Urgo quotes from Stargate SG-1

Urgo

Wait! I can be dull. Want me to be dull? [tonelessly] What a nice shade of gray. How about some white bread with mayonnaise? Want to watch golf on television?

Urgo

Sam, Sammy! You like me. I remind you of your Uncle Irving. Bubbeleh! [he pops his finger in his cheek]

Urgo

You know, you were just thinking of that island Maui? With the big beaches and the little bikinis? Well, that's where we should go ... [Sam looks at Jack knowing. He shakes his head as if he has no idea what Urgo's talking about]

Urgo

It's death or me. Me or death. You've got to decide. Me or death. [No answer.] Well?

Col. O'Neill

We're thinking.

Maj. Carter

A strong enough EM pulse can knock out most electronic-based technologies. It would be harmless to us, but it should render Urgo impotent.

Urgo

Could you, ah, rephrase that?

Urgo

I want to live, I want to experience the universe, and I want to eat pie.

Col. O'Neill

Who doesn't?

Urgo

You are so smart, Samantha. I love that about you.

Col. O'Neill

Carter?

Major Carter

The technology implanted in our brains, sir. We're looking at some kind of visual communication interface controlled hallucination.

Col. O'Neill

So…I…what?

Urgo

He gets confused. By the way: who is Mary Steenburgen?

Urgo

Years from now, when you're thinking about me, you're gonna say, ooohhh, how did I ever get along without that wonderful, constant companion? Woof!

Col. O'Neill

Years from now?

Dr. Jackson

Woof?!

Col. O'Neill

Well, let's ask the question. Do we want to give up SG-1 and walk around the rest of our lives with...him yapping away inside our heads?

Urgo

[whispering to Carter] Yes. Say 'yes.'

Col. O'Neill

Or do we want to take the chance so we can get on with our lives?

Urgo

[whispering to Carter] No. Say 'no.'

Col O'Neill

[derisive] I'm sure you'll enjoy Urgo's presence just as much as we have.

Urgo

Ha, I knew you liked me!

Urgo

Count me out. I don't want to do it. He's mean and boring and—and—and... mean.

Col. O'Neill

We're giving you a chance here. Him or death.

Urgo

No, I—

Col. O'Neill

Death or him.

Urgo

Oh dear.

Col. O'Neill

Well?

Urgo

I'm thinking.

Urgo

I didn't mean to!

Teal'c

It was not his intention.

Urgo

Whats this?

Major Carter

Its a defibrillator.

Urgo

Ah interesting. Thank you. Is it difibulating right now?

Major Carter

He...uh...it seems to crave new experiences. You use the paddles to administer an electric shock to peoples hearts who are beating irregularly.

Urgo

Ah. Then they feel better. Does it feel good?

Urgo

Does it hurt?

Urgo

Whoa, it hurts.

Dr. Jackson

I would think so.

Urgo

Let's try it.

Dr. Jackson

I don't think so.

Urgo

It's not going to kill you, is it? Or is it?