[Donna and Eric talk about the gang's disco date]
Donna, I hate dancing.
Why did you go?
I like you.
So... you're in like with me?
S1 E7That Disco Episode
[The guys are smoking in the basement]
I went to the mall today... and I bought a pair of new shoes [pause] and they're the coolest kicks in the cave.
You know, I thought about it... and I’m going to the disco. Just on the off-chance that they might mix up a little rock ‘n roll, man.
Yeah, well I have something to say. I went to the mall today... and I bought a pair of new shoes... and they're the coolest kicks in the cave!
So, no more for Kelso. He's toasted!
I would like some toast if you're making some. Or food of any kind would be good. I am starving!
Oh! I read somewhere that there are these people in India who fast, man! Yeah. [laughs] And their minds are so advanced, they can actually think themselves to death, man!
Well... I hope I'm not doing that right now. My mind's always doing things that I don't even know about.
Man, we always think of so many brilliant things down here! But then later, I can't remember any of them! I mean, they're brilliant, man!
...Someone go make toast right now.
Hey, we should record our conversation, man. Yeah! Then we can play it back and write it down! I'll bet that's how the writers at National Lampoon do it!
[laughs] Yeah, well... I read somewhere that there's these people in France!
What do they do?
You see, they're incredibly... French!
See, that's brilliant, man! I'm gettin' the tape recorder! [gets up and leaves the circle]
Where's my toast, you idiots?!
S1 E8Drive-In
I am telling you. I heard it. The devil is singing backwards on the record.
It's not the devil, man! It's Congress. They passed a secret law to put backward messages in our records, man! They wanna kill rock 'n roll because they know it makes us horny, man!
Doesn't pretty much everything make us horny?
Cartoons make me horny! Oh, and food!
I understand. Everybody wants their first makeout to be special, in some place romantic like Ireland or Disney World.
S1 E9Thanksgiving
[Donna leaves after finding out that Eric kissed Laurie's friend, Kate]
Hey Donna, you wanna talk?
I guess she didn't take it well.
Take what well? [looks at Kelso]
[smiles] Eric made out with Kate.
Anything else?
Your son is a whore!
[Red berates Eric over kissing Kate]
Donna's such a sweet kid. How could you do this to her?
I don't know. It's like bad things always happen to me, like I have bad luck or something.
[slowly] Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you ... is because you're a dumbass. Now fix it!
S1 E10Sunday, Bloody Sunday
[to Jackie and Kelso] Finally! Where have you guys been?
We had to look for the paper, and eat... and then some stuff happened, you know.
Your shirt's on inside-out.
Yeah, that's the stuff.
The three true branches of the government are: military, corporate and Hollywood.
S1 E11Eric's Buddy
I miss Eric.
Well, you still have me.
It's not the same, Jackie! I can talk to Eric about things that... that I can't talk about with you.
OK, well like what?
Well, for instance, the annoying things that you do.
MICHAEL!
See, I can't talk to you.
FFrank
Number 10, your order is ready.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
FFrank
Number 10, I have limited counter space. Please remove your hot dog.
Al-right! I don't see why you can't just serve us our food Frank! We are paying customers, you know!
FFrankie
Hey, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam, so that I could serve hot dogs to teenagers.
You have both your legs Frank...
FFrank
Like I said, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam.
S1 E12The Best Christmas Ever
Ah, come on, Hyde, did you have to write your name in the snow so close to the tree?
So, Laurie, who are you seeing up at the college?
Oh, I like to date around.
[coughs] Slut!
Bless you.
Thanks, Mom.
S1 E13Ski Trip
[Kelso hitches a ride on a truck.]
GGus
Well, hello there!
Hey, thanks for stopping. Are you going all the way to Alpine Valley?
GGus
Oh, I'm going... wherever you're going!
Wow, that's lucky!
GGus
So, did it hurt?
What?
GGus
When you fell down from heaven!
No, I'm fine!
I love the snow! I am a winter nymph! I love America! [passes out]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's That '70s Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.