A character in Stargate SG-1
Played by Richard Dean Anderson
Stargate SG-1 · 1,358 quotes
Most-quoted character in Stargate SG-1: in 752 of its 1,358 quotes
Most scenes with: Daniel Jackson (209), Samantha Carter (189), Teal'c (101)
Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Samantha Carter, Doctor Daniel Jackson, allow me to introduce Lieutenant General Vidrine.
Colonel.
Jack O'NeillGeneral.
Major.
General.
Doctor.
General.
General Hammond has told me nothing but good things.
Jack O'NeillHas he, Sir? [Joking] Well, then I'm sure he's left something out.
Such as?
[O'Neill's smile drops]
Jack O'Neill[Into Radio] Teal'c? Ya there, buddy?
How does she fly, son?
The vehicle performed within expected parameters.
Jack O'NeillWoohoo! [Vidrine and Hammond look at him, stunned] Sorry Sir. I couldn't help but get caught up in Teal'c's enthusiasm.
In all seriousness, if that's all right with you, Colonel? How effective can a single fighter be against a potential fleet of Goa'uld warships?
That is what these tests endeavour to determine.
Let's find out. What's next?
Jack O'NeillI take second seat for an air-to-air live fire test.
Our SGC control room will serve as Mission Control, Sir.
Light that candle, boys.
Jack O'NeillYes, Sir.
[Teal'c and O'Neill head back to the glider.]
Does General Vidrine wish to perform some sort of candle-burning ritual?
Jack O'NeillYes, that's it, exactly.
Jack O'Neill and Teal'c are in the X-301. The glider has been taken over by an auto-pilot mechanism.]
[Over the radio]: Jack or Teal'c, please respond.
Jack O'NeillFlight, Digger One. We read you. We have lost control of the craft to some sort of hidden recall device that apparently the scum-sucking, slimy, snake-ass Apophis installed in his death gliders. Over.
Col. O'NeillJust so we're clear on this, sir, it's gonna be me, Teal'c and the great outdoors. That means no cellphones, fax machines, not another living soul for miles. We'll be unavailable, inaccessible.
Incommunicado.
Col. O'NeillMinnesota, sir.
I stand corrected.
Col. O'NeillIf there's an emergency at the base, better plan ahead and tell me now. If Thor needs me, he's gonna have to beam me up. If it's the Tok'ra... forget it!
There appears to be no fish here, O'Neill.
Col. O'NeillT... It's not about the actual fish themselves...the fish are not important in this context. It's about fishing... the act of fishing itself.
(in an Old Man's Voice) One enemy is easier to target than many. Our spies believe that Apophis has agreed to the meeting because he is willing to use such an alliance to topple the system lords. Afterwards, he will deal with Heru-Ur. If he succeeds...
Col. O'NeillGalactic badness! Huge!
Col. O'NeillAh! Wait a minute! Just... stop, hold it. If you're about to say you're gonna explain along the way , I'm gonna lose it! I've just about had it with the way the Tok'ra do business. I wanna know EXACTLY what we're dealing with here. Every mission detail you've got right now, or we go nowhere!
[Smiling] I was gonna tell ya, Jack.
Col. O'Neill[Quietly] OK. Never mind.
Col. O'Neill[sarcastically, picking up books Jackson dropped] Sure you got everything?
Wanna try to reprogram that mine without the proper translation?
Col. O'NeillThought of a laptop?
Well, I had one, I just couldn't get Beck's Ancient Phoenician Symbology on CD at archeology.com, so…
Col. O'Neill[pushes Jackson's glasses back up his nose]
[Jackson and Carter are reading Jackson's books while O'Neill plays with his watch]
Col. O'NeillDo you understand any of that?
It's all Phoenician to me, Sir.
Looks like a circle with a cross in it.
Uh, that could be it.
Okay, what do I do?
Pretty sure you touch it.
Col. O'NeillPretty sure???
Last time a Tok'ra was sent to attempt this we never heard from him again.
Col. O'NeillWell that's news!
[Carter stares at her father, seemingly a bit scared]
No, I think that's it.
You THINK?
Okay I'm... I'm sure that's it.
[Carter moves carefully, preparing to touch the symbol on the mine]
WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!
[Carter flinches back, startled]
Col. O'NeillHEY!
No, no, sorry. Uh, that's it, I'm sure.
So what do we know about this new guy?
Col. O'NeillNot much.
I hope he's not a spit-and-polish, brass tacks...
Col. O'Neill[Interrupts him] Hard-ass?
I was building up to that
A few moments later after Major General Bauer has delivered a very terse introduction of himself to the SGC Personnel
Col. O'NeillAlways leave 'em wanting more... I guess.
Col. O'NeillMay I remind you that if it weren't for SG-1, you'd be sitting here with a snake in your head instead of your head up your a-
[Visibly angry] Colonel!
Col. O'NeillI'm not leaving until I get what I came for.
Oh, and what are you going to do?
Col. O'NeillWell, I was thinkin'... [he draws his sidearm and points it at Kinsey] ...about shootin' ya.
Jack. What are you doing?
Col. O'NeillGettin' a little dirty for ya Maybourne?
Colonel, have you completely taken leave of your senses?
Col. O'NeillI've been hanging around Maybourne. What does that say?
How dare you come into my house waving a gun!
Col. O'NeillNot waving! Pointing! Sit down.
[Kinsey sits down.]
Col. O'Neill[Gesturing with his sidearm] I'll give you a choice. White meat, or dark meat
Given the chance, half of all American citizens won't even vote, and the half that do vote are too stupid to know what they're doing.
Col. O'NeillWhich explains how you got elected.
Daniel JacksonMichael Shanks · 433 quotes
Samantha CarterAmanda Tapping · 349 quotes
Teal'cChristopher Judge · 180 quotes
Cameron MitchellBen Browder · 128 quotes
Vala Mal DoranClaudia Black · 90 quotes
George HammondDon S. Davis · 77 quotes
Jacob CarterCarmen Argenziano · 32 quotes
Bra'tacTony Amendola · 26 quotes
Hank LandryBeau Bridges · 25 quotes
Jonas QuinnCorin Nemec · 24 quotes
Martin LloydWillie Garson · 21 quotes
Ba'alCliff Simon · 17 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
