Joe Spencer quotes from Stargate SG-1

Joe Spencer

[to Teal'c] I know the hair makes you look different, but didn't you used to be more gold colored?

Look, I can see this isn't really your forte... so why don't you just put the gun down, before you get hurt.

Joe Spencer

Just don't come any closer!

I know your gun isn't real... however... mine is! [he draws his gun and points it at Joe]

Joe Spencer

Oh God! I'm sorry I'm sorry you're right it's just a toy!

Joe Spencer

Between you and me, I totally see the analogy. Burns as Goa'uld.

Thank you!

Dr. Jackson

Jack?

He's a barber.

Dr. Jackson

Broke into your house?

Yeah...

Dr. Jackson

Second week in a row.

Mm-hmm.

Dr. Jackson

Alarm.

I'm thinking "dog".

Joe Spencer

You could try locking your front door.

Lt. Col. Carter

If General O'Neill had a stone as well shouldn't he've been able to see aspects of his life?

Dr. Jackson

Theoretically, yes he should.

...Thursday nights... Bowling League...

Joe Spencer

You saw that?

You've got game son.

Dr. Jackson

Wait a minute. Jack, you've been seeing parts of the life of a barber in Indiana for seven years, and you never mentioned it?

Yeah, sure I did. I know I did.

Lt. Col. Carter

No, no, you didn't, sir.

I didn't?

Dr. Jackson

You didn't find it the least bit odd?

Actually no. I found it quite relaxing.