Jack O&#039;Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

Don't shoot! Just let them tend to Xe'ls.

Col. O'Neill

How do I know you're the real Daniel?

…Because.

Col. O'Neill

[shrugs shoulders] …yeah, okay.

S2 E13 Spirits

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XLXe'ls

Tekaya, destroy this place!

Wait! You promised to listen.

XLXe'ls

What they don't know won't hurt them. Isn't that what your leaders said? Their word means nothing!

TTekaya

As would mine! I gave my word to this one [indicates Jackson] so we could save you.

XLXe'ls

Very well. I am listening but nothing might sway me from punishing you.

Col. O'Neill

For what? Showing Tonane who you really are? You've been posing as their gods for crying out loud.

TTekaya

Is that truly what you believe we do? When we drove away the Goa'uld a hundred years ago, we posed as their Spirits to guide and protect them without interferring. And now...

XLXe'ls

You have disrupted the harmony between us. In time, they will learn to fear us, take the key, and forge weapons against us.

No. Tonane's people are from this world. Even now they value the natural world above technology.

Col. O'Neill

Trust them. You shouldn't be posing as their gods.

XLXe'ls

That still doesn't erase the second transgression.

Col. O'Neill

Fine. I give you my word. We will not try to mine the metal.

TTekaya

Even if we could take your word, your superiors will not be swayed by your oath.

Col. O'Neill

Then don't take my word for it. Shut down your Stargate. That way, no one can come to your world unless you allow it.

TTekaya

(Looking at Xe'ls) Star travel is useless to us. Let's shut down the gate. Our friend Tonane is wise, as is our friend Jack.

XLXe'ls

And so he is.

S2 E13 Spirits

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GHGen. Hammond

Colonel, I need some documents hand delivered to the Groom Lake Facility.

Col. O'Neill

Are these documents sensitive enough to warrant a three-man team with a Jaffa escort, sir?

GHGen. Hammond

Absolutely.

S2 E14 Touchstone

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Col. O'Neill

This where you're keepin' the little green men?

A5Area 51 officer

There are no alien life forms at Area 51.

Col. O'Neill

[to Teal'c] Present company excluded, of course.

S2 E14 Touchstone

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Now, if we can't track the Touchstone, there may still be a way to track the second Gate on Earth.

Col. O'Neill

Oh, sure! Let's just put out an APB for a huge honkin' two-story metal ring with 39 little pictures all nicely engraved on it.

S2 E14 Touchstone

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Col. O'Neill

I'm telling you, I am absolutely fine. There is nothing cruvus with me!

[Everyone in the room stares at him]

Col. O'Neill

What?

You just said there's nothing "cruvus" with you.

Col. O'Neill

What? No I didn't.

Yes, you did.

Col. O'Neill

I did not.

Yes, you did.

Col. O'Neill

Didn't.

Did.

Col. O'Neill

Didn't.

Did.

Col. O'Neill

[annoyed] Cruvus?! What is that?!

S2 E15 The Fifth Race

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[Teal'c and Jack are boxing.]

What is the purpose of these gloves, O'Neill?

Col. O'Neill

So we don't hurt each other.

[Teal'c looks at him doubtfully.]

Col. O'Neill

I'll be honest with you, Teal'c, it's so you don't hurt me.

If our purpose is to not cause each other harm, why then are we doing battle, O'Neill?

Col. O'Neill

What can I tell you Teal'c, it's boxing. It's fun, c'mon!

[Jack begins dancing. When Teal'c doesn't move, he stops]:

Col. O'Neill

C'mon Teal'c, you gotta move around a little. You gotta dance!

I am confused, O'Neill. Are we preparing to dance or to do battle?

Col. O'Neill

Teal'c, if you don't move around, you're a sittin' duck. You're a target!

[O'Neill lands a punch on Teal'c, who still is not moving]:

Col. O'Neill

Ha! Like that!

[Teal'c looks down at the spot on his chest where O'Neill hit him, then looks at O'Neill with raised eyebrows]:

Col. O'Neill

I'm sorry, did I hurt you?

I am fine.

Col. O'Neill

Well that's why you gotta move aroun-

[Teal'c hits O'Neill in the head, knocking him over]:

How was that, O'Neill?

Col. O'Neill

That's good...that's...good. But, uh, think about keeping your hands up...Is my nose bleedin'?

You are fine.

S2 E15 The Fifth Race

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Col. O'Neill

I'm back.

What happened?

Do you still possess the knowledge of the Ancients?

Col. O'Neill

Nope. Don't remember a thing. [To Daniel] But ya know that meaning-of-life stuff?

[Daniel nods slightly]:

Col. O'Neill

I think we're gonna be alright...

S2 E15 The Fifth Race

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Col. O'Neill

Look, I know I should know this by now. I swear it'll be the last time I ask. These wormholes we go through, they're not always there, right?

No, sir. They can only form between two open gates.

Col. O'Neill

What's with the worm part? The worm thing. I-I don't get that.

That's just a metaphor.

Col. O'Neill

Right. I knew that.

S2 E16 A Matter of Time

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[Watching the video feed from the doomed men and women of SG-10, slowed by the time dilation effects of the black hole's gravity]

There's nothing we can do to save them?

Col. O'Neill

They've had it, sir.

You know that for a fact, Colonel?

Col. O'Neill

No, sir, I don't. But have a look at Major Boyd's face. What does that tell you?

Very well. Disengage the Stargate.

Sir, by some fluke of Stargate technology, we are witnessing something that the laws of physics say we can't possibly witness.

Col. O'Neill

(angrily) We are witnessing good men dying in slow motion, Captain.

(embarrassed) You're right, sir.

Shut it down.

S2 E16 A Matter of Time

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CCColonel Cromwell

Man, she is--

Col. O'Neill

Way smarter than we are. I know.

S2 E16 A Matter of Time

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Col. O'Neill

Oh, yeah. Yeah. We're pulling some major gees now.

CCColonel Cromwell

I feel like I put on a couple hundred pounds.

Col. O'Neill

I wasn't going to say anything.

S2 E16 A Matter of Time

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Col. O'Neill

What do you want?

To live.

Col. O'Neill

Can't help you there. That's between you and your god. Oh, wait a minute! You are your god! That's a problem.

S2 E17 Serpent's Song

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I am worth far more to you than you will admit.

Col. O'Neill

You tell me what are you worth?

Your people, they are still primitive. They will be destroyed.

Col. O'Neill

You don't look like you're up to it.

Not me. There is another.

Col. O'Neill

Yeah? Who?

There is much you would learn from me, Tau'ri. [breathes heavily] But for that knowledge there is a price.

[Col. O'Neill rolls his eyes.]

A new host.

Col. O'Neill

[raises his eyebrows] A host?

So that I may live. In exchange for all the knowledge of the Goa'uld. The secrets of star travel, our weapons, our power.

Col. O'Neill

All that…

In time, more.

Col. O'Neill

[leans down] Go to hell.

A single human life is worth so much you would risk a world?

Col. O'Neill

That's right. That's why they call us the good guys.

[Apophis lies back and exhales.]

Col. O'Neill

Doc, let me know when he dies.

S2 E17 Serpent's Song

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[SG-1 is discussing Sokar]

Col. O'Neill

Which is he?

I don't know, but his portion of Tuat, or the otherworld, was filled with lakes of fire, where the wicked were thrown into as punishment after torture and mutilation.

Col. O'Neill

Hell.