Okay everyone, say goodbye to the worst thing that's happened to this town since 97 cent stores.
EEveryone
Yeah! [SpongeBob tries to break the highway with the tractor, but it just stopped]
Good effort, Spongedope, but you can't tear up my highway, it's indestructible!
LLLarry Lobster
Not if we have anything to do with it!
LLLarry Lobster
That's right, pal, but that's not all. [Sandy walks out from the crowd, waving]
Sandy Squirrel! [Mrs. Puff walks out of the crowd] Mrs. Puff! [Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy both walk out from the crowd] Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy! [Patrick walks walk out from the crowd] Patrick!
PatrickSu-Su-Su-Su!
And Squidward! [Squidward doesn't walk out from the crowd]
F3Fish 3
Nope, that's everybody!
LLLarry Lobster
Push! [He, Patrick, Mrs. Puff, Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy and Sandy push] Harder! [They push harder]
F3Fish 3
You heard the little square guy, yeah! [Everybody lines up behind the tractor and pushes it]
Wait! I didn't count on all of you working together! [Everybody pushes hard enough that the highway breaks!] My highway! Stop! YOU CAN'T! [Plankton gets crushed by the tractor!]
EEveryone
YEAH! [The arch over the Krusty Krab breaks down in a pile of dust and the smog clears]
[Singing] Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jellyfishing song!
Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, everyone sing along!
EEveryone
[Singing] Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jellyfishing song!
EEveryone
Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly everyone sing! [The camera zooms out and we cut to the Jellyfish Fields ranger]
RRanger
[bored voice] Everyone sing along. [switches the "closed" sign to "open," and then walks away]
Oh, Krabsy, after tea, I think a full tentacle massage would be an order.
I ain't touching your tentacles with a 10-ft...
[on phone] Hello, Office Workers Safety Department... [Mr. Krabs jumps at Squidward ripping the phone out of his hand, then eats it]
[chuckles nervously] I'll go get the massage oil now. [runs inside; cut to the storage room] Boy, ya got anything?
Not yet, Mr. Krabs. [Mr. Krabs groans; takes a bucket of fry grease]
[clearing throat] I'm waiting!
This just isn't adding up.
Patrick
[sits up] Pudding?
We must be missing something. Patrick, we're going to need help even more expert than you. [cut to inside the Krusty Krab, where Mr. Krabs massages Squidward's tentacles using the fry grease]
This one's for all the marbles.
Patrick
But I thought we weren't betting.
No, I mean whoever wins this hole wins the game. [Squidward wakes up and takes off his blindfold to see SpongeBob and Patrick talking]
[muffled] What's going on here? [SpongeBob and Patrick are about to hit their balls.] Ahh!!!
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
[they shoot, landing the ball in Gary's food bowl, spilling on him] Hole in one! [Squidward sits up]
Patrick
Sorry we woke you.
[muffled and stammering] Wha-What? [his mouth is shown, with no dentures]
Hey, Squidward, what happened to your dentures? [scene cuts to Gary, with Squidward's dentures in his bowl]
Patrick
[as he and SpongeBob leave Squidward's house] Good game, pal.
Patrick
Rain or shine, SpongeBob. Rain or shine.
[It stops raining, focusing on Squidward's house, which collapses.]
Well, now that you completely ruined my day, once again, I'm going back to bed.
Idiot. [opens his door filled with photos by SpongeBob] What the...?! [sees a picture of Pete] SpongeBob, why is my house filled with photos of your dumb junk?
Oh, I forgot to tell you, I took so many pictures I ran out of room in my house. [opens the door filled with photos and Patrick appears sliding with photos]
Patrick
Nice dress.
[getting very angry; turns red angrily] IT'S A NIGHTSHIRT!
Patrick
Try again.
[panting] Boating...safety...
[Patrick crashes together a pair of cymbals, causing SpongeBob to lose his balance and fall off the treadmill while still holding the handlebars]
Patrick
Come on, SquarePants. Is this the best you can do?
Patrick, I don't think this is working.
[The treadmill's motion grinds SpongeBob into a pile of dust on the floor]
Patrick
[shouts] SPEECH! [startled, SpongeBob jumps up in his normal form. Patrick continues yelling the same word repeatedly, making SpongeBob even more nervous] SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! [his eyes are now talking] SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEE-
Patrick, stop! Somehow, you're help just isn't helping. I am even more nervous about this oral report than I've ever been about anything. [shivers]
Here's your Krabby Patty! [puts his Krabby Patty on the table and holds up his tray] Shall I put it on your tab?
Patrick
Oh, yeah. Keep it open. We might be here all night! Let me just say up front, I'm a fan! I'm excited to learn from a master. My career in self-worth are in your hands! Let us writing on this. Okay... advise!
[sighs and gets up] Why don't you just concentrate on your patty? [leaves]
Patrick
[looks at his patty] Of course, it's so obvious now! How did I not see it earlier? Squidward's a genius! I know now what I must do! [reaches in his pocket for googly eyes and puts them on the patty, admiring his masterpiece.]
