] I'll make it up to you. Have you ever heard of a band called Judas Priest?
Well that's what Judas needed, a priest [laughs and looks at record] Are they spiritual?
I listen to them every Sunday.
Hey, Hyde, how's it going with the store and Kelso nailing your sister?
S7 E11Winter
This is one messed-up Christmas, man. You guys are all starting to look like elves.
[laughing while taking off elf ears and hat] That must’ve freaked you out! [laughs again]
[watches Donna play with a Gyro Wheel] It’s gonna fall off.
It’s okay.
Oh my God, it—it is gonna fall off!
It’s okay!
Let me give you my recipe for holiday cheer. Take one slop and half a bottle of schnapps, then stir freely with Fez. It is a wonderful life.
S7 E12Don't Lie To Me
[Hyde confronts Jackie over her attending a bridal fair with Fez]
Jackie, what the hell where you thinking?
Look, Steven, I know it's a crazy thing to do, its just ... I kno-I wanted to know what it was like to be planning a life and a wedding and everything, I mean, that's all I've ever wanted ... And I was starting to think it was never gonna happen with you.
[puts hands by face] Are we back on this again [faces her] Why can't you just be happy with what we've got?
BECAUSE I'M NOT!, [voice breaking] Steven ... okay, look, I need to know that we have a future together ... Can't you just give me some kind of sign or just a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe someday we'll get married?
Jackie? I don't know.
That's all you ever say. Please Steven, please just say anything besides I don't know. Anything else.
I don't know...[looks down]
Well then I can't be with you anymore.
Jackie, don't threaten me, okay? It's not gonna work.
I'm not threatening you, Steven, I can't waste anymore of my time on you if it's not gonna. happen for us ... Okay, well, at least now I know.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's That '70s Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.