[returns with a ladder and several paint cans] All right, you two foul mouths. As punishment for foulin' the air in me restaurant with your foul words, you're gonna give the Krusty Krab a fresh coat of paint from top to bottom. [jams his foot into a rock then hops on one leg, he screams as dropping everything] OH, MY [dolphin chirp] FOOT! WHAT [dolphin chirps] GENIUS PUT A [dolphin chirp] ROCK IN A [dolphin chirp] PATH?! CAN'T YOU SEE I GOT A [boat horn] FOOT HERE?! OH, [seal bark]!
[Mr. Krabs continues saying a bunch of swear words while SpongeBob and Patrick count the swear words he used]
AND A WHOLE LOT OF [boat horn], WITH A SIDE OF [dolphin chirp], AND A HEAPING HELPING OF [boat horn], AND A BOATLOAD OF [boat horn]!
PatrickNine.
AW, [seal bark and seagull squawk] GRABBIN'... [SpongeBob's alarm clock blares and he then cries in pain]
[cuts to his 13 fingers] That's all 13, Patrick! [gasps] We're gonna tell your MOM, Mr. Krabs!
No! Please! Not my mommy!
Patrick
D'oh, come on, you're just flipping Patties.
Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds! [Patrick flips over a rock with his foot and makes a sizzling noise] Why don't you go home, Patrick? You can compete in the "Laying Under a Rock All Day" Games.
Patrick
Well, at least, I don't polish my fingernails!
[gasps] You take that back! [a gleam shows at the tip of his fingernails]
Patrick
[mocking] Fingernails, fingernails, fingernails!
You don't even have fingernails!
Patrick
I cannot believe what I am hearing!
How can you hear?! You don't have ears either!
Patrick
Er...Holes, holes!
Patrick
Yellow!
[The Deep fry pole vault.]
Win this one for the Krusty Krab.
[flips over the poles and the deep fry and splats down on the circle drawn in the ground. The crowd gasps. SpongeBob forms a number one sign and the crowd cheers]
Win this one because I told you to.
Patrick
Because you told me to! [flips over the poles, but lands on the handle of the deep fryer, flinging it at the crowd and turning them into fish sticks. A vendor walks up and turns on a heat lamp]
Fish sticks! Get yer fish sticks here!
[Heavy metal music plays. The bell rings. SpongeBob tears off his blue robe, showing off his extremely large, muscular body. Patrick rips off his own green robe, underneath which he is wearing a business suit. He tears off the business suit, also revealing an extremely large, muscular body. The two dive at each other, screaming, until they collide. They wrestle and continue to wind up in twisted positions. They spin around and wind up wrestling with themselves. They realize this, and dive back at each other. Patrick sits on top of SpongeBob, holding his foot]
Patrick
Forget the Chum Bucket! This is personal. [takes off SpongeBob's shoe and licks his foot slowly. SpongeBob screams in agony. The two wrestle again. SpongeBob sits on Patrick's chest and screams as he lifts up a pencil with the eraser side pointing toward Patrick; he slowly brings it down to his name tag and erases the "Pat" in "Patrick," leaving "Rick"] No! My name's not Rick! [tackles SpongeBob in a puff of smoke]
[the two wrestle once more before they stop]
Patrick
I don't like you more!
Patrick
I 1,000 times never liked you!
Patrick
Yellow!
[They struggle to push each other until both of their pants rip and fall down. Patrick's underwear is yellow. SpongeBob's underwear is pink]
Patrick
Pink?
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
[their eyes start to water] You do care! [both start crying and hug each other]
Let's promise never to fight again, buddy.
Patrick
Yeah, pal. Let's go home.
[both walk away holding hands and whistling while the audience boos]
Get back here and kill each other!
Patrick
You're my best friend ever.
Patrick
You know, these were white when I bought 'em.
[notices Patrick struggling in the water] Holy cow! Somebody's drowning!
Oh, no, that's not possible. The lagoon is closed.