FNFrederick Nitpick
[pops out of the ketchup bottle] Brilliant! [hands Patrick a bag full of money] I've never seen such an example of raw creativity! This will turn the art world on its head! I hereby declare this the next big thing! [echoes. The customers swarm the Krusty Krab and hold up their money]
You did it, Patrick! You found your inspiration!
Patrick
[holds up his money bag] And I'm going to need some more of those patty thingies!
You got it, buddy! [jumps into the kitchen and flips some patties, which fly out to Patrick. Patrick decorates a patty and gives it to Tom, who gives him another money bag]
Huh? [hears cha-ching] Ooh, money! Money, money, money, money, money, money, money! [opens the cash register and notices it's empty, then gasps] What the? [gasps again and notices customers giving money to Patrick and SpongeBob giving him patties] SpongeBob! [grabs SpongeBob] Patrick! [grabs Patrick and pulls both of them into his office] What's the meaning of this?
Patrick
It's my art. Uh, I buy Krabby Patties for $3 and I..I sell them for $50. [Mr. Krabs gets mad with a growling animal sound. SpongeBob and Patrick get worried and cry]
Patrick
Why is he so mad, Squidward? I was just following your advice!
What?! [to Squidward, angrily] It was your idea, huh?!
[The scene cuts to SpongeBob bringing more patties out.]
Here's a whole new batch of Krabby Patty canvases.
Great, SpongeBob! [to Incidental 41] That'll be fifty bucks!
I4Incidental 41
[hands Mr. Krabs money] It's so inexpensive!
And here's your patty! One more art patty, Mr. Star!
I4Incidental 41
It's such an honor to meet you!
Patrick
[takes the patty] I can only imagine! Apprentice! [turns to Squidward] Make another of my masterpieces, good man. [Squidward grabs the patty and squirts glue on the top bun] If you work real hard, you may be an artist too someday! [Squidward growls at Patrick. Patrick looks at the patty.] Mm, probably not. Needs more glitter. [Squidward breaks down bawling, ending the episode]
[running outside of his Grandma's house] Hang on, Gary! [when SpongeBob arrives at his house and opens the door, water comes out, and SpongeBob swims inside, then the water drains out] Gary! [hears Gary meow] What's the matter, buddy? [runs up the stairs, the sees Gary meowing at the book called "Snail Tales" while Patrick is laying on' SpongeBob's bed] Ahh... reading Patrick a bedtime story, I see. "Snail Tales," that's a good one.
Patrick
[sits up on the bed] "Snail Tales"? I thought it was called, "Meow, meow, meow".
[taking down notes] Normal. [he then goes in the robot warehouse. He is counting the robots] 2,692... [he is wearing a hat. He types the something down on a gadget. The gadget takes out some paper with the words on it] 2,693... [types something again and the gadget takes out more paper] 2,694... [types something again but he types to much causing the gadget to take out lots of paper. He starts laughing. Suddenly, the gadget goes on fire and so does the paper then it disintegrates. SpongeBob leaves. Scene cuts to him wearing a dress while dusting Sandy's artifacts] Sandy said this collection of rare fragile artifacts needs to be gently cleaned twice daily. There we go. Not a speck of dust anywhere. Wait a minute. [turns a skull head around and spots a dot on it] Aha! [takes a feather off the duster and dusts the dot off] There... we go. [scene cuts to SpongeBob checking the worm incubator] Worm incubator. Well, looks like everything's fine here. [there is a squishing sound] What the...? [a worm starts to hatch] Ohhh! Sandy said these wouldn't hatch for... [checks the list] ...weeks! What is going on?! [Patrick's head pops up] Oh! Patrick? [Patrick pops out of the hole wearing his helmet]
Patrick
SpongeBob! There you are!
Oh, what a relief. I thought you were a horrible mutant worm who was about to soak me with digestive juices and slowly consume me over a period of weeks.
Patrick
Nah, no thanks. I had a late breakfast.
Why are you wearing that funny thing on your head?
Patrick
Well, because we can't breathe in Sandy's treedome, remember? It's filled with air.
Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me. I almost for... [dries up and starts gasping for water] P-P-P-Patrick! Help me! I-I can't b-b-b-breathe! [Patrick puts a water helmet on SpongeBob's head]
Patrick
There you go. [SpongeBob inhales and exhales]
Thanks, Patrick. You're a lifesaver. Now that I haven't suffocated, it's high time I got back to this list of house-sitting duties. So without further ado, Patrick, [opens the door] I'd like you to please immediately exit the treedome.
Patrick
E-Exit the... Exit the treedome?!
That's right. Exit the tree...
Patrick
Oh, SpongeBob, that's a great idea! Where should we go—Jellyfish Fields, Goo Lagoon, Barg'N-Mart, Lucky Larry's?
Well, Lucky Larry's sounds fun.
Patrick
All right, let's go!
Hold it! I promised Sandy I'd take extra-special care of her treedome while she's at the Inventor's Convention today. And that is exactly what I intend to do. Patrick, this is a major responsibility.
Patrick
Well, in that case, I'd better stay and help you.
Patrick
Pleeease?
Patrick
Pretty please?
Patrick
Pretty please with a scoop of vanilla ice cream?
