Jacob Carter quotes from Stargate SG-1

Jacob Carter

But whatever you really analyze in that mountain, deep space or no deep space, it can't be nearly as exciting as the real thing. I'm talking about NASA Sam. I'm talking about you actually going to space someday.

Jacob Carter

Obviously, I'm gonna need Dr. Jackson, and there might be some complicated mathematical calculations to be done, Sam would be a big help, too. [Jack clears his throat] Of course, Colonel O'Neill is --- always fun to have around.

Col. O'Neill

I retired myself one time. Couldn't stay away.

Jacob Carter

From your analysis of deep space radar telemetry...

Col. O'Neill

(flatly) Well it's just so damn fascinating.

I'm sure it is. Otherwise you wouldn't be receiving the Air Medal.

Col. O'Neill

We have our moments. (O'Neill, General Hammond, and Samantha Carter all look at each other and smile) Uh...will you excuse me? We just don't get out of Cheyenne Mountain nearly enough. I'm gonna go grab some air...outside. General, Captain, General...waiter. (as he walks away)

Well, believe it or not, we need your help, Dad.

Jacob

What? The Pentagon wants me to deliver a message to God when I get up there?

Not exactly.

Jacob

Well, I don't plan to see the other guy.

(in a Normal Voice) Apparently, I'm the oldest and wisest among us.

Oh, geez.

Dr. Jackson

[Over Goa'uld radio]: I am a Lord! My identity is the Great and Powerful Oz!

Dr. Jackson

[Over Goa'uld radio]: I am Oz, listen!

Lame trick, This is a deception!

Jacob

Alright, we're almost finished, Sam's just finishing up.

Dr. Jackson

Uh...that's good 'cause I don't think they bought my act.

Jacob

Why? Who'd you say you were?

Dr. Jackson

The uh...Great and Powerful Oz.

Jacob

SAM!

Dr. Jackson

We were hoping you could kinda... um, like... beam them out.

Jacob

Beam them out? What am I, Scotty?

Col. O'Neill

Ah! Wait a minute! Just... stop, hold it. If you're about to say you're gonna explain along the way , I'm gonna lose it! I've just about had it with the way the Tok'ra do business. I wanna know EXACTLY what we're dealing with here. Every mission detail you've got right now, or we go nowhere!

Jacob Carter

[Smiling] I was gonna tell ya, Jack.

Col. O'Neill

[Quietly] OK. Never mind.

Looks like a circle with a cross in it.

Dr. Jackson

Uh, that could be it.

Okay, what do I do?

Jacob

Pretty sure you touch it.

Col. O'Neill

Pretty sure???

Jacob

Last time a Tok'ra was sent to attempt this we never heard from him again.

Col. O'Neill

Well that's news!

Dr. Jackson

No, I think that's it.

You THINK?

Dr. Jackson

Okay I'm... I'm sure that's it.

Dr. Jackson

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!

Col. O'Neill

HEY!

Dr. Jackson

No, no, sorry. Uh, that's it, I'm sure.

Jacob

Try!

What does Selmak say?

Jacob

Try again!

Dr. Jackson

Very helpful, thanks!

Jacob

Take that to the secondary cargo hold. We need to make room for the Stargate.

Col. O'Neill

Hey! Don't scuff the walls.

Col. O'Neill

I want the ship back the way we found it.

Jacob

We know, Jack. I still don't think it's necessary for you to be here.

Col. O'Neill

Sorry. Not lettin' her out of my sight.

Jacob

My mission is to oversee the relocation of the Tok'ra base. What's yours again?

Col. O'Neill

Protect Earth's big, fat asset. We've got 1 ,000 engineers and scientists just droolin' to go through this thing.

Jacob

You really think that's wise?

Col. O'Neill

Don't start with me, Jake.

Jacob

Remember when you tried to retrofit a death glider?

Col. O'Neill

Yes, I have that memory.

Jacob

This is vastly more complicated.

Col. O'Neill

Which is exactly why we're "loaning" it to you in exchange for flying lessons.

Jacob

You know what I mean. Leave the ship with us.

Col. O'Neill

Not a chance.

Jacob

You have no idea how dangerous this thing is.

Col. O'Neill

Hey! We were smart enough to steal it in the first place, which is more than the Tok'ra could do.

This is the sun Vorash is orbiting.

Jacob

We want to blow it up.

Col. O'Neill

Wow...

Dr. Jackson

That's uh...

Ambitious.

Daniel Jackson

Can we communicate with them?

Jacob

And say what?

Daniel Jackson

I don't know, "don't shoot"?

Col. O'Neill

Excuse me. I distinctly remember someone saying we're not going to make it. I think we made it.

Jacob

I'm sorry, I overreacted. At the time, it looked very much like we weren't going to make it.

Col. O'Neill

Yes, well, maybe next time you'll just wait and see.

Jacob

And blow the last chance I might ever have to be right?

Col. O'Neill

What?

[grinning] Welcome to my life.