Dude, get your butt in the water!
If there was anyone in there, we'd hear them.
Patrick
Help, help! [SpongeBob stands up and takes off his shades] I can't swim!
Somebody would be screaming that they're drowning.
Patrick
I'm drowning! I'm drowning!
They would have to have crossed the line...
Patrick
I'm drowning 'cause I crossed the line!
[looks at the angry fish and takes out a pair of binoculars] Okay, I'll take a look, but just to prove to you that... [his eyes become huge and break through the lenses of the binoculars] ...PATRICK ISN'T DROWNING! [sees Patrick drowning]
Oh, no! That didn’t just happen! Please tell me that didn’t happen!
Patrick
What happened?
Where are we? We’re lost there’s no way out! Stuck, in the middle of nowhere, with SpongeBob and Patrick! [they wave] Why must every eleven minutes be filled with misery, why?!
Oh, cheer up, squid it could be worse.
Patrick
Yeah, you could be bald, and have a big nose.
[Squidward's nose starts timpani and squeak]
Well, this is the end. [falls to the floor where a duck sound is quacked]
Patrick
[stops hammering on their coffins] It’s not?
Oh, Magic Conch Shell, what do we need to do to get out of the Kelp Forest? [pulls the string]
Patrick
The shell has spoken!
NOTHING?! We can't just sit here and do nothing! [sees that they are literally doing nothing; groans angrily] I can't believe you two are gonna take advice from a toy! [SpongeBob and Patrick still do nothing and not answer. He growls angrily again] All right, all right, all right! I don't need your help. I'm gonna find my way back to sanity!
Patrick
It must’ve been years since we seen each other. Oh, let me get going, he”s Gotta go back to school, soon, he says he’s gonna kick somebody’s butt.
Patrick
Hello, is this pizza castle?
[SpongeBob slams to a door]
What the...? How are you two making that noise?
[laughs] What noise, Squidward?
Patrick
I could only hear the sound of our laughter.
Yes! But those sound effects: the avalanche, the-the-the...
Patrick
Don't forget the second avalanche!
First we establish a base camp at 15,000 feet.
The noises! How are you two making those noises?
Patrick
Well, that's easy. All you need is a box.
And... imagination. [forms a rainbow with his hands]
Are you trying to say I have no imagination? I have more..."imagination" in one tentacle than you two have in your whole bodies.
Patrick
That's good. Now all you need is a box.
[Bubble transition as he looks in his closet] There's gotta be one in here! [finds a small, round green box] Ah! This hat box should do nicely. [pulls out a Mexican sombrero] Why haven't I worn this yet? [throws it off-screen, gets in the box, but he is too big for it and then just sits there. He then frowns with smoking present, looks at his watch, and then gets mad and kicks the box. Police sirens are heard]
PIPoliceman Inside Box
Attention! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!
What do they want with me? What did I do? [gasps] Obviously I violated some new box kicking law. [walks out of his house showing the green box] Look, officers, everything's okay. I won't do it again.
CICriminal Inside Box
You'll never take me alive, coppers!
MIMan Inside Box
No, Johnny! Don't do it! [Police sirens are heard. Squidward gets angry and kicks his green box toward SpongeBob and Patrick's box]
Patrick
[opens box and sirens stop] Whoopee! Another box! [takes the hat box and closes the box they're sitting in and police sirens are heard again]
[The two are trying to reverse the effects of a shrink ray on Mermaid Man's utility belt]
Patrick
You know what the problem is?
Patrick
You got it set to "M" for "mini"... [turns the "M" on the belt upside down] ...When it should be set to "W" for "wumbo".
Patrick, I don't think "wumbo" is a real word.
Patrick
Come on! You know. I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me, wumbo! Wumbo, wumboing ...
[thinking] I wonder if a fall from this height would be enough to kill me.
Patrick
...Wumbology - the study of wumbo? It's first grade, Spongebob.
Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you.
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