Patrick
Pretty please with a scoop of strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream, smothered in gooberberry sauce and topped with half a can of whipped topping?
Patrick, what do you take me for?
Patrick
And a scoop of nuts!
Patrick
[jumps with joy] Hooray!
But you have to promise not to touch anything.
Patrick
[raises his left hand] I, Patrick Star, hereby promise not to touch anything.
Patrick
Can I watch you work?
Patrick
Please?
Patrick
Please?
Patrick
Please?
Patrick
Please?
Patrick
Pretty please?
[gets fed up with Patrick begging] No! No! No! No! [growls, Patrick continues to follow him] Go away, Patrick! Go away, Patrick! Patrick! Patrick! Patrick! [washes hands and Patrick appears in the mirror] Patrick! [Patrick touches his Krusty Krab employee hat] Patrick! [pushes a button on the cash register and Patrick appears] Patrick! [starts walking with Patrick closely following him behind] Patrick! [using the restroom with Patrick beside him] Patrick! [starts sweating and shivering with Mr. Krabs now beside him]
Mr. Squidward? [Squidward screams] Time for your break. [walks off]
Ah... don't mind if I do. [sits down] Ah...no better way to spend a break than with a little cool jazz. [takes out the box that holds his clarinet and tries to play it but it isn't there] Huh?
Patrick
[comes out of the restroom] Hi Squidward!
Patrick
I just finished cleaning the restroom!
[sarcastically] Ooh... that's great...
Patrick
I mopped the floors! I shined the mirrors! I scrubbed the sinks.
[sarcastically] Wonderful.
Patrick
Oh yeah! [takes out Squidward's clarinet that is soaking wet] But we are going to need a new toilet plunger. This one's broken.
Patrick! [takes back the clarinet and growls at Patrick which Mr. Krabs appears to see what is happening]
Nice work, Patrick! Break time's over, Mr. Squidward.
[Patrick is dreaming he is in a large office room, silently fidgeting with objects on his desk. The phone beeps.]
TGTelephone Girl
Mr. Star, I have a SpongeBob SquarePants on line 3!
Patrick
Put him through. [answers the phone]
[through phone] Patrick! [cut back to reality. Patrick wakes up] Patrick! Patrick Star!
Patrick
Oh, hey, buddy! You really need to clean up around here.
[The scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick are walking in somewhere of Bikini Bottom. Patrick smiles]
Patrick! Don't even smile. That's considered making a face.
Patrick
Right, gotcha. [Patrick stop smiling] No problem. Not gonna make faces. No faces... at all.
Yeah. This is... [gulps] easy. How you holding up?
Patrick
Huh, fine. You? [SpongeBob grunts, but makes an T-shaped face and laughs, Patrick fails to keep a straight face and makes an ugly face] Dun ah eeh. [both SpongeBob and him are laughing, SpongeBob suddenly stops and looks at his himself]
Hey! [Patrick is still ignoring him while laughing] Patrick. [Patrick is still laughing. SpongeBob pulls out a megaphone and yells at him] Patrick!
Patrick
What?
Look at us. We're okay. Our faces didn't freeze.
Patrick
[stretching through his eyes for a few times] Gosh, you're right.
Guess, Mr. Krabs made a mistake. Well, now that we know his tall tale isn't true, let's make lots of faces.
Patrick
You mean like this? [stretching] Ree eeh eeh!
[SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both, SpongeBob growls]
Patrick
[laughs] Aye yi yi yi!
[montage of SpongeBob and Patrick making grotesque faces]
Patrick
Phee!
Patrick
Dun ree ah yee!
Patrick
Ah ah ooh!
Patrick
Aydh!
Patrick
Looo ooo ooo!
Dah yah dah da dah! [he and Patrick both laugh]
[wakes up and surprised] Wow, Patrick, you did hold that face all night!
Patrick
Actually, I can't move my face at all.
[feels on his face] I can't move my face either!
Patrick
[oblivious and excited] Alright! We did it!
No, Patrick! It's not alright, this means Mr. Krabs was right! [Patrick then realizes the situation and gets scared] Patrick, we have the "face freeze"! [both scream] Patrick, Sandy was right, we need help!
Patrick
Hey, SpongeBob. Your snail's still meowing? I have experience with these situations. You're the sponge. He is the snail. You just have to say, "No," in a very firm voice!
But... I don't want to say no to my wittle Gare-Bear! I want him to be happy.
Patrick
Well, you gotta be firm, SpongeBob! Sometimes, you have to no when to say "know." Oh, wait... wait, wait, wait, it's the other way around. You've got to know when to say "no." Yeah, that's it!
But I don't know how to say no, Patrick!
Patrick
No problem, SpongeBob. You can practice on me! Pretend I'm Gary and tell me no. [pretends to be a dog]
[Tries to say no but stops] I can't! You're so cute!
Patrick
Do it, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob struggles again] Do it! [between struggles] DO IT! DO IT!! DO IT!!! DO IT!!!! DO IT!!!! DO IT!!!! DO IT!!!!!!
Patrick
STOP IT!!!!! [runs back to his rock crying]
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
