Martin Lloyd quotes from Stargate SG-1

Martin Lloyd

You think I'm so stupid, I go out my own front door?

Martin Lloyd

Can I come out now, Murray?

Martin Lloyd

I've got a concept meeting in ten minutes, and if I'm not there on time, well... well, they start without me.

Martin Lloyd

A top secret government program involving instantaneous travel to other solar systems by means of a device known as a Stargate!

Col. O'Neill

Sounds like a good idea for a TV show…if you're into that sort of thing.

Martin Lloyd

Colonel, let's not play games. If it isn't true then why did you come here?

Col. O'Neill

The truth! There is a top-secret government program called project Stargate.

Martin Lloyd

I knew it!

Col. O'Neill

But it has nothing to do with space travel.

Martin Lloyd

What does it have to do with?

Col. O'Neill

[conspiratorially] Magnets!

Martin Lloyd

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Col. O'Neill

[dramatically] No…I've already said too much!

Martin Lloyd

So, you still don't believe me? I'm an Alien!

Col. O'Neill

You look pretty human to me.

Martin Lloyd

I can't explain it Colonel, I just have a gut feeling, like we have something in common.

Col. O'Neill

Well, that's very flattering, but I'm not an alien.

Col. O'Neill

How do ya lose a spaceship?

Martin Lloyd

Well, my memory isn't so good. Sometimes, I get a little confused. I think it might be the medication.

Col. O'Neill

Yeah, well, there ya go.

Martin Lloyd

Don't ya wanna know how I found you?

Col. O'Neill

Uh… OK!

Martin Lloyd

In your car, I noticed a map of the Sleep-Rite Motel Chain. I checked every one in town.

Col. O'Neill

There's two!

Martin Lloyd

I'm surprised a man in your position wouldn't take more precautions to maintain your cover.

Col. O'Neill

Marty I'm not undercover!

Martin Lloyd

You think I'm making this all up. Look at this.

Col. O'Neill

Yes… It all makes sense now.

Martin Lloyd

This is for scene 23? You think they have apples on an alien planet?

Why not? They speak English.

Martin Lloyd

Look, get some kiwis, and spray-paint them red.

[pulls out script] OK, so now it'll go "Nick walks into a garden of kiwi trees, says 'How like Eden this planet is,' and bites into a painted kiwi."

Martin Lloyd

OK, you're the prop master, right? So you're a master of props. So...figure it out.

Uh, I'm having trouble with scene 27. It says I'm out of phase, so I can pass my hand through solid matter, or walk through walls.

Director

Yeah, yeah, cos you're out of phase.

Martin Lloyd

Um, exactly.

So, how come I don't fall through the floor?

Martin Lloyd

We'll have to get back to you on that.

We could always go back to the way it was in the script.

Director

No, we can't. We've already established that one shot stuns and two shots kills, and Victor shot everybody twice.

Martin Lloyd

So three shots disintegrates them!

Director

I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, because that is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. [walks away] [this is an obvious reference to the way Zat guns originally worked]

Martin Lloyd

[to writer] Why are you looking at me like I'm an idiot? Why are you even on set? Go write something!

Dr. Jackson

Are you serious?

Martin Lloyd

What?

Dr. Jackson

How did we escape?

Vala

They.

Dr. Jackson

Fine, they, they, they. How did they escape?

Martin Lloyd

Isn't it obvious?

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Even if the valley wasn't filled with Jaffa, we couldn't never have made it to the Gate and dialed out in under...10 seconds.

Martin Lloyd

Good. See, that's why we're here! So, what do you think, 30 seconds? Ma-maybe not such a round number. How about...38!

Lt. Col. Carter

We're running another diagnostic, but right now we're stumped. Power's getting through to the capacitors, but for some reason the charge isn't holding. That's causing the control crystal to send feedback into the interface and reset the programming code of the base computer's dialing protocol.

Martin Lloyd

Whoa! That was awesome! Say that again!

Lt. Col. Carter

...No.

Martin Lloyd

Oh. Uh, everybody take five. I, I gotta get that down before I forget it. [to self] The power getting to the flux capacitor, but feedback is not feeding back into the feedback...face. This is gold!