Jack O'Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

You sure you're up to this?

Teal'c

As always.

Col. O'Neill

You're an animal.

Col. Maybourne

What happened?

Maj. Carter

They self-destructed.

Teal'c

The destruction appears to be complete.

Maj. Carter

That's a lot of damage.

Col. O'Neill

Coat of paint. A little touch-up… it'll be fine.

Teal'c

Those who escaped still possess the knowledge they obtained from being linked to your minds.

Col. O'Neill

That's creepy.

Maj. Carter

So you built that…Stargate?

Yes.

Dr. Jackson

[to O'Neill] Way smarter than we are.

Col. O'Neill

Ours is bigger.

No harm will come to you. The Tollan will guarantee it.

Col. O'Neill

Is that a 'money back if you're not completely alive' guarantee?

[to Teal'c, sternly] You disregarded my warning.

Col. O'Neill

[pleased] Mine too. Well done.

We are honored that you have agreed to participate in Triad. Your seeker will decide which one of you will be archon.

Col. O'Neill

Seeker? Archon? [to Daniel] Daniel?

Col. O'Neill

Well, this just became a piece of cake, a walk in the park, a day at the beach!

Dr. Jackson

An accident waiting for a place to happen.

Col. O'Neill

Mr. Negative...

Can we determine what threat they pose?

Col. O'Neill

Apparently all desserts on base are in grave danger.

Urgo

It's death or me. Me or death. You've got to decide. Me or death. [No answer.] Well?

Col. O'Neill

We're thinking.

Urgo

I want to live, I want to experience the universe, and I want to eat pie.

Col. O'Neill

Who doesn't?

Urgo

You are so smart, Samantha. I love that about you.

Col. O'Neill

Carter?

Major Carter

The technology implanted in our brains, sir. We're looking at some kind of visual communication interface controlled hallucination.

Col. O'Neill

So…I…what?

Urgo

He gets confused. By the way: who is Mary Steenburgen?

Urgo

Years from now, when you're thinking about me, you're gonna say, ooohhh, how did I ever get along without that wonderful, constant companion? Woof!

Col. O'Neill

Years from now?

Dr. Jackson

Woof?!

Col. O'Neill

Well, let's ask the question. Do we want to give up SG-1 and walk around the rest of our lives with...him yapping away inside our heads?

Urgo

[whispering to Carter] Yes. Say 'yes.'

Col. O'Neill

Or do we want to take the chance so we can get on with our lives?

Urgo

[whispering to Carter] No. Say 'no.'

Col O'Neill

[derisive] I'm sure you'll enjoy Urgo's presence just as much as we have.

Urgo

Ha, I knew you liked me!