Stargate SG-1 · Season 8
Look, I can see this isn't really your forte... so why don't you just put the gun down, before you get hurt.
Just don't come any closer!
I know your gun isn't real... however... mine is! [he draws his gun and points it at Joe]
Oh God! I'm sorry I'm sorry you're right it's just a toy!
Between you and me, I totally see the analogy. Burns as Goa'uld.
Thank you!
Jack?
He's a barber.
Broke into your house?
Yeah...
Second week in a row.
Mm-hmm.
Alarm.
I'm thinking "dog".
You could try locking your front door.
[to Teal'c] I know the hair makes you look different, but didn't you used to be more gold colored?
If General O'Neill had a stone as well shouldn't he've been able to see aspects of his life?
Theoretically, yes he should.
[we see flashes of Joe at a bowling alley. He rolls a strike]
...Thursday nights... Bowling League...
You saw that?
You've got game son.
Wait a minute. Jack, you've been seeing parts of the life of a barber in Indiana for seven years, and you never mentioned it?
Yeah, sure I did. I know I did.
No, no, you didn't, sir.
I didn't?
You didn't find it the least bit odd?
Actually no. I found it quite relaxing.
Lord Ba'al was wise to send a representative.
(in an Old Man Voice) I would have killed him with my own hands!
The odds aren't exactly in our favor.
They never are, Daniel Jackson.
Jacob!
Jack, we've got a problem. We need to talk.
Hi! Hello. How are ya? Long time, no see. What's doing? What's up? Hey, buddy!
I'm sorry, Jack. It's good to see you again. Congratulations on your promotion.
Thanks.
You deserve it.
Yes. Well... What's up?
The Replicators. They've launched an all out attack on the Goa'uld. If the Goa'uld can't find a way to stop them, the Replicators will easily overrun our galaxy, in a matter of weeks.
Why didn't you say so?
[Jacob gives O'Neill a look and walks off]
[after a pause, hurrying after Jacob] I'm sorry. You said we have a problem, not a big galactic emergency.
[holding up a Tok'ra receiver used to track down Goa'uld fleet] You know, we could have used something like this a long time ago.
The High Council never thought they could trust you with it.
What changed their mind?
Nothing. They don't know I took it.
Ah.
My relationship with the council is still a little strained.
It's not going to get any better if you keep stealing stuff.
[Jacob gives O'Neill a look]
No complaints! I'll take anything I can get: Weapons, receivers, silverware...
[About Thor]
Don't be afraid to remind him that we've saved his cute little grey bum several times.
[smugly] My, this is an occasion. You know that bitter taste in your throat? It's kind of wrapped around your uvula? That's what's left of your pride.
Sir we are receiving a message from Thor. He said he is ready to transport...
[Sam is beamed out]
You were saying?
Never mind.
I've got a better idea, instead of helping you, why don't we sit around and watch you get your ass kicked? [grinning] That way you'll be dead, and we'll be glad.
You cannot be serious.
Yes, I can. I just choose not to, some of the time.
With your insolence you're dooming not just your world but all of humanity.
I think big.
[Harriman and Siler are in the gate room, standing at the bottom of the ramp, on which stands a hologram of an obviously-impatient Ba'al]
I'm sure he'll be here any second now. [awkward pause] So umm…
I am so sorry. I was just finishing up a lovely brunch.
Impudence.
No, tuna.
Oh, please don't tell me.
Anubis.
I asked you not to tell me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
